I really do adore my friend Daisy, but her daughter, who I will refer to as Child X (age 8) is now so off the charts crazy that I don't know if I can bear to be around her anymore.
Last night my husband, Daisy and Darren, Child X and my two kids were at a restaurant. My kids order chicken nuggets and french fries. When the waitress asks Child X what she wants, she says:
"A New York Strip."
Daisy anxiously: "And no salt and pepper on it or she won't eat it."
Darren: "And no sauce."
Child X: "And medium rare. If it isn't done right you will hear my screams!"
The steak arrives with mashed potato and asparagus.
Child X: "I won't eat that because there's vegetables on the plate."
Me: "So what? The meat isn't even touching the potatoes."
Daisy and Darren remove vegetables onto their plate then proceed to cut up the steak for an eight year old.
What else does Child X eat I hear you ask? Well, believe it or not, Child X only eats steak, strawberries, ice cream and maybe bread?
The father Darren, who is nuts, I believe either forgets to put anything in her lunchbox or just can't be bothered, knowing she won't eat it. So recently the school phoned up and asked why they weren't giving her lunch and Darren replied: "Oh we have a great deal of difficulty thinking of what to feed her."
I believe the school now think they are deliberately starving Child X.
Child X also sometimes eats ice cream for breakfast and screams for up to half an hour until she gets her way.
My point is Child X is a tyrant who has her parents wrapped around her little finger. Child X is also totally selfish and my kids don't like her anymore. I just don't want to tell Daisy directly that Child X is a nightmare, or maybe I should.
I would so like to put Child X into some kind of boot camp for spoilt brats where they make kids eat generic chicken nuggets. I would love to hear her screams .... She needs sorting out that one does. Do you know any annoying spoilt brats and do you dare tell the parents they've raised a Little Hitler?
Who am I? Displaced Londoner now living in the States with my two little girlies and long suffering husband. Co-author of hilarious parenting book Cocktails at Naptime www.cocktailsatnaptime.com
My mom's an Austrian, my dad's a Brit, which makes me a Britaustrian, or possibly an Austrish?