Tuesday, December 19, 2006
Come together right now over me
Okay folks, this is my last word on orgasms, honest. Lennon and McCartney knew the power of orgasms to change the world and bring peace to everyone when they wrote that line. And now it's time to put that sentiment into action. As usual, I have my finger on the pulse of the cosmos, and am here to inform you that Friday, the 22 December is Global Orgasm Day.
No, I've not been smoking crack. This is an official day. A day when you should, nay, must wank.
Now, I know there are some of you out there who will be saying, I'm happy to do it, but what would I be wanking for?
A: Because the collective energy released by this Synchronized Global Orgasm will bring about world peace.
I'm not kidding. I want every one of you to make a solemn promise to wank for peace.
Q: But why should we wank?
A: Let me tell you why. The future of humanity hangs in the balance, so get your goddamn hand lotion out and your dildos and porn mags and blow up dolls and whatever the fuck else you need and get on with it.
This is a very serious business, and the mission of this Global Orgasm Offensive is 'to effect change in the energy field of the Earth through input of the largest possible surge of human energy. Now that there are two more US fleets heading for the Persian Gulf with anti-submarine equipment that can only be for use against Iran, the time to change Earth’s energy is NOW!
The intent is that the participants concentrate any thoughts during and after orgasm on peace. The combination of high-energy orgasmic energy combined with mindful intention may have a much greater effect than previous mass meditations and prayers.
The goal is to add so much concentrated and high-energy positive input into the energy field of the Earth that it will reduce the current dangerous levels of aggression and violence throughout the world.'
Got it? Okay, so let's do it. This Friday let's think peaceful thoughts while we stimulate ourselves to release wave upon wave of cosmic energy.
One thing that's bothering me in all this, what do the sado-mascochists do who need to think about giving/receiving pain in order to achieve orgasm? Is their cosmic energy going to have a negative charge? Going off to look into this.
Pass it on. Wank for peace.
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23 comments:
i have presonally enjoyed how the cv for those planning this is that they got a bunch of people to protest naked for pictures in which the spelled out different words. that really jives well with all the princeton, scientific talk.
and what if the time-line is while one is at work. will all the bathroom stalls be full?
Good enough reason for me. Hopefully a very intense one!
good enough.
i wonder what level of peace and joy this could take things to, especially if it was approached from a global initiative.
I'm gonna get practicing right now!
.. i think that new dildo has gone to your head honey..
kat...I don't think you have to do it at a certain time, just do it.
wild one ...The more intense the orgasm is the more peace will be spread around the world. So make it a good one.
Jen...this is going to change the world, man, it's like those anti-Vietnam love ins. Groovy.
Janet...I'm glad you're committed to the cause, but don't wear yourself out before Friday.
kimba...you don't know how heavy the pressures of monogamy weigh on my shoulders. It's all right for girls like you, who can pash fellas left right and center, you are constantly in a haze of sexual ecstasy. I only have my husband, my fantasy and the dildo. I do the best I can!
I have big plans for world orgasm day. Two men, lots of sex, many orgasms -- all for the good of the world, of course.
Linked to your post over at mine.. hoping that my Mr Planes (alternative name Mr. Come Again) reads it.. and is encouraged to call me..
Mr. Planes statistics: Dates (2); My Orgasms (10)
Kimba ... thanks for linking me sweetie. I don't really understand how a smart girl like you could let a gem like Mr Planes slip through your fingers. Two dates and ten orgasms? You are kidding me? I'll cross my fingers for you in the hope that you get a repeat performance soon.
"wank for peace"
oh... now that you put it THAT way... all right!
I'm not so sure about this. Most of our belligerent overlords are wankers, and look where we are now!
Emma, I suppose this beats the usual version of 'Oh, Come all ye Faithful' at this time of year?!
Are you not allowed to use a partner to produce your orgasm(s) on Friday?
crankmama...It's your moral duty. Now get to it.
meva ...even the world's worst wankers will be wanking. It's the only way to turn this bad world into one where hate turns to peace. I really think this could work ;)
Jo ..you are really funny. I still can't get over Laurence of A-Labia. Do you have a blog? If you do, email me the address.
yorksdevil ...yes of course you can do it with another human, I was just promoting wanking in case those who did not have access to partners felt inadequate. Stimulate yourself and others in any way you see fit.
Done and done...
And I mean DONE! ;)
Steve~
Steve...WTF? You're two days early.
what a great ambassador you could be Steve.. pleasuring women all across the timezones..
I gave yesterday ;-)
Oh how I gave :-)
and received
But I daresay I could manage to give again on Friday
freddy...you have to try and regain some energy for Friday when we will all be synchronizing. But I'm sure S appreciated your giving and giving. You sound like my kind of guy.
Sorry Emma. No blog as of yet. However my email is noodle00uk@yahoo.co.uk
there I was looking forward to a quite Friday night, after the hectic work week. (Do the other four days count?) ;)
I think I'm getting RSI from my 2006 wankfest.
Amusing blog - much more interesting than my train commuting ramblings!!
Girl On a Train
And Emma, as you fulfill your orgasmic obligations on Friday, please think of 10 things you love that begin with the letter H, because I tagged you.
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