Thursday, February 18, 2010

Who Wants To Marry A Millionaire?


There are many problems with the idea of feminism - most of which have to do with the fact that the world we live in is so far from being equal between men and women that it is maybe better not to be financially and emotionally self-sufficient but to piggyback off of the men's huge financial assets.

In Smart Girls Marry Money - a very astute book I just read - the female authors risk being pelted with eggs by feminists but make many salient points about how a clever woman should tackle who to marry while her ovaries are in peak freshness. They are:

1. That money and the marrying of it is essential for women, because, given the current working culture, women are rarely able to earn as much as men — especially after children.

2. Should their marriage end — as nearly half do — in divorce, it’s a fact that women rarely bounce back, either professionally or financially, as easily as men. The female divorcée, they cruelly add, is unlikely to spring back romantically either, unless she is some kind of a Liz Hurley version of a fortysomething.

3. Romantic love is a silly thing to base a marriage on.

4. Sexual fulfilment is primarily dependent on discovering yourself through masturbation (TRUE).

5. That it is imperative to marry young, while you have the seductive powers of the sexually attractive and fecund.

6. To be aware that men are prone to trading up, “once you no longer have great skin or look great in jeans”.

So what do you think? Is is worth marrying for money as a main point in choosing a spouse? It looks like this makes a huge amount of sense until society reaches such a point when women's primary allure to men are no longer youth, a couple of pert breasts and a fertile womb.

If and when we start growing babies in tanks and women lose their maternal instinct and the need to caress tiny baby clothes in shops while wailing "I want a baby!" then the idea of male/female equality might have a fighting chance.

But the last time I looked we shared 95 per cent of our genes with apes and most men want to marry a woman of equal age or many years younger if they are old codgers.

Personally speaking I would be in a tailspin if I hadn't married someone who while not rolling in it is extremely fiscally responsible. One of the most puzzling things people say is : Money Doesn't Buy You Happiness. But money totally does. It gives you freedom to leave bad situations, to change jobs, to remake your life, to remove any number of unpleasant factors from your life. Without enough money you are just totally stuck in whatever shit life throws at you.

So ladies, was the bulge of his wallet more or less important than the bulge in his trousers when you chose your spouse?

And gents, do you feel you have been financially expoited by women since the day your testicles dropped?

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38 comments:

xl said...

"financially exploited by women"

Never. Of course, I have no money. So I guess that's why.

Macy said...

I read somewhere that the woman who marries for money works for it.

You can't ignore money, but it would take a lot of money to compensate for cruelty and arrogance 24 hours a day.

Have to be a really good divorce settlement if you were "retired" at 35 too.

Ro said...

I was once wed to a woman who treated me as a walking wallet. It didn't make me feel good; there aren't enough compensations available to make up for that.

I suspect the secret when you marry a man for his money is to let him kid himself that you didn't.

When we got divorced she manipulated me ruthlessly to (now, what's the phrase?) take me for everything I had. I guess I co-operated.

Now I don't have money so no one can marry me for it. And it's a little depressing to read that women are being urged to ignore me because of that fact.

Still, I guess "rich" is relative.

Gorilla Bananas said...

Learning how to wank is essential, because no amount of beauty will ever compensate for being frigid. A woman who openly announced herself as a beautiful, gold-digging wanker would probably be irresistible to most rich men.

Jaime said...

i still have my own bank accounts and hubby has his... as long as it doesn't affect our ability to pay household bills, we can spend that money however we want...

i'd much rather have a guy who can use that bulge in his pants well than someone with a fat wallet

fingers said...

Money not only makes you happy; it makes misery much easier to handle too.
I'm always surprised at how little attention I get from chicks considering how fabulously wealthy I am; obviously I must be a really, really special kind of asshole...

unique_stephen said...

Women are so unashamedly mercantile about relationships. Yet so ready to bag men out for what they want out of a relationship.

A loving partner, life long friend and companion and unlimited sexual novelty and variety.

Girls need to consider how easy it is for a guy to have an awesome life and get everything he wants without having to undertaking the 50% risk of entering into a marriage that breaks down and results in him being taken to the cleaners or if it doesn't break down then at best provides him with limited presumably monogamous sex whilst she ages and slowly turns off the tap

It's cheaper in the long-term for a guy to maintain close friendships with his mates, strive to find a few FWB relationships and augment the ocasional one night stand with professional services and porn.
You can stay in a nice flat and don't have to pay school fees and medical care etc. that way.

Not many Married blokes get to snowboard in Steamboat take the waitress home..

fingers said...

Gee Stephen, did you manage to work those delightful sentiments into your wedding vows at some point...

Max said...

Whoever says "all you need love" is blowing smoke out of his ass. All you need is money to back that love.

Money is power, and confident men are the ones who go out there to get that money. And women are attracted to bread-winners. You won't find a lot of girls sticking with jobless douchebags. Some do initially because he's "dark and handsome" but dark and handsome sits on the couch all day eating Doritos watching UFC in his boxers.

Money is a tool that can make life a bit better. It takes me on grand vacations, ride the motorcycles I want and spoil my wife in ways she couldn't have imagined.

What is more impressive to a woman on Valentines day: A heart-felt love letter or a Tiffany's necklace?

I had to bring a letter of employment and a 6-month bank statement to my first date.

Memphis Steve said...

Despite all our moralizing about how women who go for rich guys are gold diggers and men who go for hot girls are shallow, the fact is our brains are somewhat wired that way whether we think they 'should be' or not. Men are designed to want to reproduce with young, fertile, healthy females, and what we view as attractive is, for the most part, indicators of good health. And women are designed to want to reproduce with men who are, not only in good health, but also going to provide for all their needs and protect them while they are pregnant or saddled with babies and dependent on him. You can call it intelligent design or evolution or whatever you want. Researchers keep finding the same thing again and again, it's how our brains work. We want what we want and the reasons for it, for the most part, are very basic - survival.

So, there is a reason guys like young girls with perky, high, firm breasts and thick, long, beautiful hair. And there is a reason those same girls like guys with flashy cars and nice clothes who seem like they have plenty of money. We just like to moralize that these reasons shouldn't be.

Now if you want to really get deep, let's talk about why those girls so often go for guy who are not only rich, but huge assholes.

Steve said...

Well, I'm certainly skint since being married but then I wasn't exactly rolling in money beforehand. Guess I'm just good in bed.

Steph said...

Here's a novel idea- make your own freakin money!
I don't and won't ever need a man to provide for me, my mumma taught me that.

Clyde said...

Gee, I wish I had known that woman marry with a divorce plan.
I actually thought you got married with that silly idea that it was love and it would last forever.
For better or worse
Not for dick or dollar.

I todays economy in most countries. it is unfortunate that most young mothers have to go back to work to help keep the family afloat----If you are not prepared for that, you are unrealisic

Hetty Sorrel said...

Not as the main point, but the older you get the more you have to think about practicalities, and certainly don't have kids if you can't afford to feed and clothe them.

EmmaK said...

Steph....I suppose my point is a lot of women are just plain daft about who they marry. Then five years down the line there's divorce and kids and they may not be able to get back on the career track and then they are financially fucked. I don't think you should marry mainly for money but you should take it into account when picking a partner. People like you who are very self sufficient are the exception rather than the rule amongst the laydees ;) ..... or haven't you noticed the flakes/freaks your mates end up marrying????

EmmaK said...

Max....What is more impressive to a woman on Valentines day: A heart-felt love letter or a Tiffany's necklace?

personally I'd prefer the love letter or better yet all the year round taking out of trash, general housework etc.

EmmaK said...

Ro....I was just exaggerating the case by putting Millionaire in the heading...as long as you are fiscally responsible and don't put all your money on the horses I think you will be a good catch for someone. That is if you want to get caught!! :)

Gorilla Bananas.....
Well said.....!!! frigidity is mainly something the woman has to work/wank through herself and not blame the man so much. Although that said some men are hopeless (no doubt some women too!!) in bed

EmmaK said...

unique stephen...

A loving partner, life long friend and companion and unlimited sexual novelty and variety.

yes great but you also need someone who is going to earn a steady wage. Yes the woman can do that too but I'm just not the steady wage earning type - some women are though I suppose.

limited presumably monogamous sex whilst she ages and slowly turns off the tap
Why do you always think monogamous sex is 'limiting' it really depends on who you are doing with in my experience. Anyway your wife hasn't turned off her tap so quit your wingeing!!

EmmaK said...

Clyde....
it is unfortunate that most young mothers have to go back to work to help keep the family afloat----
yes it is unfortunate...and I don't think it is good for the kids or for society

luckily I got lucky and don't have to go back to work because I have to make ends meet and can be with the kids

EmmaK said...

Steve.....
so modest!!! lol

Jaime....yeah he should be able to use the bulge in pants but size does not guarantee satisfaction in my experience!! ;)

fingers....maybe you need to ride around in a red penis extension sports car and generally pose around in designer pastel golf wear looking like a bell end if you really want to attract the gold diggers.

EmmaK said...

memphis steve...as you are the only intellectual here (the thinking woman's crumpet) let's try and get to grips with the times....

There seem to be two opposing trends,the first is:
women generally are 1. not as aggressive 2. not as career orientated as men and probably never will be - also they are trying to fit into the male workplace and it doesn't work too well ie not much room for part time if you want to move up career ladder

On the other hand it is wierd that in many countries the birth rate is practically zero: Germany, Austria, italy ..... seems many women prefer to work than have kids ?

two opposing messages? not sure if that means eventually we will go back more to the way it was ..mum at home etc or whether there will simply be a third tier of women (sub culture) who's sole use will be to bear kids - we can already see that in the 'baby farms' in India where indian women en masse in hospital type environments bear kids for rich westerners

EmmaK said...

Hetty Sorrel....Yes I agree wholeheartedly with you on this.

Hot Cross Mum said...

Unfortunately I didn't notice any bulging anywhere other than just over the waistband of his trousers. But I still married him!!

Ro said...

"That is if you want to get caught!!"

That depends on who's doing the chasing :-)

Joanna Cake said...

I want to earn enough money to be financially independent of any man. Then I can choose who I want to sleep with on the basis of how good he is to me... in bed and in life generally!

Ruf has no money so there's no point in me turning into Gollum every time we walk past a jewellery store (Thank you, Russell Howard from Mock The Week, that phrase made my day)

People tell me Im being too fair about financial arrangements over my divorce. 'Take him for all his worth,' I hear. Pah! I still have to live with myself at the end of all this and to squeeze him dry would be counter-productive if I want to retain the respect of my children.

Crystal Jigsaw said...

Interesting post. As my husband is 20 years older than me perhaps he married me for my pert breasts and little bottom. Then again, maybe not. I've never been maternal, never cradled a baby and thought I want one. I do have a daughter who is autistic and she's my whole life, but I was never a baby-woman, always preferred someone else to change the nappy etc.

I think money is important in life, very much so. But my husband doesn't have much which means I definitely didn't marry him for that reason. His warm heart attracted me. I know, reach for the bucket, but it's true. We work together running our own farm and sometimes relations can get a bit strained. But it's all about love and commitment for us. Can't remember what the sex was like!!

CJ xx

garfer said...

Money won't make you happy, but at least you can afford to be miserable in comfort.

El-Kevo said...

Marry for money. At least have it as a close second priority.

Trust me. There ain't nothing romantic about being piss poor.

EmmaK said...

Hot Cross Mum...

Unfortunately I didn't notice any bulging anywhere other than just over the waistband of his trousers.

lol
hope his huge bulge means he is a phenomenal cook!!

Ro...

That depends on who's doing the chasing :-)

A nude nymphet with a butterfly net and pert breasts perchance??


Joanna Cake...
I want to earn enough money to be financially independent of any man.

I know what you mean it is just a hassle having little kids and working full time for one such as myself!!

Crystal Jigsaw...
Interesting post
just putting the cat among the pigeons and seeing what response I got....I am not that mercenary (REALLY!!)

Can't remember what the sex was like!!

ha ha

garfer
Absolutely, there is nothing more depressing than a bar heater or a Calorgas heater. Let's at least have central heating as a backdrop to our misery!

El-Kevo
There is a certain romance to being poor and living in a mouldy bedsit when you're a student but it about ends there - and the only reason its romantic then is because one/I was pissed on cider/cheap plonk most of the time.

Mermaid of Moorgate said...

I'm too old to be attractive to narcissistic millionaires, too young to be attracted by desperate old guys. I prefer the younger male. I've found they will do anything for you, provided that

a) you look good in jeans (I do, just not the US size 2 I used to be)

b) your skin is great (it's called CLINIQUE AND LOTS OF IT.

A young man who can keep me in clinique has got to be a keeper.

EmmaK said...

mermaid of moorgate...
I am married to a younger one and frankly the disadvantage is sometimes he has TOO much energy. But happy hunting!!

Metropolitan Mum said...

Oh Emma. I love you for this post. And the comments brought tears to my eyes, too.

I don't think money itself is attractive (although for some women it is, think WAGs). But success and the eagerness to achieve things in life is. At least it is for me.

EmmaK said...

metropolitan mum...while I adore you I do have a couple of bones to pick
1. You lounging about in St Lucia drinking cocktails while the rest of us are shovelling snow is a little bit hard to cope with
2. That word verification thingy on your blog - it is like fort knox and I only sometimes get through I wonder if you could change it
3. In awe of your computer skills. To this day I have no idea how to put a retweet button on my blog - maybe you could enlighten me?

Leidra Lawson said...

Great post, I will repost this to my Sugar Daddy 101 group on Yahoo. I believe that women can fall in love...only with someone that has money. Esp. if they plan on having children. Women have to be very aware that once they have kids they are going to have lifelong financial changes if they divorce a man that doesn't have money. I am glad that someone wrote a book that talks straight about these issues. Marry a millionaire or until you can find one, get a sugar daddy

Leidra, author of Sugar Daddy 101

EmmaK said...

Leidra Lawson...yeah get a sugar daddy if you can but I just meant to be sensible one should marry someone who is a good worker and financially secure rather than some flaky artist who will never be able to make the alimony payments. Thanks for the repost!!

Metropolitan Mum said...

Because I love you so much: http://www.bloggerplugins.org/2009/08/retweet-button-for-blogger.html

:)

PS: Can't get rid of the clickcha. Otherwise I'll end up with about 260 spam comments per day. Not fun, as I have to delete them one by one...

EmmaK said...

metropolitan mum...thanks but I still can't get the retweet button to work.

Modern Military Mother said...

I married for love and the bulge in his pants! Big mistake! I agree 100% with this article and I am a feminazi. Get smart ladies - use your head not your heart.

Now very annoyingly I have to work out how to get us rich!! Although I am still happily riding the bulge while I work it out!