One day this kind of equality will be attainable, but for now, it's still just a dream for us ladies. So, starting today, I'm going to try to redress the balance with some photos of naked French studs who are featured in a rugby calendar, if you're still scratching your head, wondering what to get your mum for Mother's Day.
I've had quite a few fantasies about these hunks already this morning. But the fantasies haven't been going too well, and reality keeps biting me in the arse:
Fantasy 1: Menage a trois
Me: Okay now, this is what I'm thinking. How about you two being two halves of the baguette, me being the jambon in the middle? Does that appeal?
Jacques: But I am Jewish, I do not eat ze pork.
Me: Okay, I'll be the flipping beef, what's the difference?
Jean-Marc: I am ze vegetarian. I do not eat ze meat.
Me: Okay, wrong analogy. Why don't we stop talking about sandwich fillings and get busy? (starts laughing hysterically) Next you'll be telling me you're gay!
Jean-Marc & Jacques: We are.
Me: Oh *&%$!
Fantasy 2: Where'd the soap go?
Me: So you're rugby players? Yes, I am very interested in rugby as it happens. How about I pop in the shower with you and soap you up while we talk? One thing that's always puzzled me is the Offside Rule. What is that? Oh, that's football is it? All right, don't blow a fuse, I was only asking. Does that feel nice, all those warm soapy bubbles I'm rubbing into your....What do you mean have I actually ever watched a rugby game? 'Course I have. Well no, not all the way through. I did watch five minutes of one once on the telly while I was trying to get to sleep. Worked a treat. Hey, who switched on the cold tap? Where are you going. Oh *&%$!
Fantasy 3: Nice Pole
Me: Nice pole you have there.
French lad: rolls eyes and walks off.
Me: Oh *%$#!
Ah bugger it, maybe you ladies will have better luck with your fantasies over these saucy frogs...go check out the calendar. I think you'll agree they are very nice lads. Yes, very very nice.
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29 comments:
Holy crap. I don't have a clue what you typed here...BUT...those pictures are wonderful!!!!
Fill yer boots gels. There's more here.
It's a good job this is blatant abuse of FRENCHMEN. I might have had to start a masculineist movement and chain myself to railings and stuff.
You do have offside in rugby. It's mostly when a player is further up the pitch than the ball.
I always love the term "frogs".
Off subject: please tell me about your youngest daughter's name. Was there a joke I missed early on?
They look gay to me, especially those two in the shower. Looks like they're having just a leeeeee-tle too much fun together.
janet...these photos are just so unbelievable...the guys just look so relaxed and cool, only the French could pull off having their tackle hanging out and looking so nonchalent about it.
daphne...thank you so much for introducing me to these awesome hunks.
midnight....ooh, I wouldn't mind abusing those Frenchmen, or for that matter, them abusing me.
yorksdevil...yeah, my husband just pointed that out! Sorry, the joke backfires if you know anything about rugby, which of course, I don't!
ella...I don't put my youngest daughter's real name on the blog. Her nickname is Sausage though. In England a lot of people call little kids 'Little Sausage' God knows why.
Pilar...nah, they're not gay, just continental. Or at least, that's my story and I'm sticking to it.
They are so blatantly gay.
You fancying them is the same as a bloke fancying a bird with a shaved head, pierced nose, fat and wearing cherry-red DM's.
I can understand why you might fancy them, but you've got to admit, that one on the left has a really small cock.
Hmm. It is strange to see blokes coupled up in these situations, especially the bed shot.
English rugby calenders know how to do it for the girls. Fwengebola sent me one that's kept me happy all year and it's only one fella a month!
How much do they cost because I need at least two! Nice photos...
emma please feel free to " to stare at my crotch anywhere we meet and do especially feel free to rub yourself against me moaning, "Anyone ever tell you you have a lovely pair of nuts?" You wouldn't be the first. Middy gets it lots too I believe.
Men are used as sexual objects though. We don't advertise tampax, for obvious reasons, although as a modern man I have bought sanitary products for my wife. But apparently they aren't a 'real' present. (this joke borrowed and told badly but based on an original by Jimmy Carr).
But there is a fair bit of sexual objectivising about - Daniel Craig's chest is well featured on the Bond adverts, the whole Beckham brand is all about sex.
Meantime - the fantasies. Maybe if you strip (no pun) away the idea that these guys are rugby players...
make them firemen, or maybe washing machine repairmen?
enjoy!!!
i wouldn't think they're gay, as someone suggested. these guys are rugby players yeah?
which translates to the toughest guys on the planet.
which explains to me why the one on the left in the first photo, and the one in the last photo are ugly! - good bodies, but ugly
Oh but Kiki, I usually love ugly men with good bodies! They're much more interesting to look at than pretty-all-over boys.
troika..they aren't gay, you're just jealous because you don't have a body like that! And I don't know how you can judge whether that guy's cock is small if it's not even erect.
fussy bitch..."It is strange to see blokes coupled up in these situations, especially the bed shot." I wouldn't call it strange, more like my idea of heaven, if i was the ham in the sandwich etc etc.
bunny chang...I believe you can get the calendars on amazon.com! I'm getting one.
freddy...actually isn't there an urban myth about gays who do excessive amounts of anal having to put a tampax up their arse to stop the shit coming out...whether that's true or not I've never (thank God) found out....
as for the sexual objectification of men, David Beckham is just too much of a metrosexual and most male models in adverts are just too effeminate for girls to really get sweaty over them...whereas these guys are mostly masculine with a dash of feminine and very hot.
And yes, I would love to get my hands on your nuts, as long as they're dry roasted ;)
Kiki...If the two you mention are ugly in your opinion (I don't think they are) I don't care, their faces are real sexy. I can't really see how you can say they're ugly though. It all depends on your idea of male beauty, I suppose. I agree with Fussy Bitch, the ones that aren't blandly good looking are often the sexiest. Like, someone like David Hasselhoff (your hero keith?) is considered good looking but I'd rather eat rancid cheese than screw him.
the two in the shower look a little too candid.. looks more like a blackmail shot than a calendar shot..
Well, C. and I have found that MFM works quite well, and I have no problems sharing her with another lover. We'll see how the FMF thing works at some point (our trios in the past with other women were always MFF).
These chaps play for Stade Francais I believe. Stade seem to have a thing about homo eroticism, they play in bright pink shirts and do this calendar every year. I watched them play a few years ago and whilst hammered on Desperados bought said calendar from a stunningly beautiful salesgirl as a present for my wife ( She always gets cruddy pressies from rugby trips, all down to shopping when sloshed) When she opened it we were both rather shocked to find out it was 'tackle out'. Needless to say it didn't get put up in the kitchen. Oh, and there's nothing gay about them in any sense of the word, they're teak
lol! Emma! Keep at it... you may luck out one of these days...
For me, I've come to the point where I insist the man open his mouth and spew at least some sense before I can find him hot. Otherwise it's a complete turn-off. That happen to you ever or am I the only one afflicted with such limiting issues?
kimba....they look a bit guilty, they've probably been up to something naughty ;)
tom paine...will be intrigued to hear how you get on with your next threesome. Whoever said 'three's a crowd' didn't have a clue what they were talking about. I go by the adage 'the more the merrier!'
gumpher...yeah, that's the problem - if i buy the calendar I won't be able to hang it up in public. Damn.
a liquid blue...Honestly, yes it is a turn off when they look good and when they open their mouth they are as thick as two short planks. I've always wondered how men can go out with bimbos. What do you say to them in between making beautiful music to them?
@Emma: I personally aim for activities that require them to keep their gob shut. Like speed biking and movies ;0)
Hot Hot, I might post guys on CBW!
well, i say they one in the last pic is plain bland (facially, they all have tremendous bodies) and the one in the first pic looks like he's straight off the island of mikanos, which isn't my thing.
By all means, campaign for as many gratuitous crotch shots of men as you want. Just don't let them take away all those lovely gratuitous crotch shots of women!
you crack me up, you crazy lady ... jambon indeed.
LOVE the calendar and the idea that my current regular rubbing against a boys balls and declaring them "nice nuts" is helping feminism. Um, yeah, thats why i do it.
No wonder Mommy has a headache.
Thanks for this Emma. I mean it. HOT HOT HOT
LOL @ Nice Pole!
You're too funny.
Hey, can I use your pole pic on my nekkid blog? ... I'll say where it came from of course... one for the ladies... they'll love it!
ice...yeah use the pole picture or
whatever you like from my blog. There are more french hunks here:
http://3couleurs.blogspot.com/2006/09/dieux-du-stade-2007.html
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