Tuesday, December 12, 2006

Penis Envy



Penis Envy is one of those phrases coined by um, a man, obviously, specifically, by Mr Freud. I guess I find the male member sometimes stimulating, exciting, arousing or even amusing, but can't say I've ever had a burning desire to have one myself. Why would you want something you have to fiddle around with to get it into a comfortable position in your trousers? And then there's also the problem of having erections at swimming pools when you're a teenager.

But the one thing I am kind of interested in is, what does the male sex drive feel like? How does it feel to be sexually excited as a man? Is it really true that men are always thinking about sex and poised for action?
Is the male sex drive like a constant incessant pain, a constant drum beating in your scrotum, desperate for relief?
Or does it vary from day to day?
Is it only inspired by looking at a particularly beautiful woman, or can it sometimes be any woman, any pair of tits?
Does it feel unbearable to desire a woman like mad and not be able to sleep with her?
And is there some analogy you can use to compare the experience of being aroused in a way that a woman might understand, like maybe a food analogy? Like maybe, being starved to death, and being tied to a chair with the most perfect, most delicious piece of chocolate on the table in front of me for 3 days…Is that what it's like?

28 comments:

undercovercookie said...

I'm a woman but I've got the man's sort of libido. It's just like when you're really hungry and anything ambiguous makes you think it's food, or about food, and your ears prick up at the mention of food. And all this talk of food makes you even MORE hungry and you think: wow, I could really go for some fried chicken and lots of sauce and maybe something potato based, with cheese on top and grilled and some bacon bits. That would be jsut perfect right now. This is what it's like but it's in the form of filthy thoughts instead. And being in the mood ALL the time. Thinking "oh, I could just pull him close and nibble his neck and then work my way down and..." ALL the time. It's kinda nice sometime and really frustrating and ditracting at others.
As to whether anyone would do, there I think I differ from men. Not just anyone would do, it has to be my nearest and dearest. I don't trust just anyone that close. I suspect for men it is different. Sex is not so physically invasive, for a start. And if they have gone without sex for long enough (just like with food) then ANYTHING will do but if they're just craving something nice, then I figure something nice would be preferred.

I've never had a boyfriend complain of my high libido - unless I get demanding.

Janet a.k.a. "Wonder Mom" said...

I'm sure it doesn't hurt to have an erection...otherwise they'd never get one...

I've always wondered myself.

I lurve that picture...yum.

Yorksdevil said...

I think undercovercookie must have mine.

Emma Kaufmann said...

undercovercookie ... having such a high libido sounds like a bit of a pain! I guess I have a pretty low libido, I usually do not eye up men in the street or bars, hardly ever, unless I am a bit drunk. I guess I am one of those people who usually only begins to find a man really attractive once they start to talk to me and start giving off that spark, be it charisma or pheremones or whatever.

Janet ... Oh goodness me, yes, that man in the photo is pretty damn fine.

yorksdevil...so, you and undercovercookie have the same libido. Like I said, having that high a libido must be exhausting.

la fille mariée said...

Penis envy... well, yes, I think that I would really, really like to know what it's like to have one. In fact, if something could be arranged where you could have both a penis and a vagina... er, never mind. Too weird.

Anyhow, I think I have a pretty active libido, Emma, but like you, it's pretty much only triggered once I've heard at least a few words out of his mouth. On the other hand, I would also eye someone up who is nice looking... but I would be thinking about wanting to talk with him, not necessarily having sex with him. Well, maybe not always.

Hope we hear from some men here, to find out what it's really like. :)

Jocelyn said...

I'm sitting here, aghast at myself that I've never before considered your very good questions. Now I'm going to be pondering them whilst I get my hair cut in half an hour. Thanks for giving me something to distract me from the inane chatter with the stylist.

Emma Kaufmann said...

la fille mariee...actually yorksdevil is a man. But we need more men dishing the dirt. They are probably too shy!

jocelyn...I'm pleased I livened up your trip to the salon.

Sean said...

I can't help here as the job has wrung every last bit of libido out of me.

I do not think about sex every few seconds. I never have. I don't know anyone of either sex who does. Regrettably, I have no sexual fantasies.

On those occasions on which my libido has been prodded into action I feel a slight shortness of breath and a nervous excitement. I think less clearly and my skin tingles.

I think uncontrollable male libido is a myth propogated by both men and women. For women it may provide an explanation for a partner's infidelity which is less corrosive of dignity and self-confidence. For men it is a great excuse to shag about and blame their genes.

Linda said...

I just wish that when your Mum was explaining the facts of life to you, and told you about the 3-5 days a month you would be a wicked, miserable, wretch, that she might have bothered to mention the other 3-5 days a month when even the postman looks good and a shag with the guy who bags groceries is not out of the question if it will scratch the damn itch. So yeah.

Jules said...

Ha, I too have often wondered this!
But it's more of a curiousity of what the male orgasm would feel like, and whether or not it is less or more powerful than mine...

fat ho said...

i'm thinking about sex right now...

fat ho said...

...and now.

Kristin said...

If indeed men think about sex every 7 seconds, I think it would be both exhausting and frustrating to be a man... lord fellows, get on with it!

This is Kristin from Eva Las Vegas btw, I can't get Beta to link to my profile....

Sloth said...

I think a lot of the male sex drive comes from the looking (insert perving) that men do on women. Working in a semi (double entendre) blue collar job I find myself in lots of situations where looking at all the ladies walking down the street is the norm.
I personally think it is not the drive for sex, maybe just for different sex.
Do we think about it all the time, no. But can we switch to the topic quickly, yes.
We have a strange tendancy to share callous fact, but not the emotions behind such acts.
I think this topic is a varied as the interpretations of the word love.
Everyone is different, and the stereotypical male does not exisist. (And is certanly not me.)
For me my drive is low and quickly goes to flat out when a lady shows interest. (Sadly, for me anyway, it is rarly flat out.)

kimba said...

Linda! Yess Yesss.. oh Yesssss!!!

I tend to stare men down on the way to work at around days 18 - 20.. Sometimes I almost think I have the courage to say.. 'hey stranger.. let's forget about work for the day.. do you live close by?'

It's delicious feeling like that but also frightening..

fat ho said...

kimba: i need to start catching the same train/tram as you...

http://fathose.blogspot.com/2006/12/question-of-day-last-12-years.html

ahaha.

Freddy said...

How does it feel, as a man, to be sexually excited? Well, often it feels damned uncomfortable. My penis is very small when flaccid. It's easily tucked away in my boxers and ignored. But start turning me on and up it comes. Erect it occupies maybe 12 times as much space, and with absolutely no flexibility.
Uncomfortable is the word.
Can it be painful? Not in an unpleasant way. But yes, in an 'ohhhhhhhh please give me some release' way.
What turns me on?
Anything S does, and then mostly things that excites my mind.
The chocolate analogy is pretty good btw

Yorksdevil said...

No, she must have mine instead of me.

Anastasia said...

All that you mention, and I've wondered what male genital arousal feels like, whether it's similar to a woman's initial erotic glow..how an erection feels from a bloke's point of view without the eroto-romantic shades that only belong in novels, just raw description.

Sean said...

Although arousal will usually be accompanied by an erection the reverse is not always true. It would be wrong to think of the penis as a big clitoris. It is not universally sensitive though parts of it obviously are. Male orgasm can be intense and transporting but from what I gather from conversations with women it is comparatively short. Also is it not the climax of a period of building intensity. The pattern is more nothing ... nothing ... nothing .. Hang on ... woah ... zzzzz

Emma Kaufmann said...

jules...I guess we are all interested about what the male orgasm feels like. A lot of men I have asked about this seem to be in some way jealous of the female orgasm, maybe because it builds and builds and then you get an afterglow as well. And then women can also have multiples, which men can't, I think. I guess the grass is always greener on the other side! I am always jealous of men because they can always always come.

sean...thanks for your insight into the male orgasm. I guess if maybe the male orgasm is shorter, maybe that is the payback for men's ability to be able to orgasm more easily than most women.

Linda/Kimba/Fat Ho...I am trying to think about my days 18-20 and whether I would shag anything in trousers on those days. I don't think I am more sensitive to male attractiveness during this period, but I am going to do an experiment this month and see if I share your biological cravings. If I do go up to a man and say 'hey stranger, let's do the horizontal tango' I am invariably pissed.

kristin...I think from the men's comments here that maybe the thinking about sex every 7 minutes thing for men is a myth.

Emma Kaufmann said...

Sloth...thanks for commenting, very interesting points. And I am sorry that the ladies do not often rev up your motor.

Freddy...so sometimes it feels damned uncomfortable to be sexually excited. I never expected that. Thanks for the insight!

Anastasia...I think that from what Freddy says an erection feels a lot different from female sexual arousal. Like, I don't think I hardly ever feel like 'oh please give me some release now'. I am happy for it to just happen when it happens.

overnighteditor said...

I unsuccesfully tried to describe it here:

http://overnighteditor.typepad.com/theovernighteditor/2006/09/like_the_tranqu.html

[US readers delete "Canary Wharf" insert "the Chrysler Building"]

Imagine if everything you ever thought, said or did was driven by one darkburning, billion-tonne crushing obsession - more important AT. EVERY. SINGLE. SECOND. than breathing in and out.

OK, I admit, it's been awhile.

deb said...

Men don't always come Emma, and there are men out there that take a helluva long time and a whole lot of hard work to come. I like sex but when your arm hurts and you've tried everything you can think of to finish things off, it's just not fun anymore.

Freddy said...

Sometimes it's as sean said - nothing nothing nothing whooooaaaaaaaa!
But other times it's so much more than that.

Imagine a place on the sex graph that is just below orgasm, the place that means that you are guaranteed to climax, you always climax if you get to here with just
a
little
more
god
yes
oh
oh
just
a
bit
more
there
oh
now imagine being stuck there for a long long time
now will you beg for release?

Oh and for the record, guys can have multiple orgasms ejaculation and orgasm are not the same thing.

Steven Novak said...

You want to know what it feels like?

Get a pair of headphones...

Get a recording of some people fucking...

Play it on the headphones, and walk around all day, every day with it blasting in your ear. ;)

Steve~

Emma Kaufmann said...

overnighteditor ... darling, darling, you really need to get rid of this billion-tonne crushing obsession, and get laid.

deb...I sympathize, I really do. I'm afraid I have a lot less patience. Once my arm has gone numb it's time he finish the job himself, that's my opinion, anyway.

freddy...I knew that male orgasm and ejaculation were not the same thing but did not know men could have multiples.

steve...you are too fucking funny for your own good.

la fille mariée said...

Thanks for this discussion, Emma. This was hugely enlightening for me. I am so glad I'm a woman. ;)