Thursday, August 21, 2008

New for Latex Lovers

Is it a bird, is it a plane?



No! It's the new spray on condom.

Yes! Researchers at the German Institute for Condom Consultancy are planning to launch a spray-on condom. They are currently conducting tests in which the man 'inserts the erect penis into the spray condom apparatus'. The penis is then sprayed with latex from all sides.

Here is the video, which is funnier in Italian:


Is it just me or do you think that after you 'insert the penis into the spray condom apparatus' you could run into a heap of problems? My first thought is, what if you get the latex on your pubes?

At the moment the invention is having teething problems in that it is taking too long to dry.

Where's the fun if after inserting your penis into the spray condom apparatus you have to say, "Sorry darling, I'll be with you in a minute I'm just blow drying this condom with your hairdryer."

By the way, testers are still still needed. Let me know how you get on.

31 comments:

Misssy M said...

Now I don't claim to be a total expert on how a penis works...but wouldn't jamming your penis in a machine in the middle of sex kind of spoil the mood thus causing the whole erection thing to be a wistful memory?

EmmaK said...

misssy m...that's what I thought... a total passion killer

shows what we know about men, eh?

garfer said...

I suppose it wouldn't be so bad if the spray condom apparatus resembled a super model (as long as it wasn't Kate Moss).

Karen ^..^ said...

What about the reservoir? Jesus, I don't claim to be an expert either, but it isn't supposed to TOTALLY fit like a glove is it? There needs to be room in the tip for a deposit of some sort, doesn't there?

This was funny. I could just see a man saying, wait, hon, I need to spray my tallywacker first!

What will they come up with next?

And where did you guys see the apparatus where the penis gets placed in a machine? All I saw was the sprayer. And yeah, the guy better be clean shaven, OUCH!!!

This is the most fun blog ever.

Gorilla Bananas said...

Suppose the spray is more stimulating than the fuck? Watch out ladies, this could be the male vibrator.

Steve said...

Laminating is a lot quicker if more painful. Stays hard for hours though.

Effortlessly Average said...

Well I foresee one big problem: no one at the airport complains about packing a box of condoms in your carry on, but I figure they'd balk at allowing you to carry a pint of liquid latex on. Besides, whatever happened to including the application of a condom in the whole enjoyable sex experience? I've always found it adds to the excitement when the she rolls it on, especially when it's ME she's rolling it onto, as opposed to herself. heh.

Fanny F said...

Could I substitute the latex with whipped cream? At least he wouldn't have an impromptu sack wax upon removal.

xl said...

No need to wait for the German researchers. Get a can of Fix-A-Flat®.

Mars said...

its easier rolling it on and jamming it in the right hole than sticking it some weird tube full of runny plastic...and the drying time would probably cause it to shrink...causing a rather snug and not so pleasing fit...

Ian said...

I'm assuming the original elease date of this story was April 1.

badside said...

Uh yeah, I don't see that one making a big splash in the condom aisle (did I just say something dirty?). ;^)

Daisy said...

lmao...i want to see this...omg...i have the feeling that the condom machine itself will take care of many of the problems prior to them going elsewhere...just my thoughts...

Cunning_Linguist said...

This looks like something that even if used correctly I'd still be going to the hospital over. I know me, it will happen.

No thanks, I'll resort to saran wrap and a rubber band before I go graffitti on my best friend there. Cutting off circulation and getting a rubber band stuck in my pubes sounds less damaging than what this little number can do.

Conortje said...

Don't you just know that little boys would be spray painting everything with latex if they got their hands on it ;-)

Memphis Steve said...

I've got nothing better to do. I'll volunteer.

jo said...

If the plastic has to be sprayed on then doesn't the plastic have to be heated? Doesn't this present a potentially serious issue - a blistered penis? Therefore can I ask if this revolutionary machine comes with safety cream or are users advised to keep a large tub of Haagan Dazs Handy?

gilbert the alien said...

Will this sort of stuff help me to become Jennifer Aniston's boyfriend?

VE said...

Well naturally...I'm going to need the extra large spray container... ;)

Drywall Mom said...

I can see it as one of those "we are not at fault if you get pregnate" sign off so that they can't sue them.

electro-kevin said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
electro-kevin said...

"...at the moment the invention is having teething problems."

No-no-no ! No teeth... definitely NO teeth !

fingers said...

It's a brilliant idea.
No more embarrassing condom machines in the pub restrooms anymore. It's really awkward standing there inserting coins into those things while everyone is watching.
They can just install spray-stations and we can just line up for a quick spritz...

Clyde said...

Are we still allowed to ride bare back or do we have to roll that little ribbed for extra sensetivty thingie on ?
Bugga, I love that moist warm feeling

Kara said...

i'm afraid my boyfriend would get too turned on by and leave me for the apparatus. i could never live down the shame.

Jules said...

Next we'll have something we blow up our vadges and it will be stop sperm getting past. FFS!!

Textual Healer said...

Sadly one has to be almost 18 (years old not cm) to apply to be tester. That's me out then.

Lotta said...

Oh my lord. It's like smurf jizz running down that finely carved wooden dildo.

belledame222 said...

...but, is it going to be like the spray-on tan thing, where it leaves little bare streaks? also: spray-on orange fake-tan cock. I dunno.

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