So my forty-one year old crazy friend Tasha is in an unusual situation in that she has her 21 year old son Jake living her, plus her five year old daughter Angie. So Jake spends most of his time smoking weed and having sex with his girlfriend Charlotte and they just leave all their sex toys lying around his room. Well, Tasha is always warning them to not do this because Angie tends to pick up whatever is lying about. And of course, yesterday, the inevitable happened.
Angie came home from school and Tasha looked through her schoolbag and found a pretty looking purple cock ring with a vibrating bullet on it. And she asked Angie where she'd got it from. Angie just made up some story about Charlotte having given her this pretty bracelet. Apparently Angie had worn the cock ring on her wrist, thinking it was a bracelet, until the teacher had looked at it and told her to take it off.
Tasha said, "I knew I shouldn't make a fuss about it, and in fact I couldn't because I'd have to explain that it was a ring that had been on her brother's cock etc. etc. So I just told Angie not to go into Jake's room again and take any of their toys or bracelets."
So funny! I expect the teacher didn't send a note home about it because it would have been too embarrassing: 'Could you please make sure your daughter doesn't bring any vibrating cock rings to school in future.'
Who am I? Displaced Londoner now living in the States with my two little girlies and long suffering husband. Co-author of hilarious parenting book Cocktails at Naptime www.cocktailsatnaptime.com
My mom's an Austrian, my dad's a Brit, which makes me a Britaustrian, or possibly an Austrish?