Well I return battered and bruised from a weekend at an amusement park. And such was the humor of this photo I took that I thought hey why not have a caption competition? So, put your captions in the comments section by Friday at which point I will randomly draw a winner. And remember, politically incorrect captions are most welcome.
So as for prizes. Well if you are yourself a frog I can send you a couple of juicy flies. I was in a county near here called Essex recently and actually saw the grossest thing ever - a live bait dispenser where fisheman (I presume) could get live maggots out of a machine. But assuming that most of you aren't a frog the winner will receive a copy of my hilarious book Cocktails at Naptime which will be published in Australia by Finch Publishing in October (so okay it may be a while before you get the book but I guarantee you will love it!!!)
Cocktails at Naptime
The woefully inept guide to early motherhood
There are secrets that no baby book will tell you, stories that no parenting magazine will even touch with a set of forceps. And that’s a shame because out of postnatal nastiness and the human struggle with sleep-deprivation, couch stainage and perineum bruising, comes forth humour; lots of it. Read about how the Mothers of History dealt with getting their figure back, discover how to transform your partner into a sex symbol using only household bleach and a pair of rubber gloves, and find out how to recognise (and avoid becoming) a stereotypical Mummy From Hell. Cocktails at Naptime is a hilarious look at those first twelve months (from birth to back-to-work) and the antidote to the ‘how to’ parenting manuals and the glut of ‘girlfriend’ books. It gives you a hug, a tip or two and the nod to have a big glass of chardonnay.
Emma Kaufmann (Baltimore, USA) and Gillian Martin (Aberdeen, Scotland) met over the Internet and wrote the book together. Gillian has been published in several blogger compilations and is a radio personality with many connections to UK media outlets. Emma has been published in You’re Not the Only One, as well as in the British blogger compilation for Comic Relief, Shaggy Blog Stories. She has also written the successful erotic novel, Lured by Lust (Virgin Books/Random House 2000) and Confessions of a Cake Addict (Agora International 2009).
Publication October 2010 224pp, illustrations, trade paperback. RIGHTS AVAILABLE: All excluding ANZ.




























23 comments:
How about: "What?? Mom says I'm just big-boned."
Genetically modified IVF sextuplets give French scientists cause for concern..."
You said you'd never let that picture of me out! That does it. Now I post "EmmaK and Tiger : A brief love story about ball washing".
I swear I'll do it.
Headline: "Lost Child Found Embedded in Man's Arse". Yesterday in America Town Somewhere, officials report a child first thought missing was found embedded in the arse of a rotund amusement park visitor. The unsuspecting child apparently became stuck in Mr Burger Guzzlers arse when he sat down without looking on the Frogger ride. When questioned Mr Guzzler reported that he was unaware of the small child stuck in his buttocks and had mistaken the muffled screams for help, as gas due to the gallon of chilli and corn dogs he had consumed in the minutes prior to deciding to go on the ride. The child's predicament was only discovered when Mr Guzzler stood up and two little legs were seen sticking out of his large butt cheeks. After much laughter, pointing, and photo taking, bystanders assisted Mr Guzzler, and the child was safely removed.
Okay so it's not a caption. But a picture such as that deserves it's own news story. :)
You have the knack of book titling - the cover sells itself. Good luck with the latest.
Caption contest:
"Well we've been stuck up here so long ...and I er ... kinda got hungry."
I know what I'd like to enter as the caption for your photo compettion.
But I won't...
haha love your blog! Are you into funny blogs? (if so come check out mine; http://drama-filledteenslife.blogspot.com/)
xoxo,
calisunshine
"Frank had rollercoaster phobia, so his friend decided to start him out easy... Little did he know that Frank was also scared of frogs"
'I did it for a bet,' announced Emily taking a $10 note from Mel, 'but don't worry he'll be gone soon, he's not strapped in.'
'Fly away, doughboy...be free,' smiled Mel.
After extensive plastic surgery, paedophile Gary Glitter's wherabouts were only discovered after he couldn't contain himself on a kiddie ride at an American theme park. "If only I'd hat a ten gallon hat", Glitter exclaimed after he was carted off by the authorities.
Obviously don't put me in for the prize draw..but my caption is "Once again the Spencer Family waited patiently for the Fire Brigade to arrive after Dad blamed his five kids for overloading the Frog-Hopper"
Cunning Linguist...."EmmaK and Tiger : A brief love story about ball washing". I await your masterpiece with bated breath!! xx
The little girl on the far right is saying "You've got bigger boobs than my mum!".
gorilla bananas.....It does rather look like she is saying that! Good one
"Sorry kid, get your own inflatable black cobra head."
wanderlust....ha ha that was really funny!
"No. I'm not masturbating under my hat, you impudent child ! I'm merely relocating the blood from my legs to avoid DVT."
E-K goes where Fingers fears to tread.
E-K: Ask Emma privately where I trod before you question my fear-factor...
E-K....ha ha yes fingers did send me an outrageously perverted caption privately by email but he is a gent so decided not to go pubic on this or do I mean public!
yours is great though Kev
Wanderlust....yay!! you are the winner. I will email you.
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