Today, my daughter Scarlett handed me a note which said, ‘I want more chores.’ Not wanting to deprive her of this pleasure, I gave her one of those spray cleaners and a scrubbing sponge and let her start cleaning the toilet, then the bathroom. Funnily enough, her sister Sausage and two friends who were visiting got jealous and wanted to clean too. So I designated one girl as Spray Girl, and they sprayed and scrubbed the kitchen, which was in a pretty bad state, while I ‘supervised.’
Later I showed Scarlett a rather silly book I was reading called ‘What Makes Woman Happy?’ by Fay Weldon and Scarlett replied, “Cleaning!” proof, if proof is needed that a passion for cleaning is born not made, since I am not a person who is neat, tidy or especially houseproud. But it was good to get into cleaning – or rather to let the Under Sevens' Cleaning Crew tackle my house – seeing as my in-laws arrive on Friday (they will look after the kids while we are in Madras) and it is embarrassing in front of my mother in law to look like a total slob.
Sometimes I enjoy looking at properties in the U.K. and seeing what I could afford. Imagine my glee, then, on discovering this exquisite property for only £30,000!!
It's advantages are manifold:
1. Cozy studio apartment. Would suit person with overactive bladder.
2. In the midst of a bustling city environment.
3. Includes a fully working toilet.
4. Easy access to public transport.
And yes, it may be a toilet cubicle at the Maybury Roundabout, Edinburgh....
but it is still a bargain! A spokesman for estate agents Graham and Sibbald, attempting to be funny no doubt, admitted: "We hope to be bogged down with inquiries."
My opinion is that this is a cozy but bijou property and if I don't end up snapping it up, I'd like to suggest that it would make a great holiday home for Gordon Brown?
Monday, January 21, 2008
Many Little Hands Make Light Work
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
25 comments:
When your crew are growing a bit older...there will circumstances when they say: do it yourself mum, i am going out with friends! But my mum was able to make me do some cleaning by offering me money! Child labour!
As for property, you might like to add: low maintenance yard.
"It looks like a wanking shed to me," says my friend Ernesto Bongodrum (a wanker).
Very good organizational skills, to get the under-seven set on the chores right away!
As to the property, I'd snap it up, if I were you- cuz you know that Gordon will bid the price up fast, if he gets wind of it!
Ah yes that property went up by £10,000 overnight Emma.
British house prices are prohibitive. Young professionals are unable to afford and I don't know that it's doing any of us any good (but for estate agents and the Treasury.)
My brother in-law has swapped an three bed terrace for a 4 bed (4000 sq foot) house in Weyland, Boston USA doing exactly the same job on the same pay. He needs two boilers to keep it warm and is given such large portions in US restaurants that he's put on 20 lbs in the time he's been there.
And our Prime Minister and the BBC keep telling US that we've got to keep cutting back to save the planet ?
At least our tiny houses don't need so much cleaning ;-)
That property is a bargain! You wouldn't even need to leave the house to meet new friends - simply drill a hole in the wall and see who comes.
"Drill a hole in the wall and see who comes"! Lol!!! I saw a photo of that in one of those erotic art coffee table books.
re. the UK property market.
Don't buy the toilet, Emma! The shit is about to hit the fan here, big time! You'll be flushing your money down the drain.
You could buy a 3-bedroom home in a decent neighborhood in Pittsburgh for that price.
spew-it-all....I know it is not politically correct to say so but a lot of kids would benefit from doing some form of work, although obviously not twelve hour shifts in a Reebok factory!
gorilla bananas....Ernesto must have a very lively imagination, because I cannot imagine getting too aroused within a damp concrete edifice.
sailor....I cannot for the life of me understand why the kids found cleaning fun. I must be missing the cleaning gene.
ms robinson....I am so in love with that property, I must snap it up immediately. You are welcome to stay any time. Bring your own sleeping bag.
electro-kevin....you hit the nail on the head. House prices here are so cheap it is laughable. Like, right now I could buy a nice three bed house for $200,000, and okay Baltimore is the equivalent of Norwich but can you get a similar property in Norwich for 100,000 pounds - I think not.
There is something almost sick about it...that the house prices are so cheap. And it is embarassing just how much energy Americans use to heat/air condition their huge homes plus run their SUVs. IT IS TOTALLY SICK. You really are doing something good if you live in a tiny house.
luka....It has so many possibiliies. Maybe I will run it as a bed and breakfast, minus the bed and breakfast.
toby...I don't see why the shit is about to hit the fan. If you are looking to buy in the UK surely you are golden. Yes, like here in the USA many houses will be reposessed BUT surely the price of properties will drop and become more affordable? I am waiting until this property goes down to 20,000 pounds and then I am snapping it up.
blowing shit up with gas...Good point, only, who wants to live in Pittsburgh ;)
Good job assembling the cleaning team . . . very Tom Sawyer-esque of you.
XO
If that exclusive residence is where I think it is, then you'd have a stunning view of a 24-hour Tesco's, a McD's and possibly the local police station :-)
"There is something almost sick about it...that the house prices are so cheap."
I do not understand, would you prefer the house prices were higher? There is considerably more land and more people, which will keep the costs lower than, say - England.
"And it is embarassing just how much energy Americans use to heat/air condition their huge homes plus run their SUVs. IT IS TOTALLY SICK."
I think you'd find Europeans using the same amount of energy, pound for pound, if they weren't taxed to death for it first. Nobody chooses to be either too cold or hot, do they?
jen...If I'd known about the 24 hour Tesco I would already have put an offer on this toilet.
miami minx...
One reason why Europeans use less energy and are more green is to some extent a result of stricter environmental laws in individual European counties, as well as the European Union as a whole. In addition to shaping citizens' behavior, such as limiting what people can throw away,these laws have raised awareness of environmental issues in a way that just hasn't happened in the US.
Since your government has little/no interest in making legislations for Americans to be more energy efficient and only ever tells them to buy consumer rubbish to kick start your wasteful economy, maybe they should simply make houses more expensive. Generally, Americans buy houses which are far larger than they need and consequently, if house prices were dearer it might encourage people to buy the right sized house and use less electricity/gas.
The average American consumes SIX TIMES more energy than the world average. Most Americans have far larger houses than Europeans, consequently they use far more electricity than Europeans.
Emmak, I have come here from Guido, as I was curious to see what sort of idiot would go there and defend Gordon Brown. Whaddya know, I find a putative disciple of Pope AlBore Ist, who while living in the land of the free, wishes it were more like the Trotskyist shithole she comes from.
Great Scott, you must be the only sentient being (if you are) in creation who is crying out for higher house prices! How do you fancy gas at $10 per gal as in the UK? If that excites your green persona go back to the UK before it finally sinks under the weight of crummy debt based on over-inflated property - be my guest. If you had uny upbringing whatsoever you would refrain from making crass comments about how your HOSTS are such SICK over-consumers with their huge SUVs and sit quietly and say how pleased you are to be there - or do the other thing and fuck off home.
You are a total airhead Emma.
.
Emmak, considering that you enjoy the benefits of living in America, I find your use of the term ‘your’ government rather insulting.
In fact, on almost every blog you make derogatory comments about America. Go back to England and see how well you acclimate to living in a astronomically expensive house that you can ill afford to heat properly, and without any police protection for which you’ll have paid through the nose!
If Americans are wasteful, at least they are not living subject to the diktat of the undemocratic European Union!
I would count your blessings - assuming you can count?
that property looks more like a ditch!
Keshi.
Too rich for my blood. Wonder if they'd be willing to rent it out?
Not much of a garden though... but at least with a property like that that you could produce your own gas.
Just have to watch out. You don't want a £30000 investment going down the pan.
It'd be nice to own ones own 'glory hole'.
Oh I'm all for a bit of child domestic labour. It's surely unkind not to - they'd grow up thinking that adult life was all about sitting round having fun whilst everything came to you, and what a shock they'd get one day.
And then they'd probably blame you, and demand the cash for the therapy - get them cleaning, I say!
Forget about the 30K bog. You can get one on ebay for £150, and it's portable, so the roundabouts of urban UK would be your oyster. Luton, Slough, Accrington - oh the lure of the road...
http://tinyurl.com/353rdw
miami minx....
considering that you enjoy the benefits...the only benefits are cheap houses. I pay for my own health insurance thus that is not a benefit. Can't think of any other benefits apart from the weather is better than in UK.
why shouldn't I make disparaging remarks about America? Isn't this a land that prides itself on freedom of speech?
There is a lot wrong with the USA and many Americans I know feel the same way. I am not referring to the people themselves I am talking about the way American society is structured - to be as wasteful and consumerist as possible.
Why are you insulted that I refer to your government, sorry I assumed you were american consequently Bush is your president? My mistake if you're not.
45govt...cheers, that's the first time I've ever been called an airhead!
But Americans(by a huge majority) are SICK over-consumers with huge SUVs - what would you prefer I do -lie?
Yes, life may be tough in the UK but I was trying to point out that at least you are not polluting the environment, maybe you are forced to pay higher gas prices but maybe that FORCES you to drive less. If you think the US is so great why don't you move here? I came here by accident and before I get any more grief I am not taking anyone's job since I don't have a green card.
The crash in the London stock market was caused by lack of confidence in the US economy caused by the subprime fiasco in the USA. What's it got to do with Gordon Brown?
On what points am I wrong?
look forward to another hysterical outburst.
knock through the kitchen and add a conservatory and you'll have Kirstie Allsop salivating over it in less time than you can say 'stocking tops' Emma
Here comes an hysterical outburst.
Firstly I don't live in the UK, so your remarks aren't relevant to me personally, but I am familiar to the point of nausea with the faux bien-pensant Brit expat who feels themselves and their abandoned way of life to be so superior to that of the US. Do you have the slightest clue what has happened to Britain, have you noticed that every man and his dog who can, with the exception of the benefit junkies, is trying to get out, to the US, Canada, Australia, NZ, France, wherever? Are you aware that the price of gas has produced NO ,I repeat NO reduction in the use of the car. Public transport is the worst in the developed world, and no bugger can afford it. How long have you been away in paradise?
Do you have any idea why Americans traditionally drive large cars, that it might have something to do with the (advanced by British standards) culture of long distances, family vacations etc. Brits took the train to Blackpool for a week in a stinking B&B, Americans took the family to Yellowstone in the car. CULTURE Emma, and it takes a while to change. If you believe as you say that "the vast majority of Americans are sick over-consumers with SUVs" and ask if should lie, I say no, but you could as a well-mannered guest just keep your naive theories to youself, i.e STFU. The British are sick over-consumers of alcohol to American eyes, but you would go a long way to find an American resident in the UK impolite enough to pontificate about it in a holier-than-thou manner as you do.
Finally your understanding of economics is pitiful. The US subprime crisis certainly greased the skids, but believe me, and you won't have to take my word for it for long, that Gordon Brown has wrecked the UK economy beyond immediate recovery, with or without the global problems to help. It will be FAR worse in the UK, and for longer than the US, because in typical Trotskyist fashion, the producer has been sacrificed to the voter. Wealth-producing is a bad word again, and it will take many years to correct, as last time. Britain doesn't produce anything nowadays with the apparent exception of self-righteous little fuckwits who can put the rest of the world to rights with their daily editions of Airhead News.
It's best not to fuck with 45Govt Emma, as that is a piece worthy of Stanislav even.
(You're familiar with that name I presume, seeing as you grease your blog wheel on Guido like you do).
45govt...in what way am I a 'guest' in this country? I am the same as any other foreigner who is legally allowed to be here. My husband pays taxes same as everybody else and was headhunted for a job in the US that no American was qualified to do. I suppose you are going to say that only Americans can criticize America?
By the way I am just as critical of Britain ... I don't have some rosy notion of it. I was simply making the point that yes, due to the history of rebuilding the US after WW2 in a way that seemed to make sense at the time, i.e. tons of freeways, no idea of building cities that were integrated with public transport, the US has a massive pollution problem which as you say will take decades to resolve.
miami minx...you are my first flamer (apart from 45govt) and it has been a joy knowing you.
Post a Comment