My husband, who likes to keep abreast of the latest research on women's breasts tell me that a Swedish boffin called Helena Jernstroem, from Lund University in Sweden has just done a study that concluded that drinking more than three cups of coffee per day shrinks women's breasts.
I think this was his way of telling me I should drink a maximum of three cups of coffee per day because he doesn't want my breasts to deflate. And sure, I could do that, but then I would want to kill myself. So what's it going to be, big man, ample breasts or a very cranky wife?
Jernstroem claims that "Coffee-drinking women do not have to worry their breasts will shrink to nothing overnight. They will get smaller, but the breasts aren't just going to disappear."
Thank God for that!
But I mean, come on, which woman is going to take breasts over coffee? Not me, that's for sure. Caffeine is the only legal drug I'm allowed and if that means I end up flat as a pancake then so be it.
Who am I? Displaced Londoner now living in the States with my two little girlies and long suffering husband. Co-author of hilarious parenting book Cocktails at Naptime www.cocktailsatnaptime.com
My mom's an Austrian, my dad's a Brit, which makes me a Britaustrian, or possibly an Austrish?