Hello my name is Ivanka. I am living in Uzbekistan. I am looking for the American husband. I love your culture and your Coca Cola and your President Clinton.
My hobbies are crocheting and making the cabbage soup. I am loving very much to be making the housework and cleaning the toilets.
I am very sexy and would be loving always to please my husband. Get in touch and let us see if we can have groovy times. Yes?
Ivanka
xxx
Yes, yes, that is me. Did you guess? Being a technological retard, I only just got a digital camera, and obviously, having nothing else to do on Christmas day (well apart from go to tedious family events and make myself sick on chocolate) I took photos of myself, and was really quite pleased that they looked like they would be perfect on a Russian mail order bride site, no? So if you need a Russian mail order bride, do get in touch. This is a very special offer for a limited time only. I will give you all the details …
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20 comments:
You are so frickin' funny.
Now I want to see a picture of your dildo...hee hee...What did you ever name him...?
See where my mind is????
A real Russian mail order bride would be showing some more skin.
What a HAWTTIE!!
Just LOOK at those cheekbones.
Pretty pretty girl who will come to visit MEEEEEE
Janet...In the end I decided to call him Dirty Harry. I hadn't actually looked at him close up in the light until the other night when I did..and he is ridged and a wierd kind of sparkly red color. I'm not going to put him up on the Internet though, because he's a bit modest.
Neil...When we are marrying and I am living with you in the United States of Amerika I will show you all the rest of my beautiful body. Do you have nice big American car?
Crankmama...I am glad you are liking my cheekbones. I am wonderful Russian lady. You find me husband with big American house, please? I give you vodka in exchange and bear skin coat.
I'll take 2 please - to whom should I make the cheque out?
After how many christmas vodka eggnogs??
Emma, you really are a gorgeous chick. And you really do need to get a life. So many more interesting things you could be doing with your camera. Nudge, nudge, wink, wink.
I like your self-portraits, Ivanka I mean Emma. I get that same sort of expression too. That kind of am I pointing this thing the right way, is this my best side now what is a good face to pull? look. Mail-order bride is a perfect description of the look.
Thanks for dropping by with holiday wishes. Hope your's were good, and I will be back to read more of your very funny blog.
I'd be fond of "Russian Mail Order Hookers."
Ivankalot?
Hang on a tick - I'm moving to America...
How to avoid the russian mail-order bride effect....
three words emma
self-timer, & tripod
is that three? or is the ampersand a word, which makes the word count four?
oh well. I made my point I think.
PS If you don't have a tripod you can just balance the camera somewhere
That's some fine looking catalogue merchandise right there!
Hope you had a happy one, emma.
xx
You need to sit somewhere there is more ambient light. Then the flash won't give you that "L'Oreal skin creme" look.
As your husband reads your blog I will skip the part where I tell you how beautiful you look anyway.
Quick, what do you mean, "hang on a tick,"
I'm not a bloody Christmas tree.
I'm also looking forward to meeting nice American for sexy times. I am chubby, dark haired, Polish girl with name ending in 'ski. I am also liking very much your Willy Clinton.
I live in Skotland used to drive a Lada...
Thanks for taking the time to comment on my blog. I've been catching up on yours and enjoyed it enough to link to.
Cheers!
tag(carpet)bagger...Make a very large check out to Mommyhasaheadache. cheers!
kimba...you cheeky monkey. But yes, you are right. I had imbibed couple of eggnogs that day, as well as a Bailey's.
la fille mariee...I do try and get a life but affairs etc. I just can't do it. I think maybe I will take a walk on the wild side when I am a little older and more chilled. Until then I will have to live vicariously through your pleasures...lol
stompergirl...it was a good laugh taking the photos, but after doing 200 of them the thrill has worn off a bit.
malnurtured snay ... Ivanka is not hooker. She is well bred Russian peasant girl who likes to make cabbage soup. But she can pretend to be hooker for extra thousand roubles.
quick...Ivankalot would be perfect for Ivanka.
meva...Happy Holidays to you too. I am quite glad Christmas is over, but then I am a bit of a Scrooge.
freddy...thanks for the advice but I am not ready for a tripod yet. Maybe in about three years time.
Sean...you can tell me I'm beautiful any time (blushes).
tickersoid...I no want no bloody chubby Polish love rival. You start your own Polish Love Sluts site, okay?
Kim...Welcome. I love the Lada. I am driving a wonderful 1978 model that is very groovy. But I am looking to have mini van when I am coming to US of A.
Dearest Ivanka,
You are looking so slim! You are clearly making the soup LIGHT.
oh the joys...Oh yes, I am trying to keep thin because I am knowing that apart from Willy Clinton who like the Lewinsky, the American mens not like bigger ladies.
god! you're so gorgeous, i nearly sent away for you!
x
(when did you become emmak? see? i only have to go away for a few days and suddenly i don't know what's going on)
emma, you're hysterical! i'm so glad i chanced upon your blog! i'm at yahoo, by the way.
http://360.yahoo.com/OrangeJammies
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