My husband, who likes to keep abreast of the latest research on women's breasts tell me that a Swedish boffin called Helena Jernstroem, from Lund University in Sweden has just done a study that concluded that drinking more than three cups of coffee per day shrinks women's breasts.
I think this was his way of telling me I should drink a maximum of three cups of coffee per day because he doesn't want my breasts to deflate. And sure, I could do that, but then I would want to kill myself. So what's it going to be, big man, ample breasts or a very cranky wife?
Jernstroem claims that "Coffee-drinking women do not have to worry their breasts will shrink to nothing overnight. They will get smaller, but the breasts aren't just going to disappear."
Thank God for that!
But I mean, come on, which woman is going to take breasts over coffee? Not me, that's for sure. Caffeine is the only legal drug I'm allowed and if that means I end up flat as a pancake then so be it.
What do you say ladies? Coffee Cups or D Cups?
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40 comments:
I wonder does it work on man boobs too...
conortje...
'kin hell!
If it does, patent the idea now man! you are well on your way to being a Moobs Millionaire!!!
That explains it then, I've always been a bit of a handful and I only drink tea.
Sx
I can't take the risk...I've not much to gamble. What about decaf?
scarlet-blue....this is a very interesting train of thought. Did Barbara Windsor drink a lot of tea? I don't know. Who else has big ones? The Queen. Yes! I'm pretty sure she drinks a lot of tea. I think there could be a new scientific survey here. Does drinking tea make your tits grow bigger?
misssy m....decaf!!
utter blasphemy. Coffee without caffeine is like ...Orville without Keith Harris...pointless
I think Meatloaf should read your blog and weigh in on this discussion too!
not a fan of coffee, so boobies any day :)
If allowed to vote, it wouldn't be for coffee.
You know... my doctor told me that my fiber cyst disease is aggravated by caffeine, so basically, my boobs get very sore and swollen when I've had too much coffee. Talk about a contradiction!
I only drink lots of coffee when I'm going to be wearing something low cut the next day... Other than that, it isn't worth the pain. LOL.
I don't drink coffee ... which, I guess, explains the D's. x
VE
We need to start a campaign for big titted men everywhere. The rallying cry will be :
Four lattes a day
Keeps the moobs away!
Mars...
you are so lucky not to have to make this heartbreaking dilemma
xl...
I refuse to believe this survey. It is just propaganda put about by a tea manufacturer, I'm sure of it.
Karen ^..^...
my boobs get very sore and swollen when I've had too much coffee. Talk about a contradiction!
oh christ, this is too confusing. My head is spinning, I need to lie down and see if my boobs are still there. They are. whew
Kitty...
Jesus, you're so lucky, D's and no interest in coffee. And here's me aroused by mere whiff of a coffee bean!
To hell with this war on tobacco. I say we ban coffee, and right now!
Being that I'm bucking the trend and am into, shall we say, a flatter chested woman; I'm all for you finishing that full strength Turkish grind double latte.
Girl, my coffee is my crack.
My boobs, thanks to the kids, hang to my crack.
And you don't even want to KNOW ME without my crack... the first one.
Is this just coffee...or caffeine? Cos I'd give up the coffee to keep my D cups, but not my vodka and cokes!
emma...this is bullshit...you know me, i call it when i see it...i have been a DD since i was 17 years old...i turned 46 this month and havent changed in size yet, i drink more coffee in a day than one human should in a week...i say chuck the research and pour another cup!!!
So the coffee companies could put breast reduction surgeons out of business? That works for me.
oh it's a load of pants!
i drink at least 2 super strong macho cups a day and i'm a DD,
this scientific evidence obviously came straight from those boffins over at Starbucks!
i guess i can spare a fraction off my F cups in exchange for a decent daily cup of coffee but it seems grossly unfair .. why can't coffee reduce the size of my butt instead?
It's the milk in your coffee going straight to your arse, making your boobs look smaller----
But dont take the risk----ban coffee
It's the milk in your coffee going straight to your arse, making your boobs look smaller----
But dont take the risk----ban coffee
Chocolate makes my boobs bigger. Seriously. Boobs are weird, they've got minds of their own...
Sx
I don't like large breasts anyway.
Make mine an esspresso.
Stupid science, messing up my love for big boobs and dunkin donuts stock. I'm officially hanging up my lab coat now.
I already have nothing to lose.
memphis steve
If they ban coffee I don't know what I will have left, I'd have to boil up my own meth from bottles of cough medicine and I simply don't have the time
unique_stephen...
You are a unique lad, I didn't know that anyone preferred the flat chest. What is the appeal?
Kelley...
Hi baby! Coffee is my crack too!
Trixie...
don't panic. They are only talking about coffee and not other caffinated beveages
Daisy...
I know you've got the DDs to prove it but the thing is, the swedes are so earnest that I can't imagine them making this stuff up. okay okay don't get angry and hit me in the face with one of your mammaries!
Steve...
I dunno about that, I don't think the breasts shrivel to nothing, I think they just shrink maybe a couple of cup sizes over the years!
the projectivist...
But how do you know you wouldn't naturally be an FF if you hadn't drunk all that coffee? lol
Carnalis...
yeah, they really should start researching butt reducing coffee beans
Clyde...
Christ, you're right! I never thought of it like that.
scarlet-blue...
my boobs just swell and go down relating to my menstrual cycle...like the tide or summat
electro-kevin...
don't be funny - what about Kelly Brook? you saying you'd kick her out of bed just for having big ones?
Jordan looks wierd and fake but big ones can look good I reckon, or maybe its just Brook has a lovely face
Cunning_Linguist...
And there was I thinking you wanted to be employed as the man wiht the measuring tape in the next hands on survey!
Tee aka The Diva's Thoughts ...
In that case keep quaffing the caffeine!
Caffeine is the only legal drug I'm allowed and if that means I end up flat as a pancake then so be it.
Ah, yup.
Besides, what do the Swedes know anyway? Can't trust a country that cold, that dark, and where the people are that pretty.
"'Tis the quality of the tit, not the cup size that makes all the difference.", Sir Winston Churchill. OK, he didn't really say that, it was me, but hey it's a legit train of thought, no? ;^)
Oh, forgot to say, Happy Halloween!
Badside is right! Miss Chokesondick had whoppers! I think we should have a contest for the sexiest small boobs. If no one else volunteers, I suppose I can be the judge.
Hmmmm....
She could have studied the effect of green wine gums on the production of foreskin smegma or what happens if you place a condom full of custard in a tumble drier or studied the dietry implications of eating Jaffa cakes whilst masturbating.......but she didn't
I sometimes wonder how the human race has managed to last so long with out the answers to all these questions.
What about the Jamaican study that suggested drinking more than three cups of java a day made your pee-pee grow ??
Double espresso for me, mon...
Decaff is very good I hear and a much cheaper alternative to silicone!
Has anyone seen my pussy?
These boffins have no idea - in the paper today they were saying it is now *OK* to have a glass of wine or two during pregnancy (don't know about you but six years ago you would have been arrested for so much as having a sniff of Blue Nun ..;) Never, ever noticed my caffeine addiction having had an effect ... and if its a toss up between caffeine/cleavage, there's always Wonderbras girls. Hellooo boys!
coffee cups. That's for damn sure.......
Mrs Slocombe! That's funny. That made me laugh. I had forgotten about that show.
mrs slocombe...Yes! I just saw your pussy go by. What should I do with it?
My dear, please try and grab hold of my pussy, as it needs to go under the vet for an urgent injection.
Thank you ever so.
I'm sorry, I couldn't help myself, I tagged you.
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