They wanted me to tell them that Obama was the anti-christ but I just couldn't do it.
Maybe my blood sugar level was low, maybe my thong was too tight. All I know is that while at a playground with my daughter a.k.a Sausage I found myself talking to a FOX Reporter. Now before you boycott this blog let me just say in my defence that I am a fame whore and will prostitute myself on right wing media just to get my face on the Tube. So the issue was that talk Obama is having broadcast to schools on Wednesday about the innocuous subject of 'work hard at school.' The FOX Reporter filmed me and asked me to talk about whether I thought that Obama was secretly a Nazi and whether he wanted to get to the kids and manipulate their tiny brain stems so they'd immediately go home and scream, 'We don't want no healthcare reform mommy!'
Well I said I thought the broadcast would be utterly harmless.
Big mistake. Huge mistake.
It meant I didn't get on TV. Luckily Sausage (the blonde pushing swing) did (see clip here). She denied all knowledge of Obama. I am so proud of her. No one could ever politically manipulate her (unless of course they offered her an ice cream, then she'd vote for anyone).
Can you forgive me? Please?
Or have you done things for fame you'd rather forget?
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24 comments:
Also they probably wanted someone more "American" sounding, and your accent made you sound to intellectual for American ears LOL
Hey, your shoulder and nose got on! Maybe the springboard to a body parts modeling career?
My thong has never been tight enough to see me prostitute my soul for anyone or any belief. Alas. I can't help feeling I'm missing out.
You weren't scandalous enough to make the cut on TV. You should prepare some scandalous one-liners just in case you have another opportunity. I dunno... something like: I think "The Public Option" would be a great name for a p*rno.
Pwn Star, of course you meant "The Pubic Option."
And I hate to say it... but from my experience with Fox 45, even though they're the same company, they're not as evil as Fox News. So don't feel too bad.
I've never sought fame - always shied away from it.
You're a remarkable person, Emma. I wouldn't be at all surprised if you become famous one day.
BTW - I've been on TV many times through police work and railway (having often been in cutting-edge areas such as specialist teams).
I once gave out a medal on Jim'll Fix It you know !
yay! I pimped myself out in high school all the time to get on t.v. Young Republicans, Model U.N., Academic Decathlon...
It was pretty obvious that I wasn't a Republican to every one else, but I was cuter and funnier than all those other douchebags...
Hmm, I'd better have a look at those knickers immediately!
Hehehehe, you funny, funny girl... sure I've tried to do things for fame...and though I didn't achieve fame, I still did those things nonetheless... and no, this did not involve me being naked with a goat and a midget dressed like Mr. T...hahahaha!
I was once accidentally filmed in a coffeeshop buying weed when some US news team were doing a report in Amsterdam ;-)
The reporter announced the title 'Drugs in Holland' and the camera panend around to the reddening face of Conortje!
Great clip: that bit at the beginning about the interior furnishings were the most-balanced bit of FOX footage I've evr seen.
electro-kevin...JEALOUS about meeting Jim! I wrote to Jim'll Fix It several times to meet Abba. Never got on did I! The people who got on were always saddos who wanted to look at the biggest stamp collection in the world etc. I don't mean you (digging self into hole)
xl....Yes! A body parts modeling career. I am pretty sure my shoulder is a dead wringer for Sienna Miller's. I think you could be onto something there!
conortje.....Hope your gran didn't see that!
organic meatbag...I'd love to see your homemade porn sometime. Or maybe not. Maybe I'll settle for your homemade organic meatloaf.
badside...yeah you really need to stretch them out a bit for me they're cutting off my circulation.
kevin musgrove....so true!
Steve...face it ...some of us are just born fame whores....I believe you are more like Penrod "Penry" Pooch, the mild mannered janitor from Hong Kong Phooey
Pwn Star....Jesus I did mess up didn't I? I will be ready with my one liners next time.
OM....good point. Fox45 are just filler in a hamburger not arsenic sprinkled into said hamburger to make population sick.
Emma, I can't believe you thought the broadcast would be harmless.
What if some of his message gets through to just some of the kids ??
What if just ONE child decides to listen and stay in school and work hard and go on to make a better life for himself ??
It could start an intellectual avalanche which may threaten the entire cult of celebrity and mediocrity on which the US is based.
Then where would we be ??
Up to our ears in graduates and achievers and horrifically short of skilled models and vapid performers/spotspersons...
fingers.... Oh Jesus thanks for pointing out the errors of my ways.
You are right, there should always be more skilled models and vapid performers/sportspersons than engineers, lawyers etc. If you ever get into philanthropy maybe you could fund some schools of learning for 'Really really good-looking people' like Zoolander. You could maybe run some of the classes on 'how to get out of a car without showing your minge' as well as for sportspeople 'how to sleep with prostitutes without doing a Hugh Grant/Divine Brown and getting caught.' Food for thought?
If you really want a spot on Fox you do need to be prepared: "Obama is a foreign-born communistic Hitler who wants to implant radio controllers in your children's brains ready for when his alien friends come to take over" should do it.
Sheesh. Fox News. What can I say?
And to think Murdock père et fils are campaigning against the unfair anti-competitive behaviour of the BBC!
Ro....I am working on my speech for next time I am interviewed but am having trouble with the Texas accent.
It's a good point, and maybe taking a different tack would be sensible. You need to find a way to roll criticism of the UK into your conversation; Fox loves a Brit-bashing slant to the whole thing.
Perhaps something like "Obama is a foreign-born communistic Hitler who wants to implant radio controllers in your children's brains ready for when his alien friends come to take over, just like the Nazi NHS doctors in the UK are already doing".
No matter what I've done, I don't think it measures up to dealing with Fox. Actually I did do a radio interview with a Californian talk show only to find out later that it was part of the Fox network, but I didn't know at the time and it wasn't about politics so I really don't think that counts!!
I'll bet the shoulder shot was quite racy. Good job.
expat mum...apparently as OM said Fox45 is not as bad as FOX News. So I feel a bit better now.
otherworldlyone....indeed. I have had several offers to star in shoulder fetish magazines.
Emma,
The only reason they didn't put you on the telly was because they didn't want you making the FOX babes look mediocre.
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