It's a bit of a mystery why so many women - myself included - project romantic fantasies onto men, and then complain when reality bites them in the butt. Case in point, my friend Sabine, who, at thirty-four, is probably old enough to know better. Just a few weeks ago she was gushing about Klaus, her forty-two year old boyfriend, how, "We are so in love, and you know how badly I want a baby... well, Klaus has had a vasectomy (he has three kids back in Germany), but ....guess what! He has two litres of frozen sperm in Germany, and says he definitely wants to have a baby with me. So all we'll have to do is fly to Germany, defrost some sperm, and voila, I will be knocked up. Doesn't he sound wonderful? Plus he has so much money..."
Well, I did feel a little dubious about that sperm story, but kept my mouth shut for once. And then, yesterday, she phones to say that the bubble has burst with Klaus. They haven't exactly split up yet, because he is currently away on business in Hong Kong, but they did have a phone conversation along the lines of:
Sabine: "I was thinking about your frozen sperm the other day. Maybe we could go defrost some when you get back?"
Klaus, laughing hysterically: "You didn't actually believe that I had some frozen sperm, did you?"
Sabine: "Of course I did. I've told everyone about it."
Klaus: "Oh Sabine! I thought you knew that was just a joke."
I suppose you're wondering why she didn't dump him for leading her on and indulging her baby fantasies? Well, that's the million dollar question, or rather, the thirty thousand dollar question. Well, you see, when he first moved to Baltimore a year ago, for some reason he didn't have a work visa and couldn't get a driver's license, so bought this fabulous Jeep in her name (paying for the whole thing outright), and whenever he is out of town, she drives it about and drives us about to clubs etc. (So thanks for that Klaus, it's a very nice car and gets us about in style). Right now he is in Hong Kong and she has the car and I don't think she wants to give it up, because her car is bust.
Which brings me to my point. Why did Klaus lie to her? Men, eh, all they want is sex. Okay, but why couldn't he have been honest and said, "I see you as a convenient screw until something better comes along," instead of indulging her baby fantasies with some half baked lie about frozen sperm?
Should one just assume that everything men say is bullshit? I just thank God I'm no longer on the dating scene.
Still, maybe Sabine will have the last laugh. Not that the frozen sperm lie is worth thirty thousand dollars worth of revenge, but if I were Sabine, maybe I'd just drive off with that car as a little parting gift.
Women, eh, all they want is a man's money, and, of course, his biological material.
The Lounge. Blogging Break.
15 hours ago