Now, the first time I didn't realize I had my lights on (it was daytime), and I also didn't know that leaving your lights on for an hour kills the battery (in my defence I have only had a licence for four years).
The second time my daughter Sausage left the interior reading light on.
The third time I left the lights on but had no recollection of doing so.
My husband said if it happens again he is taking the car and leaving me the bike, which I wouldn't actually mind, but what would I do with the kids? (I know, strap them to the back of the bike). In any case, I reckon I'm going to have to be less forgetful because I kind of need the car to get around.
You may be wondering where I am going with all this, and it is here: I have recently realized that if I cannot remember to check whether the lights are on before I get out of the car I will never be able to be in a polyamorous relationship.
For a while there I was decrying the claustrophobia of monogamy, and then a lightbulb went off in my head: you do not have the organizational skills to juggle multiple partners!
Rita, Sue and Bob Too, a film about a married man carrying on with two schoolgirls. This film is ace but will put you off polyamory for life.
I remember at university being part of a polyamorous relationship with two guys and actually the triangle relationship worked quite well for a while. Only that ended when one of the guys became crazily jealous of the other one. Even so, I have often been in friendships where me and two guys were close and would hang out together. It is less intense than being one on one. I think I would have liked to have been Liza Minelli in Cabaret in that love triangle with those two guys (below).
Anyway, regarding multiple partnerships, I read this article the other day about a social club where people of polyamorous persuasions gather in Manhattan. One woman said it gave her the ability to road test a lot of men at once, therefore taking off the pressure to find Mr Right, the one she was going to settle down and have kids with. Someone else said they divided their partners into primary, secondary and tertiary groupings.
Firstly, can you imagine saying to your partners:
"You are my primary relationship, you are my number two and you are my number three, for when the other two aren't available and I'm feeling as horny as a dog on heat."
Secondly, I can't imagine getting everyone's personal histories straight. I can't remember to turn my car lights off, remember! And can you imagine trying to schedule them all? It would be like a full time job. Double the orgasms but double the work, I reckon.
Thirdly, I have realized I don't want to be anyone's number two, three, four, five or six. I want to be someone's number one and I don't want them having a number two either.
I know polyamory works for some, but I have realized it will never work for me, even though the idea of messing around with a lot of sexy singles has its appeal.
For now, I am in a very good state. I am simply so happy it is getting ridiculous. Yes, there was some rather fabulous sex the other night. But it is also, the Fall weather. It is so unbelievably beautiful here. Oh God what am I going to do if I become too content. What will I do if I am so happy that I have nothing to blog about?
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36 comments:
Polygamy works when the females don't get too emotionally involved with the male as use him as a provider and sperm bank. As for polyandry, I expect the same principle applies in reverse (i.e. the males use the female as a sex machine). I wouldn't recommend either option for humans.
$35.77 buys you one of these. Makes life a lot easier.
Will that battery charger Cham is suggesting, work to help you keep the car? Or juggle mulilple men?
It is all part of the human condition. The struggle to find answers to the questions — and the very fact that we can conceive them and ask them — is what defines the human.
In a metaphysical sense, one can describe the joy, terror and other feelings or emotions associated with being and existence. Humans, to an apparently superlative degree amongst all living things, are aware of the passage of time, can remember the past (such as turning off of car headlights) and imagine the future, and are intimately aware of their own mortality. Only human beings are known to ask themselves questions relating to the purpose of life beyond the base need for survival, or the nature of existence beyond that which is empirically apparent.
I tend to plump for Existentialism I prefer the idea that individuals create the meanings and essence of their own lives. Existentialism stresses that people are entirely free and therefore responsible for what they make of themselves. However with this responsibility comes a profound anguish or dread. More traditional philosophies, such as rationalism and empiricism, seek to discover an ultimate order in metaphysical principles or in the structure of the observed world, and therefore universal meaning.
It then follows that existentialism tends to view human beings as subjects in an indifferent, objective, often ambiguous, and "absurd" universe, in which meaning is not provided by the natural order, but rather can be created, however provisionally and unstably, by human beings' actions and interpretations. In Camus’ “The Myth of Sisyphus” he explains that the absurd is born out of the confrontation between human need and want for logic and order and the reality of illogical and random world. He explains thus that absurdity contains in itself man’s rationality.
Sartre believed that people lie to themselves and, underneath these lies, people negate their own being through patterns. Sartre believed that people who cannot embrace their freedom seek to be "looked at," that is, to be made an object of another's subjectivity. This creates a clash of freedoms whereby person A's being (or sense of identity) is controlled by what person B's thoughts about him are.
The individual consciousness is responsible for all the choices it makes, regardless of the consequences. Condemned to be free because man's actions and choices are his and his alone, he is condemned to be responsible for his free choices.
If you get too happy try to remember that ultimately you will in all probability die alone, still wondering if you had made the right choices, and you will never find out. If I were you I would take up exhibitionism.
Sorry about the length of that.
I think the same about affairs- altogether too much of strain on my weekly routine. How can people be bothered? I can barely fit my husband in.
I don't think I have the energy to juggle 2 men at once. One is plenty enough for me. Unless his penis drops off or something.
gorilla bananas.....You are right, as usual. All my group sex shenanigans will stay in my head.
cham...yes, I have bought some jump start cables now. I am almost becoming a responsible adult.
anonymous boxer....if you knew how electric my sexuality was you would not ask the question. I can cause a man to become erect at fifty paces, without use of a jumper cable :P
johnny huxley....you make some very interesting points. Existentialism is a good philosophy although I don't see how one can really practice it when one has to spend most of one's life interracting with social structures. I mean who is really free unless they build themselves a hut in the wood and live off berries? Having kids is wierd too because even if you have lived a life somewhat detached from corporations as I have you are now thrust back into the rigid world of dealing with their school and having to negotiate all the brain washing they are taught.
I wish I didn't ask myself so many questions. Actually I am looking forward to death. As to exhibitionism I have done quite a bit of that, mostly while drunk. You sound like someone it would be fun to get stoned with and talk crap with (I mean that as a compliment)!
misssy m.....I'm with you. I can't organize my own life or maintain my car, how can I possibly juggle multiple lovers?
veronica.....One husband is enough, although, as you say, what if his penis fell off? Then maybe I would consider taking a lover ;)
hahahah this was a wonderful post and I laughed at the photo of the guy sandwiched between two women. Ole!
Oh you poor thing with having to remembe to turn off the car lights. Luckily my car beeps like a bitch and tells me, other wise I would be breaking down all over the joint.
"I can barely fit my husband in."
Misssy M
This made me stop and ponder...
"As to exhibitionism I have done quite a bit of that, mostly while drunk."
I decided it had all got too much one evening at a party, and staggered off to a darkened room with someone to hold my hand should I awake frightened in a new place.
Sometime after three in the morning I awoke needing to pee. I could hear that the party was still going strong, and I had to walk through the living room of the apartment in order to get to the bathroom, so I had the presence of mind to throw a sheet around myself, toga fashion... some of you are ahead of me I think. What I achieved was to drape the sheet cloak like around my shoulders... then headed into the throng. I even stayed up for a while after my pee to chat. Not one of the fuckers had the decency to bring my dishabille to my notice... until the next morning.
I too thought about the double entendre qualities of my comment ...the second after I had pressed the "publish comment" button.
Still, Julian Clary would be proud.
I'm surprised your car doesn't have a pinger that sounds if you've left the light on. Unless you meant the internal light.
It's a shame that cars aren't fitted with low battery volt protection like trains are.
As for polymory ... why is porn with two guys and a woman so hot ? I've never worked that one out.
hey you happy girl, don't even question it, just sit back and enjoy, I doubt it will last long, life's like that and anyhow, what's wrong with a little peace now and then, your blog isn't suffering at all dear...
and I know you're an oldie, allegedly, but get on to facebook, way cooler than myspace, but just as ridiculous too
X
you are lucky I have no social life LOL :)
Electro! That makes me feel like some kind of Marvel Comic type Übermensch.
The reason why two is hot is because I have yet met the woman that can lick your ass and suck your johnson at the same time; come to think about it finding any woman to lick your ass at any time is not so easy...
Too much information? Maybe I had better go and get a cup of tea.
johnny huxley...
I can barely fit my husband in
It's not misssy m's fault her husband is hung like a horse!
Hey Johnny, you seem like you are the life and soul of the party. If you have a beautiful penis, why not show it off while wearing a sheet/toga?
Johnny Huxley you go off and have a cup of tea then relax while your cat licks your ass and your dog your johnson :P
Electro-Kevin.....
of course I have a pinger when the lights are left on but I suppose I didn't realize it made a noise when the lights are left on. I am not exactly interested in cars and wish I had a chauffeur.
As for why are threesomes MFM hot.....WHAT KIND OF A QUESTION IS THAT?????????????????
Maybe you have to be a woman who has been with two men at the same time to figure that out. Like what Johnny H said, two can lick/fuck you at the same time. Or so I've heard....er....not that I have ever done anything like that of course [cough]
peach....myspace is a scary space.So far I have only had lots of ugly old codgers wanting to be my friend. Thanks but no thanks! I'm on facebook now, far more civilized.
kira...thanks you saved my life and possibly my marriage :P
You misunderstood me, Emmak.
I think MFM looks hot - WHY do I think this ?
I wouldn't worry about being overly content. There's always something that can rattle your cage, no matter how insignificant, it'll be there
I'm thinking the next time your battery goes dead it would be great if the car is "male". I think Johnny liked your response to my comment?
Awww Rita, Sue and Bob Too... That movie rocks!!!
But what does it say about you if you can never even find the car keys to begin with? My motor would be running alright if I could just find the sodding car keys.
OK, allow me to get a little Deconstructionist here, as I also did on Luka's blog.
I like shacking up with multiple partners. I like the idea of an open partnership, and will probably insist on one should I ever "settle down." But polyamory isn't for me, because I think to do it right you have to like monogamy.
Yeah, that sounds bass-ackwards. But what I mean is, you have to like the idea of "being in a relationship" so much that you're willing to apply it to more than one partner. You have to like having a husband AND a boyfriend AND a girlfriend, for example.
I'm not exactly a commitmentphobe, but I would say I prefer being single to being in a relationship. They're a lot of work, and unless someone really knocks my knickers off, I'm probably not going to jump into a serious emotional entanglement.
So... yeah. I'm not poly either.
Ooh, there's a lot of this poly talk about today! If we could just find a way to remove the capacity for jealousy, I think it's the way forward, I really do. As it is, I turn into the Evil Queen from Snow White if my beloved so much as offers the Ferrero Rocher to anyone other than me first, so it's unlikely to be a lifestyle choice I can work with.
I agree with you, no way could I be anyones no 2 or 3.
I'm too greedy.
"Also, A WARNING ...please don't trust that johnny huxley bloke. He is currently all over the blog of every good looking lady in the blogosphere. Oh yes, he is charming, oh yes, he is a master at the art of oratory and is no doubt a cunning linguist, but can we trust this darstardly cad who seeps like a virus through the blogosphere, I think not ? :P"
I must say I am a little hurt by your comment.
Johnny Huxley...for crying out loud....I was only messing! I think you're a scream
xxx
... and I thought you'd seen right through my vain posturing.
electro-kevin.....Why is watching MFM hot for a guy/you?... Isn't it something about wanting to be one of the guys and giving the woman the ultimate sexual experience?
Oh no... that's not the ultimate experience. You need to buy my patented 'The Zippa'.
It's an ergonomic design that screws onto the end of any high pressure hose.*
* Not suitable for women that have not had children.
Johnny Huxley is a complete bastard. He purports to have commented on the sites of all the goodlooking ladies and then doesnt visit my blog!
*goes off and sobs into her cocoa*
I couldnt do polyamory. As Ive mentioned before, all the blokes with whom Ive been involved seem to have been called by the same two names. There is obviously a reason for this.
johnny huxley...will you please go over to cake's blog and charm her out of her panties??
OMG, it gets worse, now Im getting a sympathy comment!
I once tried juggling two women. I realized that I clearly don't have it in me.
Polyamory works no better nor worse than monogamy, which is a total cock-up for some and the source of lifelong bliss for others. Your mileage may vary. What often surprises me is how fearful "straights" are at the prospect of something different. A "Montel" show on polyamory some time back, for example, had the guests hooted down by the hostile audience, though probably many of them were thinking in their heads "cool, I wish I had the nerve to be like them."
Polyamory is neither any better nor any worse than monogamy: it simply is another alternative available to those it suits.
How do you think credit crunch affected porn?
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interracial sex
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