Tuesday, August 28, 2007
First day of school, and once again I am left thinking, "Are American parents certifiable?"
A mother who has a first grader told me, "Did you know that the public middle school is not running buses to my area, so my daughter is going to have to walk to school in sixth grade. She's going to have to cross York Road all by herself!"
I said, "Excuse me madam, but are you on crack?" No, I didn't, but I rolled my eyes, I couldn't help it. I was walking to school on my own, crossing at least four main roads, at age eight, as was everyone else. And she was worried about her daughter crossing a not particularly busy road at AGE ELEVEN.
"Surely she'll be able to cross the road on her her own by then," I ventured.
"But I don't want her crossing the road. I don't want her crossing any road by herself!" she snapped back.
I chuckled to myself, wondering where this mother's overprotective streak would end. Would she, for example, insist on sitting by the bed the first time her daughter had intercourse?
"Good work, Paul," she'd say to the boyfriend. "You've done some excellent clitoral stimulation, but you need to pay a little more attention to Clare's breasts. Good! Work your tongue around her nipples in a circular motion. Yes, I think she's almost ready for penetration now. Wait, I'm going to get my camcorder out to record my little girl's journey into womanhood. Okay now Paul, I think we're ready. Not so fast! Take it easy. There you go. Everything okay, Clare? Good ...I'm getting some lovely shots. Oh gosh Clare, I think I'm tearing up ...."
Not so far fetched, methinks?