1. The Scent of Cumming
I love the smell of Cumming in the morning, don't you? Yes, there's a new fragrance called Cumming on the market, and it smells like, er ... well you'll have to go here to find out.
The fragrance is named after actor Alan Cummings, and maybe it's meant to demonstrate that he has a highly developed sense of irony, but it's still a godawful name, don't you think? Buy it for a lover you're too scared to give the elbow to.
2. Celebrity butt plugs
When you give your beloved a lovingly crafted butt plug replica of her favorite celebrity, it will bring a tear to her eye every time she uses it.
The top sellers are:
* George Dubya Tush
* Smell Gibson (Braveheart Edition)
* Parass Hilton
You can also have a friend, family member, boss or colleague made into your very own butt plug. Truly a gift to treasure.
3. Artificial Foreskins
Is your lover circumsised and wishes he wasn't? Look no further, the Artificial Retractable Foreskin is here.
A new product called Senslip is being marketed as "the world's first ever artificial retractable foreskin for circumcised men."
The company claims that SenSlip will help restore the sensitivity of the penis, and protect the glans from the dryness and chafing caused by constant exposure to, and rubbing against, clothing.
The company's website actually has a video of the foreskin being used (I didn't watch it because I'd just eaten, but please, go right ahead).
And don't take my word for it, there are lots of testimonials about this product including P.L. in Houston who says, "this is bringing my glans back to its former glory. I made a big mistake getting cut in the first place."
4. Pee like a man
As well as a deep and abiding belief that having a penis would make us insanely happy, what many men don't know is that we girls have always had a dream of one day being able to pee standing up, just like a man. This Valentine's Day, why not make your lover's dream a reality with the P-Mate.
Karen Diamond, the President of Go Your Way, the first US distributor of the P-Mate, says...
"This is a revolutionary product that has taken Europe by storm. It allows women to pee standing up, just like the boys, giving a whole new slant on equal rights for women."
And here's a final thought: If we could all pee side by side, wouldn't the world be a better place?
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15 comments:
Where would women keep their P-mate? Wouldn't they have to wash and dry it after every use?
They don't say how flexible it is. You might be able to wazz standing up, but could you write your name in the snow?
Sounds like a pain in the arse to me. You'll be wanting the vote next.
How the hell did you find these?
The fake foreskin is creepy.
I could name a few family members who I'd like to get in the form of a butt plug!!!
I'll have to place my order early.
Love the P-mate. You can have unisex toilets and check out the guys size before you sleep with him!
lambent...it is a disposable product. As for flexibility, I doubt you could write your name in the snow in it. Frankly, I have no idea what the point of the P-Mate is. I suppose it might be for those hygiene freaks who won't sit on a public toilet and would rather pee through a paper cone.
anon dirty...this is a product that definately has a market in America where, I think, practically everyone has been snipped. I read about a bunch of, er, very persistent people who attached weights to the remains of their circumsised foreskins for years in order to grow them back, because they felt they were missing out on having a foreskin. This product is to save them the agony.
Janet....Good idea! This is a wonderful and unique gift that will eventually become a family heirloom and could be passed on from generation to generation.
Vi...thanks for enlightening me. Yes, this is definately the one purpose that the P-Mate would be perfect for!
p-mate looks like it would give women the willies
har har
you know that fake penis for peeing thing might be good, but who wants to put it back in their purse when they are done with it!
It's true! I've always wanted to pee standing up!
However, that's the only thing about being a man that I've ever truly envied.
At rock festivals, and no doubt other large gatherings of humanity the queue for the ladies facilities is always longer than that for the males. At Leeds Weekend last year there were free paper versions of the p-mate available to make it feasible for the braver ladies to join the boys and have a briefer wait.
I didn't see anyone using them though.
As for a slip-on foreskin...... why on earth would I want one of those? My cock is perfect as it is surely?
I'm loving the butt plug...I can think of a couple of people I'd like to experiment on :D
i thought that george w bush thingy was prince charles!
OK. I may need to get the dubya butplug just to piss off my texan in-laws.
Just found you...fantastic blog.
I think you need some combination choices for the climax poll.
take care-
~Mitch
What Freddy said. The P Mate is a great idea for music festivals.
Also, is it wrong of me to want to use one so that I can pee like a woman peeing like a man?
Alan Cumming. Yum.
P-mate. Freaky.
Fake foreskin. I have no words.
the GW Butt plug is so special!!
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