The E-Spot is a column where I give the lovelorn advice. Today, get your tissues out for a lovely guy with a sad dilemma.
By the way, this is a made up letter, a spoof as it were, although I did get one in a similar vein the other day. What I want to know is what would you reply if you got a letter like this and you were a renowned agony aunt like myself?
I have been going out with a lovely girl for nearly six months now. She is an awesome cook, has a knockout figure and also gives great head. So what's the problem, Emma? Well, I am not all that selfish and I want to give her an orgasm but whatever I try she just stares at the ceiling. All I am doing is the stuff they do in porn films. I cum on her tits and she does not even get excited. I have done her anally a lot but she just says it is boring. I do not know what to do. In these films those girls just get so excited sucking on a penis but my girlfriend does not seem to get off on it, and seems to be doing it just to please me. What should I do? Should I dump her?
Dear Porn Aficionado,
If only all men were as thoughtful and considerate as you. She does sound like a bit of a hopeless case, but fear not, brainwashing is always an option. Just play her the video below a couple of dozen times a day, and I think that eventually these facts about what sex is really about will penetrate her skull. But if in the end she doesn't show any enthusiasm for your perfectly formed member, then by all means give her the old heave ho.
Best of luck,
Click Here for more great videos and pictures!
And for the rest of you out there, feel free to give Porn Aficionado more advice about how to coax his lady love out of her frigid state. Also, do please send your problems to firstname.lastname@example.org and I promise to sort you out (let me know if you want your identity kept confidential).
Ham and cheese croquettes
20 hours ago