Relight My Fire

I wrote an email to one of my oldest friends, Fiona, the other day, who I met on the first day of University. We've been through thick. We've been through thin. We've held each other's hair back while we barfed after a bender, I helped her though an affair with a married man, a work affair that backfired when the guy kept demonstrating the noises she made during orgasm (without being asked to) in the tearoom where they both worked, and she saw me through an obsessive affair with a novelist and a mixed bag of nutcases. We also shared a flat in London and had quite a laugh.

Back in the early nineties, she was quite into Take That. Now, I thought they were pretty naff back then. But fifteen years on, well, for some unknown reason, they now seem quite cool. Or maybe it's simply that I have recently developed this lust for buff young men. Of course, Take That really aren't that young any more. But the point is this: Fiona, who still lives in England, failed to inform me that Take That had reformed and that they were touring. And now I'm not at all sure we are still friends. See email exchange below:

Dear Fiona,

John (my husband) just said to me yesterday, "Did you know Take That have reformed?" I thought he was yanking my chain. I said, "Don't be daft. If they had, Fiona would have told me and we'd have gotten tickets."


Investigating this awesome news I fear I am about two years too late.

But do you know if they are still touring and when we can go and see them as middle aged hags? I am serious, I would like to go. Who cares if Robbie is too proud to be involved with Gary Songs?

Please look into this, it is very important.

She replied:

I fear I have been hideously remiss in not telling you about this as I work on the Take That website. Yes, 'tis true. They have reformed and had Number Ones with new songs, won a Brit award and done/are doing monster tours etc.

However, in my defence, it is pretty pointless trying to get tickets - the most recent lot sold out in about 1.2 seconds. Seriously, I've had hundreds, nay thousands, of emails from sad mums like us saying they were on the phone for eight hours trying to get through to ticket hotlines to no avail. Also, loads paying £400 for tickets on Ebay only to find it's a con (come on ladies, who knew?!) I suspect the only way you could possibly swing it is to buy tickets for a foreign gig, although this tour is also sold out.

It seems we must dream on for a while but why not treat yourself to the new album (Beautiful World) for Xmas - they've still got it you know!

Fiona
x


Dear Fiona

I will treat myself to the album.

As for getting tickets, couldn't you sleep with Gary Songs, maybe he has a MILF fetish?? ;)

WE WILL MAKE THIS DREAM REALITY

Love
Emma
xxx

Now I find myself feeling like I really have to have those Take That tickets. Any (legal) ideas?