Monday, April 20, 2009

Everyone's a Winner Baby!

The most optimistic and inspiring person in the blogosphere, the luscious and literary Kate, has graciously awarded MHAH the Noblesse Oblige award. It is the blog equivalent of an Oscar, and I'm deeply touched.

The recipient of this award is recognised for the following:

1) The Blogger manifests exemplary attitude, respecting the nuances that pervades amongst different cultures and beliefs.
2) The Blog contents inspire; strives to encourage and offers solutions.
3) There is a clear purpose at the Blog; one that fosters a better understanding on Social, Political, Economic, the Arts, Culture and Sciences and Beliefs.
4) The Blog is refreshing and creative.
5) The Blogger promotes friendship and positive thinking.

The Blogger who receives this award will need to perform the following steps:

1) Create a Post with a mention and link to the person who presented the Noblesse Oblige Award.
2) The Award Conditions must be displayed at the Post.
3) Write a short article about what the Blog has thus far achieved – preferably citing one or more older post to support.
4) The Blogger must present the Noblesse Oblige Award in concurrence with the Award conditions.
5) Blogger must display the Award at any location at the Blog.

What has MHAH achieved? Well, I suppose I am just a helpless trapped victim of the blogosphere. Blogging is an addiction that has taken up much of my life. But it has also been a comfort because my number one favorite thing in a person is a sense of humor and ability to keep me entertained. And in real life these kinds of people are few and far between. So the blogosphere has kept me connected to some of the loveliest and funniest people on the planet.

And now, [drumroll] for the The Awards

The Awards go to:

Fingers, who is a mentally deranged legend in his own lunchbox. A man so funny he will make you wet yourself he also has an unfortunate fixation with women who have long gazelle legs (why not marry a gazelle eh fingers?) He says he is still single at fifty because he is too picky but it may be because he uses such hilarious yet unfruitful chat up lines as:

To a slightly-built chick who’s just wondered out loud what the pain of childbirth might be like and confessed she’s more than a little frightened by the prospect of the ordeal he said…’Well when you get home tonight take a #12 chicken out of the freezer and see if it will fit up your nose without any discomfort.’

To a well-mannered chick who’s just mentioned how embarrassing it is when her male Labrador humps the legs of her dinner guests under the table and is at her wit’s end as to what to do to curb his disgusting habit he said…’Have you tried sucking the dog off before the guests arrive.’

Fingers is an acquired taste. Try him you may like him. He's finger lickin' good.

Captain Smack. Captain Smack started his career as the bearded model in The Joy of Sex and now writes his hilarious blog while busily trying to rot his superior intelligence with drugs. He has also masturbated with toothpaste. This multitalented bearded genius can also sing and has a very sexy voice.

Steve is a self confessed chubby chaser who adores women who are covered in flab and whipped cream. He once told me - when I complained about the rings of flab on my stomach that he would "caress yours lovingly and do rude things to them with my tongue in the style of a French courtier." What can I say? With those words Steve had me, hook line and sinker. If you don't know Steve you will soon love him.

Electro-Kevin - I have to mention him because he is my number one fan and if I don't he'll go off on one. He tends to go on a bit about how England has gone to the Chavs but generally speaking he is a really sweet guy who is a train driver with an unfortunate penchant for bunny ears.

MJ at Infomaniac. This blog is not for the fainthearted - there are images on this that even the most hardened pervert may have trouble digesting including bananas used in creative sexual ways and some of the most unattractive men on the planet (nude to boot). But MJ's blog so clearly fosters a better understanding on Social, Political, Economic, the Arts, Culture and Sciences and Beliefs that she had to be included. It is actually something of a mystery how she has the time to write a blog. When she is not indulging in all night orgies she is in blogger rehab or posting large green elf pants around the globe. MJ you are my heroine!

Congratulations guys and girl and do pass on the Noblesse Oblige!!



electro-kevin said...

Not my best photo, I have to admit.

Steve said...

Truly I am honoured. Thank you. French courtier costume now back from the dry cleaners. Ready when you are.

jford said...

Congratulations Emma. You were an award winner in my book long ago. It is nice to see that the blogosphere is catching up!

EmmaK said...

jford....thanks! I have the award positioned somewhere where is it providing maximum pleasure!!

EmmaK said...

electro-kevin...I think you look pretty cute actually. I didn't want to put a half dressed pic of you up cos then you'd complain I was sexually objectifying you ;)

steve...I am perfuming my body in readiness and dusting myself with mashmallow fluff ...I will await you at midnight. Will quaff a few more eclairs to get the flab 'just so' for you.

MJ said...

That photo was taken at one of my last parties! I vaguely remember being there but I do remember you hanging by your fingers off the side of the glass.

Now you can see why I had to go into rehab.

And speaking of rehab, they won’t allow me to accept awards whilst under their supervision.

Many thanks for your kind words and I hope you’ll continue to drop by during my electroshock therapy.

p.s. Should I stock up on Tena Ladies before I visit Fingers’ blog?

EmmaK said...

MJ....I hope your rehab is fun and that there are plenty of celebs there so you can blog and tell about them.

re fingers, I never read his blog without wearing adult diapers - it gets especially embarassing at the library if I am without the Tena ladies and start gushing.

I am keeping the award in a warm private place until such time as you can accept it. Get your mind out of the gutter, no, old knudsen has told me he is 'keeping it safe' for Mistress MJ - will need bleaching no doubt.

Conortje said...

Wow, I've always dreamed of this moment - ever since I was a little boy singing into shampoo bottles... what? I didn't get a prize? stomp. sulk.

moi said...

Congratulations, dahlink! And electro-kevin in bunny ears with a pibble? Be still Moi's heart.

EmmaK said... know what you need to do to win the prize: put on the bunny ears and take a photo.

moi...Electro-Kevin is one of the sexiest train drivers in the UK. I would love to get my hands on his engine some time.

Steve said...

Marshmallows, eclairs and flab. Mmm. Starter, main and dessert. That's what I call fine dining.

fingers said...

Look, I don't want to sound ungrateful but just exactly what's in this award for me ??
There's no cash as far as I can tell...just more work...

EmmaK said...

fingers....I dunno I thought you might just be pleased that I appreciate you!

fingers said...

You know I do, you saucy minx...