Today Scarlett (7) asked me, "Mummy, what are you reading?"
To which I replied, "Adam's Curse: The Science That Reveals Our Genetic Destiny by Bryan Sykes."
Scarlett: "What's it about?"
Me: "Well, this geneticist is saying that the Y chromosome is so weak that in 125,000 years men will probably have died out. What do you think we'd do if there were no men?"
Scarlett, deadpan: "We'd all have to be lesbians."
Even I was shocked by her matter of fact knowledge of lesbians and impressed by her practical solution to what I would have thought was an insurmountable problem. I thought she'd at least say, "I'd miss my daddy."
Which made me think of what the world would be like without men. Or at least, without sexual attraction. Think how many times a day you think about sex or men and then think about what you would think about instead. Frankly, I don't want to think about flowers and trees and the price of cornflakes. Sexual attraction really is the spice of life, however much we may sometimes hate men staring at our breasts and whistling at us from building sites.
My only experience of imagining a man-less world is when I used to frequent the Ladies' Pond on Hampstead Heath (above), which is a pretty idyllic place to relax at, with wall to wall women, mostly topless. Some of them look like this:
and some look like this:
All around me, spread out on the grass, would be lots of nubile lovelies oiling each other, snogging each other and yes, of course there would also be the occasional Peeping Tom up a tree with binoculars, trying to get a glimpse of this North London flesh fest.
But while the atmosphere was very tranquil and relaxing, after a while it also became somewhat dull. There was definitely not enough sexual tension in the air to keep it interesting for more than a few hours. For all the conflicts and misunderstandings between men and women, I can't imagine a sausageless world being much fun.
What do you think the world would be like if it was just inhabited by women?
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58 comments:
I agree - a world without men would suck.
Who would carry my shopping?
There would certainly be less crime but don't for a moment believe there would be less war. Women can start a fight in an empty room.
I know, I've done it.
But wars wouldn't start because some country's dictator wanted to show its strength and intimidate the little guy. Wars would start because some woman just didn't like the look that other woman gave her, cos who does SHE think she is, she ain't all that...etc, etc
I know this comment won't sit well with feminists out there, but I've seen it happen a million times. Just watch reality TV if you don't beleive me.
And if you still aren't convinced on the warmongering capacity of women...think back to Mrs Thatcher. Apparently Argetine premier Galtieri wore the same outfit as her to a function.
And the rest, as we say, is history.
Countless wars over shoes and handbags.
A lack of top notch chefs.
No more pole dancing clubs.
The garden shed business would collapse.
Can't think of upside really.
Well, I couldn't picture it, as much as I bitch about men. Men also bitch about us, so we are even.
I am amused by your daughter's ability to think outside the "box" though, in her reply to you. So funny. So sensible.
All I can say is that it wouldn't lessen my enjoyment of tennis tournaments.
The toilet seats would always be down!
and i thought this post was about your daughter....
well unless they make realistic penis strap-ons for women...but then again, it kinda loses the point.
na, we need men as much as we need women.
In a world without men, I suspect there'd be more than enough sexual tension to go around at these women-only locations (otherwise known as "the future").
For some reason, I really can't get too concerned about the demise of my sex ... I'll go and make a note in my diary to start fretting in, oh, about 124,900 years.
They would only last 125001 years, as it would only take 365 more days for them all to scratch each other to death
Life after men will go something like this:
After 1 month: All the cars will have run out of gas.
After 3 months: The garbage will have piled up to the ceiling.
After 6 months: Total darkness as the last lightbulb flickers out.
After 12 months: Spiders will reclaim suburbia...
In relate to manless world, what i have in my mind is a question of will sex be less about penetration?
At economic aspect, there should be a lot of courses run by women about on how to read maps
Who's to say that we'll find other women unattractive? Isn't it read (somewhere?)that we would all be bisexual if it weren't for society "norms"?
LMAO at Fingers - and agreeing! Between laughing at that comment and fantasizing about the Ladies' Pond on Hamstead Heath, you may as well knock me off right now - I got nothing!
I'd go insane, that's for certain.
I think Mr. Sykes has simply noticed that anti-male products are selling big, so he made up a theory that makes feminists in the university where he probably works very happy to hear, thus assuring him tenure and some meaningless award, like a Nobel Prize or something. He created his premise and then did some quick bullshit research to support it, rather than the other way around, and now he's making millions. It's like that dick, Goldman, who created the 'boys are stupid - throw rocks at them' line of products. He's a pig, spreading sexism and hate, but he's a rich pig, and that's all he cares about.
So, to answer your question, I think a sausageless world means a world in which no animal life of any kind exists, regardless of what PC individuals like Mr. Sykes claims. He's just cashing in on the current popularity of misandry. I agree with what you said, only from the other side - I wouldn't want a world without women. What would be the point of living in a world like that? We need each other. More than that, we make each other's lives fuller and more enjoyable, despite all the conflict that comes from being different.
I'd like to say that a world populated solely by women would be a tranquil utopia but I suspect every 4th week a devastating 2 day war would break out and decimate the population. No men around to bear the brunt of global mass PMT?!? Your own destruction would be assured! Would you really want that?
Just wait a cotton-picking minute here!
How about a world without women?
Tofu becomes extinct.
Every man can always find things where he left them.
'Sex And The City' would become the stuff of nightmares.
All men would have a pet dog, or possibly monkey (cost permitting).
We'd never have to 'do lunch', we'd all just 'go for a pint'.
Jeans, t shirt, and trainers would become the uniform for the whole planet.
Mika would be publicly crucified.
Bring it on!
A world without women?
It would smell nicer, but you'd find all the 'sales offer' crap, old shoes, empty wine bottles and dirty knickers swept underneath the northern edge of Alaska.
I counseled at an all girls camp one summer, and you're right, it was totally dull w/o sexual tension. Oddly enough the girls primped more than girls at other co-ed camps I've worked at, and there was a lot of talk about periods. The one elderly maintenance man was like Adonis by the end of the summer, and we could smell a man a mile away.
Argh!!! It's not worth THINKING about! We'd all have those 'real life male dolls' to keep us company!
No men... no, no... I can't imagine it... I mean who would...
Who would yell at me when I missed the freeway off ramp?
Who would decline to answer when I asked if my bottom looks too big in my new pants?
Who would tap his toe and look repeatedly at his watch standing by the front door as I gather my purse, keys, make up, primp my hair...?
Who would snore really, really loud at night and get really, really grumpy when I poked him to turn over?
Then again... who would...
Hold my hand, kiss my forehead, bring me soup when I am sick, kiss other things, put up with me during PMS, like my cooking, rub my back, rub my feet, let the dogs out this one time (every time), call me and tell me he can't wait to see me tonight (even after 15 years)... and ... and ...
And I think I like him in particular, and men in general.
Honey
If there were no men, the world would just be populated by women driving round and round in their cars, looking for an easy space that doesn't require reverse parking.
Who on earth would cook decent food ?
How would maps be read ?
If there were only women, who would be in charge of finding 'stuff' that men are too retarded to find. My main reason for getting married was having a live in finder for all those important things like my phone, my wallet my keys etc.
the fucking toilet seat would be always be down.
i'll leave it to you to decide whether or not that would make it worth it.
i wonder if we would all cycle the same...that would be hell
Is it true you can't get a good sausage in the USA?
Ooh hard question - I'm tempted to say it would be awful, because women can be truly hideous to each other, but then again, if there were no men to compete for and show off in front of, who knows?!
I have to say, having one around the house does have its trade-offs - I might have to hoover the house and scrub the loos, but I don't have to mow the lawn or pick up the dog poo. All's fair in my house!
akg....
what about getting a shopping trolley?? lol
Misssy M...
what are you saying, that Margaret Thatcher was a woman?? I need evidence.
garfer...
No more pole dancing clubs.
come come, surely men could be trained to wear crotchless pants and dance around poles?
Karen ^..^...
Scarlett is a very mature girl. More mature than me, which isn't saying much.
Gorilla Bananas...
tennis tournaments wouldn't be so much fun because none of the men would be scratching their sweaty nuts.
xl...
The toilet seats would always be down!
heaven
Mars...
actually wearing a strap on looks kind of like too much hard work!
Ro...
does the demise of the Y chromosome show that men are the weaker species though?
Does it matter who I am?...
ha ha, yes there would be a lot of cat fighting
fingers...
it sounds like you're somehow saying that men are integral to running a household, which in my experience isn't so. Maybe you are one of those men who isn't happy unless he's wearing washing up gloves and a pinafore?
spew-it-all...
I think sex would still be about penetration by root vegetables etc
fair point about the map reading courses, I am map-reading illiterate
BrokeMom...
true, maybe we would all mutate into lesbians
Wow, that was awkward...
don't knock yourself out while you knock one off
dgny...
can't tell if you are m or f
Memphis Steve...
He's just cashing in on the current popularity of misandry.
you're probably right. Can you imagine the hoo ha there would be if a geneticist published a work saying the X chromosome was weak and defective?
Steve...
a devastating 2 day war would break out and decimate the population.
lol, mass PMT....I don't want to be around in that world!
Inchy...
Jeans, t shirt, and trainers would become the uniform for the whole planet.
the fashion industry would die and all the jumped up pretentious fashion designers with it! Result!
Roland Hulme...
Maybe women would become more stinky because they wouldn't have to seduce men with their perfumed pudendas?
Helen...
I spent five years at an all girl school and by the end I was screaming to go to a co-ed school, especially to get away from all the cold repressed lesbian spinster teachers!
trixie...don't knock those male living dolls they have detachable penises for easy clean up!
MissHoney...
men are a source of amusement if nothing else
Inchy...
If there were no men, the world would just be populated by women driving round and round in their cars, looking for an easy space that doesn't require reverse parking.
yes, that's me! why does reverse parking even exist. It is torture!
Gumpher...
My main reason for getting married was having a live in finder for all those important things like my phone, my wallet my keys etc.
lol...your wife sounds great. I can't even find my own lost stuff let alone my husbands.
Kara...
the fucking toilet seat would be always be down v no more penises
That is a very tough call!
Daisy...
we would all cycle and PMS together. Hell, indeed
gilbert the alien...
sausage is indeed gristly and inferior in the USA but I imported by own irish sausage in the form of my husband
Melissaria...
also men seem to be geniunely interested in putting up shelves and doing plumbing, so I would be lost without them
"I agree - a world without men would suck"
AKG 1.58
I'm afraid that's the one thing it WOULDN'T do, AKG.
:-(((
What if no men visited your blog, Sexpot ?
;-)
would gays still be allowed though?
I am reading Saxons, Vikings, And Celts by Bryan Sykes. Here an interesting bit:
"For the first six weeks of life, there is no visible difference between male and female embryos. At about that time, the sex gene on the Y chromosome switch on ... actively divert[ing] embryonic development away from female to male."
So, females have always been winning the first six weeks of life.
I think I would top myself.....
Unless I found an uber hot, butch, lezzo to shack up with.
I like women, but I don't fancy women. Ergo a world without men would mean no frisson. No instant pheromone 'hit'. No finding yourself appreciating a fine figure of a man who is doing nothing other than walking down the street.
Christ, I sound like a dirty old woman :-O x
Bitchy and penis-less.
How very unappealing!
A world without men? Fuck, I'd be out of business.
Those who look to a future without one or the other sex just don't get it, do they? One presumes the female part of this set are the usual motley crew of rugmunchin orange peel faced wimmin who have to date failed to attract anyone of any merit whatsoever of the opposite gender.
As for moi, having spent last evening at the "Western style" equine oriented evening in the hills above Lucca, which was packed end-to-end (as such) with wall-to-wall totty of the highest standard imaginable (knife though butter was the thought uppermost in the Tuscan bonce, followed by "way too easy, like shooting fish in a barrel"); I can't really get that worked up about my children emanating from a artifically supported womb and ovaries twinset suspended in some sort of Frankenstein-style water-filled glass tower in the garage.
We wants Jessica Rabbit, and we wants her NOW!
Dear Tuscan Tony: It seems to have escaped your notice that the person who wrote this book was not, in fact, one of those "rugmunchin orange peel faced wimmin who have to date failed to attract anyone of any merit whatsoever of the opposite gender".
It was actually a man.
It also appears to have escaped your notice that none of the women who commented on Emma's post made any mention of being happy about a manless future.
Therefore, one can only conclude that you decided to use the unnecessary and horribly sexist terms "rugmunchin", "wimmin" and "wall-to-wall totty of the highest standard imaginable" because you are a total misogynist twat who's clearly got issues with women.
If all men were like you, I have to say the prospect of a penisless would actually be quite attractive.
You can't imagine a world without sausages ?
Well I can't imagine a world without doughnuts.
Though we could most certainly do without the jammy ones every month.
much tidier
I'm envisioning a lot of sweat pants, Crocs, and unshaven body parts as women everywhere just. Let. Go.
electro-kevin
....the book may be a load of cock (pardon the pun) but it is v interesting.
In Sykes' view, the human male's chromosome has been the major factor in human evolution and cultural development. Not only determining gender, it acts through a feedback loop. More powerful, aggressive males tend to reinforce their role in selecting mates and propagating traits in offspring.
Today the planet is carpeted with humanity, the result of a society dominated by the Y-chromosome. When hunter-gatherer societies took up agriculture, it "chained women" to "serial pregnancies", depriving them of the "relaxation of a sedentary existence" while producing additional farm workers. The resulting population explosion ultimately drove the creation of our industrialized, polluting society. This condition, in Sykes' view, is now leading to a depletion of the Y-chromosome's prowess. Ultimately, he argues, human males will be replaced by a society of women. Whether men will be kept as breeding stock he doesn't predict.
Men will only die out in 125,000 years so I am not worried that my male audience will desert me as yet.
conorje....
would gays still be allowed though?
Shit. I have not read the chapter on how gays fit into all this. Since this Sykes guy is awfully politically correct I imagine he will let gays still be around in 125,000 years.
xl...
Also, apparently the sexes were equal until agriculture arrived. Before then women were venerated and worshipped. After that they were enslaved and treated as property. I think I was born ten thousand years too late.
Steph...
I think I would top myself.....
Don't worry, they'll have invented robot/clone/sex machine men by the time 'real' men have died out.
Kitty...
Christ, I sound like a dirty old woman :-O x
don't fight it!
having my cake...
I imagine they will have invented robot/sex machine male clones for us by then, fear not!
Tuscan Tony...
maybe the theory is that men will be so knackered from shagging their way throughout history, and their Y chromosome will be so knackered that in 125,000 years their willies will have atrophied and even Jessica Rabbit will fail to get them to stand to attention.
Slutty McWhore...
I kind of think tony was being tongue in cheeek??
weren't you tone?
Have you heard of a game called, "Hide the Sausage?"
A lot of practice is needed to get it right apparently.
gilbert the alien...I have indeed played it. The knack is in using the right condiments. I played it once with some hot chili sauce. Suffice to say I ended up red-faced in ER with a burning bun.
Emmak.
I only asked 'cos some geezer came up to me in the pub the other day and asked me if I wanted to play that game.
Given your experience, I'm glad I stuck to pork scratchings.
125,000 years before male depletion, Emma ?
So I really DID use up all my DNA prematurely that weekend my mum and dad went away in 1981
:-((
electro-kevin....
Since in 125,000 its RIP to men you'd better make hay while the sun (sperm) still shines (is functional)
It sounds VERY boring, indeed. I need some eye candy in my life to sweeten things up.
on the rewind :) and bumped into you ! I'm not sure how I feel about this. I would have to have a strong lesbian as I struggle with jar lids. I'm also struggling to think of anything else men are required for. Infact you are right: I'll nip into lakeland, get myself one of those jar opener doodahs and tell him I want a divorce. Appreciate the advice, I'll mention you in court :)
Good question. I'd sleep soundly (no sonic levels of snoring) but I'd have to take the garbage out and carry heavy luggage.
More importantly, all our hormonal cycles would start synching and the world's chocolate/red wine supply would be depleted in a month.
Man, I don't know. I know they shit us, but not sure I want to live without them. Lovely to look at and all that. xxx
Loved the "We'd all have to be Lesbians" comment.
as much as they can be a pain in the ass, i wouldn't want a world without men. i mean for pete's sake, can you imagine if this world was ruled by a bunch of mean girls? haha
but seriously, that sexual tension you wrote of and the little butterflies you get when a certain comes your way, we need that in life.
Visiting from the Weekend Rewind. :-)
I suspect that if you took men out of the equation there might be a hell of a lot more 'bicurious' behaviour going on. I like men. They have a lot of uses.
Thanks for Rewinding at the Fibro.
Kelloggsville...listen about the jar lids! All you have to do is put the end of a tea spoon under the jar lid and lever it until you hear a whoosh...once the air bubble has been let out it's easy to twist off!
A world without men would suck but at that point i guess it would be lets be lesbians or use toys like this http://www.hotgvibe.com or both really
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