No...not that! My husband has had a vasectomy so that would be ...awkward. But I was thinking about pregnancy and how its pretty competitive from day one:
And so I decided to write about the topic. My piece Competitive Pregnancy - the race is on is now over at the Cuddledry blog! So do pop over and check it out and let me know what you think. Here's a quote from it:
And don't forget to leave a comment about whether you were a Stickthin or Supersizer!!
I think we both know which side of the divide I fell. Sometimes you just have to listen to what your pregnant body needs, ya know?
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23 comments:
I cheated. I adopted.
xl...oh but darling I just know if you were female and fertile you would have LOVED to have experienced the miracle of birth ie the shoving of a camel through the eye of a needle
Nooooooooooooooo!
I cheated even more and bought a dog.
Sx
We are so blessed.
Consider this...the Imagineer of the entire Multiverse has revealed himself to a single species of Primate, us.
Not only that, but he gave the first two humans one simple rule, which "SHE" broke within about half an hour.
So, as a punsihment, the Imagineer made childbirth a living hell for everyone for eternity.
Isn't that special.
Of course this is a competition, women are insane about oudoing each other. In the beginning it started with plates in lips and stacking dozens of rings around the neck.
By the 1950s it was tight sweaters and footwear...but a pregnant gal can't compete because her feet are swollen and she's not going to be caught dead in tight clingy ugly f&^#$ sweater!!!
You are spot on...I think that women compete during the pregnancy to practice competing through their children for the next 25 years when they finally leave the nest and the charade of a marriage disintegrates when the husband leaves his wife for her freshly widowed best friend who lived down the street and always wore those tight sweaters to their barbeque parties...bitch!
On any given day on the Discovery channel you'll hear that a "normal" woman is supposed to carry an extra 20 pounds because that is the minimum caloric ballast required to reproduce.
The catch 22 is that modern females who are fitness conscious will have uberhealthy HUGE "human calves" that will have to be pulled out by a vet!
Meanwhile the "au natural" obese cheetoh addicts are so high risk that they will require special teams of surgeonauts that must be shrunk by magic lasers and flown in through the hoohaw in microscopic shuttles.
All because of one stupid apple!
I'm a man. The competition to get my wife to accept me and my advances was tough enough.
OK, heading there now.
You nearly had me there! Sorry not been commenting Emma. Been off piste. Back now though!
Bahahaha, you should totally read madnessmomandme. I feel like you guys have a similar sense of humor. Keep up the good work! Oh, and I cheated even more than adopting or buying a dog and got a CAT. lol
So true. At our antenatal class 're-union' I can remember sitting watching these crazy women trying to out-do each other. 'I needed stitches.' 'I had an episiotomy' and I'll never forget this one women say quietly 'I had a third degree tear.' Silence. No one wants to win that much do they !?
good to know the competitive pregnancy furor is not isolated to the states.
I hadn't thought about that before but I suppose you are right. I, however, as usualy was in my own little world. I hated being pregnant, which may be why I got preenclampsia (twice!)
BTW --apparently you can get cadbury flakes at Cost Plus (is there one near you?)
You can't beat a bit of competitiveness. Stickthin all the way, naturally...
I've written a post on this too :o)
MM
www.martinimummy.com
scarlet blue.....
I cheated even more and bought a dog
what kind of dog?
pictures please - but please draw the line at dressing him in a sailor outfit
donn w2Nz...
So, as a punishment, the Imagineer made childbirth a living hell for everyone for eternity.
oh come on Don I know you're just jealous that you haven't ever experienced the miracle of birth first hand lol!!
Yeah how did they stay fashionable and pregnant during the fifties??? Those wasp waist dresses were unforgiving to a burgeoning bump. I think the fashionable miss had to employ a body double to go out as them while they holed up at home barfing.
Steve...
As long as you always satisfied your pregnant wife's cravings by driving out in middle of the night in snowstorm for a tuna and pistachio pizza you are all right in my book. Did you?
Misssy M...
Thank God for that I have missed you baby!
darlindame...
Thanks for dropping by I will check out your blog!!
scribblingmum...
'I had a third degree tear.'
lol!!
Yeah I know a woman who will tell anyone who will listen how she ended up with three holes and how they reconstructed her anus etc. Nice.
sweetsinnergwen...
Well actually I am writing in the States but I guess it is the same in UK too.
A Modern Mother...
BTW --apparently you can get cadbury flakes at Cost Plus (is there one near you?)
I don't think I am an ubermum who is gonna track down Flakes. I will have to make a USA choc product based easter cupcake!
Martini Mummy...
I popped over to your place and just found out I left a comment - twice - and I can't even say I am senile dure to pregnancy
The downside with dogs is that they don't live as long as humans.
I await my next puppy!
Sx
Well, that would have been truly awkward. But a great story to put on the blog.
I dreamt the other night I discovered I was 20 (!!!) weeks pregnant. Now THAT was awkward.
metropolitanmum....re your dream you are in that odd state many women get into - they have one baby and when it turns about one you think ooh well wouldn't it be nice to have another one - this parenting lark isn't so hard after all and then you promptly get up the duff. What people FORGET is that the 1st year providing you don't have a colicky baby is really the easiest ....if I were you I'd hold off a little longer!! that said mine are 2 and a half years apart - and I have to say when the two of them were baby/toddler it was tough although now they are good friends when they are not bashing the life out of eachother
scarlet blue... I am not much of a dog lover but I did recently fall in love with a Newfoundland/lab mix puppy who just flops around the house like a big fat sausage. I don't like those dogs who jump up at you or lick your face or shag your leg ya know??
Yep, I like big floppy daft dogs that need cuddling.
Sx
Oh to have been a stickthin pregnant woman.
From the back I was ok, but from the side I looked like Mr Greedy. It doesn't pay to be 5'00'' and pregnant!
Great posting!
You fed your babba a Maccie 'D' in the womb ? There was a risk of low birth weight, you know.
You should have tried Kentucky instead. Tender meat and for a tenner they'll fill your bucket.
"As long as you always satisfied your pregnant wife's cravings by driving out in middle of the night in snowstorm for a tuna and pistachio pizza you are all right in my book. Did you?"
I was up at midnight making coal and ketchup sandwiches. I'm a saint I am.
Electro-Kevin...oh yeah I had the worst cravings for Big Macs while up the duff. No low birth weight though, first baby was nearly nine pounds second one nine and a half!!! But I only had like three macs a week.
GOOD........................................
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