Last night was quite a wild one for me. I took a little crack:
Then it was on with my glad rags and I was off to get me some cock.
After a lively evening of playing Spot the Slut,
I got chatting to a lady called Beryl who I have a feeling wasn't a lady.
Which brings me to my thought for today. If you are a straight man, maybe this thought will cause you several days of shitting yourself as you scroll through all the lady loves in your past. If you are a lady don't worry about it. I ran this question past lady-killer fingers who was like, "whatever, so I might have slept with a guy, who cares?, it's like worrying about the 55 spiders I'm supposed to have swallowed in my sleep statistically." To which I say, surely unwittingly sleeping with a guy is a lot more freaky than eating spiders? What I mean is, by the law of averages if you've slept with a fair few women, surely one of them was a post-op transsexual? I only mention this because I just saw a program about transsexuals and a lot of them really, and I mean, seriously, looked like women (rather than Beryl).
I asked my husband if he worried that he'd accidentally shagged a transsexual and he said no he wasn't because they don't have them in Ireland. If you went to a doctor in Ireland and told him you were a man trapped in a woman's body he'd lock you in a mental hospital and throw away the key.
But if you're not lucky enough to be Irish then think about it.
Have you ever been with a woman who said she didn't lubricate naturally and needed KY?
Have you ever been with a woman who you had anal sex with and it felt a bit, well, different?
Please don't say you would have known it was a chap because of his Adam's apple, because that can be removed with an operation called a Chondrolaryngoplasty.
Food for thought. Also I wonder what they do with the discarded penises?
#SilentSunday 19th May 2013
12 hours ago