Monday, March 16, 2009

I wanna touch your Spandex


Panic!! What to wear to the 80s tribute band The Legwarmers concert tonight???



Okay I look hot but maybe lose the Pacamac?


And the hat


Okay, wow, yes, shoulderpads are go!


Okay, here we are at the venue. Why is everyone so freaking young? And why do I feel so old?



"Hey, Babyface, what you doing here? I mean, were you even born in the eighties?"
"No, but I was an ovum."


"Hey Babycakes, do you mind if I touch your rock hard head of hair?"
"Not at all. Go ahead Lady, make my day."

Do you remember the pungent smell of 80's hair gel? .... mmm ... the scent of industrial waste ... it's all coming back to me ... slow dance at the disco, getting fingers stuck in a very stiff gel-caked flat top? Anyone want to share their sentimental 80's memories??

37 comments:

xl said...

My favorite thing about the 80s was that it replaced the 70s.

Viking Zombie Boyfriend said...

80's nostalgia parties? I am officially old.

I gotta hand it to White Headband Dude, though; he is a dead ringer for one of the hundreds of Cories who were famous in that benighted decade.

MJ said...

I don't recall lending you my tights.

Oh Hai XL!

scarlet-blue said...

I liked the hat and mac...!
Sx

electro-kevin said...

Your funny bugger. A total hoot !!!

Mrs E-K caught me looking at this post.

Boy, I'm in trouble !

xxx

the projectivist said...

what's the secret for those legs, Emma? crunches? marathons? leg liposuction?

when i think of the 80's, i think of George Michael and Careless Whisper.
i never did improve my taste in men.

Kate Lord Brown said...

So many crimes against fashion but the 80s were glorious ... Hard rock hairspray. Stu-stu-Studio Line gel. Peroxide. BIG hair. Kouros (boys) Poison (girls). White stilletos, lycra minidresses, massive jackets (sleeves rolled up, natch). Legwarmers and/or fingerless gloves. 'Teabag' t-shirts. Yards of pearls & earrings the size of doorknockers. (And the kids now think they invented bling :) You looked fabulous daahling x

Media Junkie said...

i remember kids incorporated and rainbow bright and a few other 80's children programming. I'm a child of the 80's.

EmmaK said...

XL...
I dunno, the '70s seemed to be full of sunshine and big flared trousers and lots of colorful sweaters. Altogether a feel good time and also there was ABBA who I adore. The '80s were okay only I remember thinking the clothes were godawful even then especially pinstriped tight jeans.

Viking Zombie Boyfriend...
I know, I know, these young folk thought they actually looked cool in the headbands etc. It's time for us to purchase our zimmerframes!

MJ...
You didn't lend me them, I had XL climb through the window to steal them.

You are my fashion leader and I wanted to see whether that was a ladder in your tights or just a stairway to heaven.

scarlet-blue...
Well the hat and the mac were okay they just didn't go with the rest of the shocking pink ensemble.

electro-kevin...
Boy, I'm in trouble !
Sorry my dear, I can't help it it if shocking pink is my colour!

the projectivist...
I was born with good legs but I suppose I do walk a hell of a lot.

i never did improve my taste in men.
I absolutely adore George. I saw him recently in concert, he was so funny and charming. I would have married him on the spot if he wasn't gay.

Kate Lord Brown...
Peroxide.
Me too. I died my hair peroxide orange
WHY
WHY
WHY??

Media Junkie...
I remember the Cabbage Patch Kids. My mom never bought me one and I wanted one of those ugly critters so bad.

moi said...

I was a punk rocker with a Jell-O dyed Mohawk whose fashion muse was Nina Hagen. Not an easy thing to pull off in Albuquerque, New Mexico.

BTW, you ROCK that pink!

Misssy M said...

Sometimes I think my entire blog is one big 80s sentimental memory. I would have gone as a Goth. In fact, I'd pretty much go to anything as a Goth if I could get away with it.

EmmaK said...

moi...photos ...please

MisssyM....I just want you to know I didn't wear hot pink leggings etc in the eighties. I wore ripped Levis and polo shirts or tube skirts and Frankie Says Relax t-shirts. Intrigued you were a goth - you do not seem gloomy. Maybe as a teen?

Cunning_Linguist said...

Thanks for the flash of zebra print bra and upskirt. It does a Cunning good.

Don't....


Don't you want me.....

EmmaK said...

cunning linguist....
The way I see it is like this:

I was working as a waitress in a cocktail bar
That much is true
But even then I knew Id find a much better place
Either with or without you
The five years we have had have been such good times
I still love you
But now I think its time I lived my life on my own
I guess its just what I must do

[no hard feelings? hugs]

Cunning_Linguist said...

You better change it back or we will both be sorry.....


I hope everybody here understands what's going on between Emma and I. You see, back when I first saw her it was a long time ago. We have a lot of history. It was 1987 and our eyes met on the dance floor..... I still remember the lines she fell for that I had practiced so many times on my own.

Moving on the floor now babe you're a bird of paradise.
Cherry ice cream smile I suppose it's very nice
With a step to your left and a flick to the right
You catch that mirror way out west
You know you're something special and you look like you're the best.

She fell for it hook line and sinker. Ever since then it's been a love hate relationship. She still spins me round round right round....

Ana said...

Memories: Chess King (did they have those in merry old England?), skinny knit ties, tube socks and vintage high heels, Bananarama driving the shit out of that semi-tractor trailer whilst hurling banana skins (how ironic) behind them. Long sweaters and big belts, spiral perms and headbands. Oh, and making out to Adam Ant. And if a push comes to a shove, and we have to call it love, then, baby, I'll do it. Baby, I'll do it.

Steve said...

I can remember the wonderful sound of cheesey synths and the smell of hairspray everywhere as everyone tried desperately to keep their back combed hair upright. And trying to force my feet into black patent leather winklepinkers to finish off the goth look. The bunions are still with me.

garfer said...

I had a brief (thankfully) fling with a bird who was a huge Erasure fan. I should have known that an obsession with a warbling fat poof who liked to prance about in skin tight lycra hinted at bunny boiler tendencies.

Bad mistake.

Gorilla Bananas said...

I remember the pouting red lips, the cleavage and the thighs. The good things never change...

Jules said...

bubblegum jeans!! Imagine trying to squeeze childbearing thighs into those babies??

I had a handknitted jumper in the same pink shade, it had electric blue stars on it. I wore it with acid wash skin tight jeans with zips up the sides and kungfu shoes. And my poster of Kelly Slater on the wall. How old is that guy now? Yet he still looks so young. I so wanted to marry him.

fingers said...

I remember getting my fingers stuck in something but it wasn't a flat-top...

Donn Coppens said...

Holy Bananarama Batman!

You luk Mahvaloose Dahling!

The 80s were great because dancing was back..and not the 60s head bobbing on-the-spot stoned-out-of-y'er-ass acid-flashback hippy-jig and it wasn't disco...no no no..

the electric future was happening now (except for the hair metal) and it had that techno synth boombox the world is gonna end so we are nihilists and we're all gonna die so let's wear loud colours and BIG HAIR and pogo!

Pump up da volume
pump up da volume
pump da volume
DANCE! DANCE!

What can I say, when ya got it, ya got it!
Pretty HOT in Pink

Clyde said...

Wanna touch your rock hard-----
Hair----no, that wasn't it
Come on Mum, stop touching the children
Oh, OK if you must

EmmaK said...

cunning linguist....
Is that the lines I fell for? I was a little pissed on Bacardi and Coke at the time and I thought the line that made me drop my knickers was:

You could have a big dipper
going up and down, all around the bends
you could have a bumper car, bumping
the amusement never ends

Thanks for all the fairground fun. You certainly didn't dissapoint on the merry go round!

Ana...
No they did not have Chess King in merry old England but I have googled it and found it to be a "faux-upscale" 80's designer wear store.

Ooh Adam Ant was so cute - practically the only male who has ever looked good in makeup.

Steve...
Yeah, I had a big backcombed quiff for a few months in 1985 but the amount I had to spend on hairspray was eating into my fag budget so I gave it up and had my hair cut in a bob.

garfer...
I should have known that an obsession with a warbling fat poof who liked to prance about in skin tight lycra hinted at bunny boiler tendencies.

LOL!!!
Still you live and learn eh?

Gorilla Bananas...
If you give me enought banana splits I'll always be ready with a pout and a pair of lips.

EmmaK said...

jules....
I am proud to say I never wore acid wash jeans but I do remember wearing an electric blue cowlneck.

fingers...
Come on now let's not beat around the bush. Are you saying you got your fingers stuck in an unruly bush back in the eighties? How did you free them, did you need gardening shears?

Donn Coppens...
Actually I remember thinking the 80s were pretty lame back then, a bit too bright and colorful and cheerful. I think I would have been happier being a stoned teen in the 70s listening to Led Zep except you wore those really ugly cheesy flares back then so I don't know ...

Clyde...
oh for God's sake Clyde, he SAID he was over 18, don't judge me
;)

xl said...

Like your Irish Prostitution Service video!

EmmaK said...

XL....Thanks! We are doing a roaring trade. I found a gap in the market and pounced on it. MJ is green with envy of course.

The Krankies said...

Hey, we were big in the eighties, and we're talking huge bananas.

Kathryn said...

'80s kid all the way...I bought Rainbow Brite and the Star Stealer last month. Total gold.

Donn Coppens said...

Don't get me wrong I LOVED the 70s. I just can't remeber much of it. Spent a tad too much time melting into the walls listening to Bebop Deluxe, Eno, Roxy and Aphrodite's Child!
HELLO The Four Horsemen cr-anked to 11 is still the best guitar bit ever recorded.

I also loved grinning for hours on end whilst listening to Marley in the proper frame of mind :)

But before the rituals of Life began to overtake my free time the early 80s were Elvis, Police, Clash and U2 was still a garage band...

so I flipped my collar up wore red shoes and made the most of it. Soon thereafter the stark realisation that brain cells were finite pretty much ruined everything. Damnit!

Clyde said...

Well, as long as he said he was 18 then why not.
Geez, where were you when I was 18

VE said...

Did you bring you cassettes and boom box to jam with? Crazy fun!

EmmaK said...

VE....oh yeah, of course I did. It was great. I felt like a virgin, touched for the very first time.

Memphis Steve said...

My favorite thing about the 80s was how hot the women were. Compared to 70s women the women of the 80s were sex goddesses.

jford said...

Memphis Steve, that is because by the 80's the women of the 70s were a little maturer, self-confident and expressive on their own terms. Now hot and sexy is that!

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Heather said...

fabulous, darlink, just fabulous!