Oh my! Today I am walking around with a smile on my face, a skip in my step, after some fabulous orgasms last night. Yes, you've guessed it, I am in love! He is quite well endowed (eight inches), and he is always ready for action. Actually, yesterday my husband joined us, which was fun, but usually it is just me and my new guy. Who is this wonder stud? Why, my new dildo of course. Why do I have a plain old dildo when there are so many more technologically advanced sex toys out on the market? Because I find vibrators just plain annoying, that's why.
Anyway, this new fella is getting a bit annoyed because I just treat him like an object, calling him a giant rubber schlong. He says he's not just in it to give me orgasms, he wants to feel like I like him as a person too. Whatever. Well, maybe he does have a point. So basically, I'm asking for your help, loyal readers, to help me find a name for my new friend.
I have come up with these so far:
A) Dirty Harry
B) Pimp Daddy
C) Jimmy Ream
D) Bongo in My Congo
E) The Boss
Choose one of these or give me one of your own. Thanks!
Friday, December 15, 2006
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20 comments:
how about "penis envy"
or
"fill 'er up Joe"
or
"basement boudoir billy"
sorry - i haven't had enough coffee... that's all i got.
Oh my word.
I love you.
You just crack me up.
I like the names:
'Willie'
'Nubbin'
'Dill'
and yours. 'Dirty harry"
The Clit Club
Mother's Enormous Helper
The Emma Sculator
Glad to hear you've met your soulmate, mine's coming next week, can't wait. I like the idea of Willy or Phil but the Emma Sculator is inspired.
How about “The Emmanator”
Thanks for stopping by. You are definitely welcome anytime!
It would never occur to me to name mine. I hardly ever even use it.
Bongo in my Congo?
Are you compairing your cortoch to a rain forest?
Maybe you should do a little trimming. ;)
Steve~
I'm sad to say that I don't have a dildo of my own (must add it to the Christmas list) but my best friend's dildo is named Sebastian. Very classy.
crankmama... you're going to have to do better than that.
janet...this is a very serious business. I like Nubbin.
deb...maybe the arrival of your new, er, friend will cheer you up a bit!
sean...brilliant. You should get a job writing copy for a sex toy manufacturers.
bianca .... maybe you're simply not in love with yours the way I am with mine.
wild one ... The Emmanator. Good one.
steve...how dare you compare my bush to a rain forest ;) It is actually very well trimmed, thank you very much. I don't know what that Bongo name was all about, my husband suggested it, it was meant to be provocative.
And I thought that a man of your creativity could have thought of a name for my dildo.
Nothing I say will top "Bongo in my Congo."
And yet, for some reason I still feel there's a market for a "Jump, Jive and Wail."
8 inches of God?
fred?
or maybe ricky, or wayne, or how about dubya - he's fucking the world these days.
S calls her largest such implement dynorod, or 'the beast'.
I'm struggling to beat the emmasculator though.
Note - to sculate is a potential new verb for the act of self stimulation
Inanimate Carbon Rod?
How about Lawrence, as in Lawrence of A-Labia?
how about 'rubber johnny'?
heh.
happy holidays, emma.
Call it Geoff.
OH MY GOD - found your blog via Moobs, and I am already hooked after just this post!
OK ... if I am to choose one of yours, I will have to go with either "Bongo in My Congo" or "The Boss." They are equally hilarious, although the latter leaves disturbing images of a naked Donald Trump in my mind. So maybe the "Bongo" one.
My own suggestions are: "The Ambassador of My Pleasure," "The Only Man I Ever Truly Loved," or "Bob Smith."
I especially love the idea of your asking around your house, "Where is The Only Man I Ever Truly Loved?" When your husband says, "Right here!", you would say, "Where? I don't see him anywhere around here!" And "Bob Smith" just makes me laugh because it's such a plain name. And the "Ambassador" one? Well, it's just true.
Emma:
I hope I'm not too late. Here are my write-ins:
1. Lucius Vorenus
2. Stumpy
3. Glad He Ate Her (in the spirit of the Roman theme).
4. Ed
The boss. I don't think I have room for 8 inches. I need a guy with a penis the size of his thumb.
desirea ...you don't have to put the whole eight inches in all the way. But I don't really understand what use a penis the size of a thumb is either. Can't you just use the guy's thumb if he is too well endowed for you ;)
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