The other day I said to my husband:
"I think I'm pregnant." There had been a condom malfunction incident a couple of weeks ago, but we'd been trying to put it out of our minds.
And he kind of went green, and we sat down on the sofa and stared into the distance. I sensed that he was trying to find the silver lining in the cloud. I know I was.
I laughed, a little hysterically. "I mean, I hope to God, I'm not."
"Yeah, so do I, because you really couldn't cope with having another kid."
"You're right," I said (we have two). "Let's hope I'm not."
And yes, thank God, it now turns out that I'm not pregnant, and now it's time to get serious. No more playing Russian Roulette with condoms that burst. It's time to get my tubes tied and put an end to the possibility of having more kids.
Actually, I think he's going to get a vasectomy too. Although maybe the doctor will refuse to do it because he is only twenty-eight! No matter...if John does want to remarry I believe vasectomies are reversible.
There is just absolutely no way I could be pregnant, because after that ohmygodcouldibeohfuck incident I know that I really don't want to be pregnant. It's just so weird being an animal (like we humans are) and a slave to instinct. When I see friends' babies I just feel all gushy and warm. Everything about a baby is so totally - perfect - I suppose it's sad that I will never have one again. But not that big a deal. I mean, I can still hug other people's babies. Smell other people's babies. What do they put in babies? They're like a drug. God, the small of babies...it's so good.
See, I kind of want one, I'll always want one, being an animal and all, I'm just going to make sure I don't ever have one.
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17 comments:
Yes the smell of babies makes my uterus ache.
Congrats. Are you sure the doctor won't refuse you too though?
I love the smell of babies too, even though I don't like them much. It's like cake-mix. Baby cake-mix.
Buy a doll and smother it in Johnsons talcum powder, it smells like baby but doesn't stink of shit ten minutes later!
I had my tubes tied last year, best thing ever in terms of worry free shags!
I was snipped about 1 year after Peanut was born. It's a lot less invasive than your procedure and Mrs Joe felt that after two kids it was my turn to be on my back with someone poking around that area.
Can a doctor really refuse anyone? No matter of age.
I can maybe see them asking why and perhaps cautioning them but not having the right NOT TO!
Myself and my hubby have been in debates with ourselves over to have, or not to have... I'm just 28, and he's almost 26... we have two. 8yr old (previous relationship) and our almost 3yr old. I had said if I have three, I want the last 2 close together... well shit, the little guy is almost 3... but I'm not ready and I don't know if I'll ever be.
This is one tough decission, but for now... no more.
The smell, the sounds and the innocence of a child... mmm, I could devour them!
We were both snipped years ago when we decided we didn't want kids. Vasectomy is indeed a lot less invasive and takes 10 minutes; tying your tubes is a bigger job surgically even by laparoscopy, but the results are instant. The downsides of vasectomy are that (a) a very high percentage of men get the wound in the scrotum infected, which is a right royal pain and (b) it takes a couple of semen tests to ensure he's clear of sperm, which often takes 3 months -- but then you do get the fun of trying to wank into a test tube! Think about getting the job done privately (we used Marie Stopes in London for both of us); it is so simple it shouldn't be hugely expensive.
I got a vasectomy when I was 26. (18 years ago). It was the only real option since a tubal ligation is major surgery. It was free as I was in the military at the time. Two 1 cm incisions, no stitches - butterfly bandaids - and it was all over. no complications, just some soreness for a few days.
No doc is ever snipping at my wedding tackle, I'd rather run the gauntlet of broken condoms!
Get the tinsnips out and give the boy a trim too! My old BF had his clipped when he was 23. He knew he never wanted to be a father to anyone. Besides - this isn't about him wanting to have kids with someone else - it'a bout him wanting to have kids with YOU.
a wise decision i believe.
i do like babies but after a short period of time I am not that into them... i am ready to hand them back to their moms. especially when they need a change.
jules...oh God, I feel the same. I need to get snipped pronto.
annie...I didn't think of that. But I'm hoping at 36 I'm old enough.
fussy bitch...brilliant idea!
above average joe....I just feel we should both get it done, share the pain etc.
ice...I have heard of doctors refusing people because they are too young which seems a bit daft - because they are being responsible - but there you go.
kcm...Actually I think we can get it free on our medical insurance (we are in the US).
Bob...Interesting that you knew your own mind at such a young age...not sure if you had had kids already or not.
midnight...hmm, I hope with that attitude you do not have lots of little midnights running around that you do not YET know about.
broadsheet...I suppose my husband must know his own mind. He was crazy to have two kids before the age of 25 and now he probably knows enough is enough!
ecdysis...I just love babies even when they do stinky diapers. It's so wierd, since older kids drive me ballistic.
Vasectomy is a much better option than tubal ligation. Quick and easy is the way to go, I reckon.
A blog I used to play at had the question posed... TO have the "V" or not to have the "V"...
and what I gathered from one persons opinion which I've now grown very fond of, myself... is this.
We get pregnant... have 9 months of pregnancy... (weight gain, heartburn, doctor visit after doctor visit, poking and proding around, sore back, legs and feet, sleepless nights etc etc) and then we still have birth to look forward to... so yeah, after that little love child rips us a new one and we're stitched from cooter to asshole and can go home... we still have breast feeding to get the hang of, middle of the night shits and feedings... gas and all that fun stuff...
Anyways, basic point is... we go through the birth which is a pretty big deal, so the man can now take the heat off us and tie themselves and let us leave our bodies be in peace. It's fair!!! lol
Hey, as much as I just concentrated on the not so fun stuff about being the mommy... I still love it, and even the birth was kinda fun... for me...(10 hours labour between 2 kids... one 6 hours, one 4... I'm just lucky so it was no sweat)
I can shoot 'em out like a fucking football apparently :)
LOL
Occasionally I get the baby fever, like last week when I saw this little pink baseball mitt for a lil' girl. But getting pregnant so I can buy a pink baseball mitt would just be crazy ... throw in some tiny shoes and you might just have it right, tho.
we had had two kids - one of each - and knew we didn't want any more. The kids were 2 and 3 at the time I got snipped. I couldn't justify putting my wife through major surgery when all it was for me was a simple out-patient procedure.
I'm 27 and have been debating this for a while. It's my wife that thinks I shouldn't do it, whereas I want to get it done - we have two kids already.
And I agree with what the guy said up there - it's a much smaller procedure than for a woman to get the equivalent done. My mother was laid up for nearly two months when she had it done.
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