New Year's Day must be the most depressing day of the year. I don't have a hangover though, so it's not too bad.
Why am I the only one who ever notices all the bad things in the world? Like yesterday I was on the Internet at the library and I happened to read what the guy beside me was writing. He was fat, sweaty, typical paedo, but it wouldn't have mattered if he looked like Brad Pitt, the guy was scum. He was writing to some teen on myspace:
"Yes, I am fourteen too. Yes, I do think you could be a model. I think you have star quality and I am sure you would look as good in real life as you do on the screen."
I mean, what do you do about people like that? Do you report them to the librarian? Or do you just slink off and leave some kid to be preyed on by a whack job, and forget about it, until it happens to your own daughter? That's it, I am not posting any more pictures of my kids on the Internet. Except maybe this one...
Well, I'm not going to make any resolutions, because I never keep them. I am pleased that I am slim now and my eating is under control. Frankly, I look hot. Frankly, I am a little too obsessed with my appearance. Frankly I need to get a grip.
Strange message on the answer phone from my husband's ex-girlfriend last night. He knew her when he was at college, and she was pretty unhinged. She had a baby at nineteen, and also spent some time in a mental institution. Still, apparently, he loved her something fierce. He sees her sometimes when he goes to Dublin. Well this woman, let's call her Sinead, leaves this long rambling message, saying, essentially, nothing.
"Hello John and family...I'm just calling to wish you all the best....[long pause]....I wonder what time it is there...I think you are about five hours behind...well, I was just calling to say Happy New Year and good luck for 2007 and, er, best wishes for the future..."
Answer phone cuts message off.
So, John is a bit perturbed by the call. He wonders what she wants. I wonder if she is still in love with him. I reckon she is.
He is convinced I sent her a Christmas card to annoy him, like I even know her address!
I feel a bit threatened by this woman, although I don't know why. My husband is sulking at the moment. He says he is tired of telling me what I need to do in life, since I never listen to him.
But that isn't strictly true. He just tells me what he would do if he was in my position.
Like, I just want to go out and party all the time. I know that is stupid, I know that means I am having a late adolescence, still, I have a need to do it. Not that I hardly ever even indulge these impulses.
I am trying to be a good wife.
I am doing the reparations on the house.
I am trying to teach the kids German and not be so impatient.
I am trying to be good, good, good.
Yet, still I feel so Bohemian, I have all sorts of impulses that are not good. I did some very foolish things last year. Problem is, I never regret any of these things. I think I need to go through them to get to the other side.
Maybe the best resolution I can make is not to be so hard on myself. What about you? Any resolutions?