Then it was on with my glad rags and I was off to get me some cock.
After a lively evening of playing Spot the Slut,
I got chatting to a lady called Beryl who I have a feeling wasn't a lady.
Which brings me to my thought for today. If you are a straight man, maybe this thought will cause you several days of shitting yourself as you scroll through all the lady loves in your past. If you are a lady don't worry about it. I ran this question past lady-killer fingers who was like, "whatever, so I might have slept with a guy, who cares?, it's like worrying about the 55 spiders I'm supposed to have swallowed in my sleep statistically." To which I say, surely unwittingly sleeping with a guy is a lot more freaky than eating spiders? What I mean is, by the law of averages if you've slept with a fair few women, surely one of them was a post-op transsexual? I only mention this because I just saw a program about transsexuals and a lot of them really, and I mean, seriously, looked like women (rather than Beryl).
I asked my husband if he worried that he'd accidentally shagged a transsexual and he said no he wasn't because they don't have them in Ireland. If you went to a doctor in Ireland and told him you were a man trapped in a woman's body he'd lock you in a mental hospital and throw away the key.
But if you're not lucky enough to be Irish then think about it.
Have you ever been with a woman who said she didn't lubricate naturally and needed KY?
Have you ever been with a woman who you had anal sex with and it felt a bit, well, different?
Please don't say you would have known it was a chap because of his Adam's apple, because that can be removed with an operation called a Chondrolaryngoplasty.
Food for thought. Also I wonder what they do with the discarded penises?
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31 comments:
I really need to go to that lounge - where is it?!
I had some friends who went to Mexico and one of them hooked up with someone he thought was a girl and they did some naughty stuff and it turned out to be a guy. He never lived that one down. Never!
I was doing quite well in Malaga trying to pick up one of the most beautiful women I have met . Turned out it was a pre-op TV. While androgyny has always been attractive to me that was pushing the boat one flotilla too far.
Test their map reading skills. If they're hot shit, you're in trouble.
textual healer...did you only find out about this once you had your hands down his/her pants?
A lot of men prefer them with the willy intact. There's a famous shemale porn actress who gets loads of men chasing her who insist they aren't gay but always ending up sucking her cock. Can't remember her name.
Two things I've learnt about in this post (being a woman) Findus is bloody expensive over there... and new ways to entice the kids to eat frankfurts! (but really... do I want them to eat lips and arseholes?)
When I was at University in Paris, we took a weekend trip to London. Two of my friends were gay only no one knew it then. WE WERE YOUNGER.
They took us to a bar and I ended up spending a lot of time with a guy at the bar. Tall, lanky, shaggy hair. After about an hour the bartender leaned in to me while my new friend went to pee and said, "You know that's a girl, right?"
I did not know that.
Transsexual + Irish Guy = The Crying Game = Hit Movie!
LOL, I heard they split them and tuck them up inside, so there can be fabulous sensations due to the salvaging of nerve endings.
But then again, if you slice up a penis, and crudely shove it up inside a makeshift hole, wont it damage the nerve endings?
It is all just too confusing to contemplate, and after reading some of these comments, I have discovered that at 42, I am a relative babe in the woods. I have not "been around" at all!!
In 1972 my grandparents died in very cold winter. It was sad for my father. But not even he knew which one was the mother and which the father. This can be the way with Poles.
I also once was seeing my aunt Danuta pee standing up.
... and that Gilbert! Is all double or quits with that boy.
Emma, I've met enough of them in my life to know a real c*nt when I see one.
However, your thought-provoking question has inspired a post, which I will dedicate to you, baby...
Lmao, that comment from your husband is Gold. They don't have any of "the gays" either apparently, or so I'm told.
I'm sure Fingers has shagged men before. He rides a Vespa remember?
uh *waves to waiter and points to Metody* I'll have whatever he's having please.
I should like to apologise for the politically incorrect comment I made earlier in respect of...
a) I should not have implied that ladies cannot read maps upside down,(my self preservation instincts didn't kick in).
b) In the event of finding that potential totty was an A+ map reader, I should of course have proceeded to ask the gentleman the way to Bourneville Avenue. In no way could this be construed as being in any sort of trouble.
Once again I aologise for any offense caused and hope that those affected make a full recovery
don't they give those to women who are transforming to men...makes sense doesn't it?
Hands are a dead give away no matter how good they look.
55 spiders? Crap! I thought it was only 3.
Given my extremely low ex girlfriend count I can proudly proclaim with complete confidence that I have never ever slept with a man - pre-op, post-op or bristling with full moustache. It might not be as well travelled as some but I know precisely where my dick has been. Real 'lady gardens' only.
It wouldn't bother me if I did. If they're convincing enough to fool me, then I wouldn't feel threatened.
It's not quite the same thing but I suspect I may well have slept with a man who was really a strategically shaved ape.
Are crack sticks the new fishfingers?
lol Emma!
Keshi.
It's a really serious issue.
You're getting the best BJ of your life and you reach round for a bit of quid pro quo (I'm thoughtful like that) and ... wahaaay !
What would one do ?
'She's' really gorgeous (obviously - otherwise you wouldn't be there) you're getting puuurfect head (only a man could understand) and then you cop hold of the old meat gear stick juuust at the important part of the action...
...it's definitely a toss up between pushing 'her' off or complaining later about it.
Many of my friends are ex servicemen and some have actually found themselves in this very situation in Thailand - each to a man just carried on and paid up afterwards.
I'm pretty sure I'd do the right thing.
The poor chap's gotta make a crust somehow ain't he ???
Ever heard of Tucker Max?
You need to - your blog post reminded me of one of his tales....
xl....
Transsexual + Irish Guy = The Crying Game = Hit Movie!
fair point but
1. that was a movie ergo fiction
2. I believe even the movie didn't have a happy ending ...the trannie or his boyfriend ended up in jail.
Karen ^..^
...
I believe they just turn it inside out thus nerve damage is minimal...or so I've been told;0
Metody Jankowiak...
I also once was seeing my aunt Danuta pee standing up.
maybe this traumatic experience explains why you are one sandwich short of a picnic.
fingers...
However, your thought-provoking question has inspired a post, which I will dedicate to you, baby...
I hope this post will materialize and that this is not just a prick tease
Steph...
He rides a Vespa remember?
I didn't know that. Hmm
Explains a great deal ;)
akg...yeah this was inspired by Tucker Max who I cannot figure out if I admire or loathe, I suppose he is palatable only because he is so funny. I wanted more people to worry about this issue.
Sam, Problem-Child-Bride
55 spiders? Crap! I thought it was only 3.
this is more of an issue with the Australians since they I believe have some dangerous spiders whereas in the UK you only have daddy long legs so don't need to worry too much!
Steve...
Given my extremely low ex girlfriend count I can proudly proclaim with complete confidence that I have never ever slept with a man
wow, not even one drunken one night stand which was a blur? you are a jewel amongst men!
Billy...
It wouldn't bother me if I were a bloke either. But most men get hysterical at the thought that they have inadvertently shagged a lad.
Luka...
I may well have slept with a man who was really a strategically shaved ape.
are you talking about back hair?
if so you have a stronger stomach than I do
having my cake...
Are crack sticks the new fishfingers?
YES!!
electro-kevin,...
I'm pretty sure I'd do the right thing.
The poor chap's gotta make a crust somehow ain't he ???
wow, you are surprising broadminded for a Daily Mail reader ;)
gilbert the alien..
no offence taken. I can't read a map to save my life. I mean, that's what men are for right?
Actually, yesterday, Justin and I were working on the sided of town where it is not a surprise to see a guy dressed as a girl. And we did. I had to take a double look b/c at first I thought it was the ugliest woman I had ever seen. But then I realized that it was a man and just through it off. He looked like Robert Deniro dressed as a woman in a really bad wig.
I just liked the infiniti in the picture..oh dear.
Cool pics. Cock lounge eh? It'd be great if all places were really that straightforward about it.
The cock lounge sounds like a sex toy shop haha. I mean ours is HotGVibe.com let me know if you see a bar called that .
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