So my forty-one year old crazy friend Tasha is in an unusual situation in that she has her 21 year old son Jake living her, plus her five year old daughter Angie. So Jake spends most of his time smoking weed and having sex with his girlfriend Charlotte and they just leave all their sex toys lying around his room. Well, Tasha is always warning them to not do this because Angie tends to pick up whatever is lying about. And of course, yesterday, the inevitable happened.
Angie came home from school and Tasha looked through her schoolbag and found a pretty looking purple cock ring with a vibrating bullet on it. And she asked Angie where she'd got it from. Angie just made up some story about Charlotte having given her this pretty bracelet. Apparently Angie had worn the cock ring on her wrist, thinking it was a bracelet, until the teacher had looked at it and told her to take it off.
Tasha said, "I knew I shouldn't make a fuss about it, and in fact I couldn't because I'd have to explain that it was a ring that had been on her brother's cock etc. etc. So I just told Angie not to go into Jake's room again and take any of their toys or bracelets."
So funny! I expect the teacher didn't send a note home about it because it would have been too embarrassing: 'Could you please make sure your daughter doesn't bring any vibrating cock rings to school in future.'
Cracked me up though!
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41 comments:
Man, that's so funny. I've got a vibrating cock ring, which I've worn a total of about 2 times. Every time I cum with it on, I can't even feel myself cumming because it's vibrating so damn much.
Bwahaha! Us Angies like our unusual jewellery from an early age.
Is Tasha ever going to tell Angie the truth about the black latex dummy she sucked till she was 3...
Too funny. Reminds me of the time our daughter found one of my wife's toys- a really nice hand-blown glass, all swirls of color and really gorgeous.
Picks it up, turns to Lynn and says "Oh, mommy, pretty! Can I have it in my room?"
We've since decided that we better remember to put that away immediately after cleaning, and not forget it by the bathroom sink.
Ooops.
Just happened upon your blog while in bloggers land. Man that's funny. Hubs and I keep a bit of the old KY warming gel in our bedside cabinet (sadly I don't really get any more adventurous than that) and I make him put it all the way to the back and underneath stuff just incase one of the kids goes for a wee nosey!!!!
5-year-olds are so sweet. Who'd have thunk her wee wrist was as thick as big brother's dickie? I don't see any harm in children playing with sex toys as long as they don't put them in their mouths.
I thought it was a fruit Polo... (shuffles away with embarrassed cough).
I think it's a very beautiful bracelet :-p x
We went camping with our parents. Told our twins to get the toothpaste out of the toiletry bag and go brush their teeth. They came back in front of everyone with a tube of KY, "What's this, Mummy ?"
Not as embarassing as what THIS chap had to say when his wife asked what sort of day he'd had.
http://youtube.com/watch?v=xtXZSHKj1JM
It's OK - he survived.
Looks like I'm shuffling away with Steve. My money was on the fruit polo, and it was my favourite flavour.
Never felt the need to jab something around my gentleman, but each to their own and all that
That is not a cock ring by the way.
It's a child's teething ring which can be set to vibrate. Withdrawn from circulation because of complaints of brain damage.
And chipped teeth...
rocco tool....they don't do anything for me either. The vibration is okay for five minutes then my clit goes numb. Must be even worse for the bloke!
angela-la-la....they really shouldn't make sex toys so pretty should they?
fingers.....Actually Tasha now used that black latex dummy as a butt plug.
sailor...the problem with hiding sex toys and I've come a cropper a few times on this, is, you have sex, fall asleep, then are woken by a bright eyed bushy tailed youngster waving a dildo in your face and asking, "Mommy what's this?" The answer is usually "Errrrr..."
girl vino....
I keep all the lube on top of the bathroom cabinet. I suppose it is only a matter of time before a kid brushes her teeth with the mint flavored tingling KY. Ha ha!
Gorilla Bananas said...
Who'd have thunk her wee wrist was as thick as big brother's dickie?
Maybe she has a big wrist or he has a small one??
I don't see any harm in children playing with sex toys it's just that teachers tend to not find it quite so funny!
Stevesaid...
I thought it was a fruit Polo...
see...it's a mistake a five year old or any seasoned blogger could make!
Kitty...
I think it's a very beautiful bracelet :-p x
I can see the attraction to a nipper. It's made of that jelly like substance that kids love.
electro-kevin....
They came back in front of everyone with a tube of KY, "What's this, Mummy ?"
looking on the bright side at least they hadn't brushed their teeth with it, ending in a rather embarassing visit to ER and having to ask can kids die from swallowing KY?
Ooh that's a nasty video!
Gumpher...
Never felt the need to jab something around my gentleman, but each to their own and all that
it's something for the ladies but many men find that vibe thing to be a pain in the cock.
electro-kevin....
It's a child's teething ring which can be set to vibrate. Withdrawn from circulation because of complaints of brain damage.
I believe George W gnawed on one as a child.
fingers...
And chipped teeth...
speaking from experience?
That's sick and wrong. But very funny! Would make a lovely story for a speech on her wedding day though.
You can never hide your sex toys thoroughly enough. I thought my mother-in-law had managed to lose a whole pile of my knickers when she was helping out after I had our little boy. It was months before I found them, in the drawer I really wish she hadn't opened...and that I probably should have opened a little bit sooner.
I feel so out of it. I promise you that I would never have guessed what those things were.
Come to think of it, how did the teacher know? Does the whole world except for me and wee Angie know about this stuff?
melissaria....my mum went through my sexy undies drawer while she was here recently. Why, I have no idea. If she was shocked she got what she deserved!
mary witzl....I don't know if I would have guessed what it was from the look of it. But if it was vibrating I would have eventually put two and two together.
I'm thinking of popping in for a latte shortly, Emma. Get your milk-frother out...
fingers.....I am using the milk frother as we speak. You bring the Tim Tams and we'll have an experience we'll never forget.
Funny how no one seems upset about the BULLET!
That's one way to shoot your load.
Would you setlle for a shortbread and a coddle...
OMGOSH now that is a story to tell! Holy Crap.
oh and I want one of those for my collection... ;)~
teacher missed an a good opportunity to teach a valuable lesson. now the kidlet will have to wait until some chick has a sex toy party in the dorm room next door.
We must live a sheltered life here in the colonies.
Until recently I thought rubbers. Where something you put on your feet. So you could tread through puddles . You were not allowed to as a rule. ; )
Is it a real product? Whats it for - do you wear it during sex or is it a masturbatory aid of some description? I am totally puzzled by that device...
Gah. I need to drop in here more often for the sheer edumacation factor. That thing looks like a pacifier to Moi. And I'm with Bananas – still trying to picture the girth on that member . . .
Anyway, so sorry, just now dropped in on my own dumb ass baking blob and realized you posted a frantic request on Monday. Hmmmm . . . now that IS a challenge. Let me see what I can find and will get back to you. But don't be surprised if the answer is: buy more Starbuck's :o)
damon....Funny how no one seems upset about the BULLET!
Well, the bullet seems to be the instrument of some women's pleasure.
fingers...sure, I'll take the shortbread, not too into coddle though.
Jahooni...
I want one of those for my collection... ;)~
looks beautiful with an evening gown!
Kara...
now the kidlet will have to wait until some chick has a sex toy party in the dorm room next door.
I think Tasha didn't use it as an opportunity for an info lesson because she is actually a teacher at the school and it would have caused a few red faces in the staffroom!
The Old Tarf...
Until recently I thought rubbers were something you put on your feet.
You mean they're not? ;)
mutleythedog...
The guy wears it while having sex with the woman. The vibrating bullet is meant to stimulate the woman's clitoris.
moi...
re the muffins...there is definately something I am doing wrong. Maybe the oven is too high or I am using too much butter/oil, not enough eggs. Sometimes they don't rise - what's the cause of that?? any help would be appreciated.
She either has a tiny wrist or your son... Well. Ahem. You know.
roland...Looking at her son who is pretty weedy he looks like he doesn't have a big one. Also, those jelly substance cock rings are very stretchy to accomodate all sizes of todger!
Don't you just hate it when your elderly parents or one of your kids is coming over and you know you've left a sex toy out because it's not in 'the box'. but you just can't find it?
i never understood how cock-rings work. not that i don't no what it's for, but more like how and why it gives pleasure. but the poor, poor girl, i hope she never finds out and then gets emotionally scarred for life :S
I'm lost for words. Funny though.
tickersoid...that's never happened to me but I feel your pain.
Mars... most sex toys are a bit of a waste of space. I suppose people use them for novelty. Personally cock rings with bullets don't do much for me but horses for courses!
Reformed Smoker...welcome and congrats on giving up the evil weed.
I was expecting to click over here and find another 'good mommy blog' and instead I find a Bad Mutha blog!
there are simply NOT enough stories involving cockrings and teachers.
nice stuff ;-)
I agree, coddling is a waste of time...
Ha ha ha ha!! That is so gross yet so funny at the same time.
The teacher would have been mortified.
Classic.
LOL. Love to see the kids face when she's grown up and someone tells her what she wore to school.
I wish I could have been in the staffroom that day :)
Wait, what?? Thats just worrying.
That is too funny. I think my roommate keeps taking my cock ring. That is so nasty, its like wearing my dirty underwear. I hope he reads this and stops. I get all my toys at Xandria.com because of their great return policy. Not that I would return a cock ring.. lol But seriously Stop Stealing my toys!!!!!!
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