Wednesday, August 25, 2010

I could have been a lesbian living in Sydney


What do I know about Australia? I know that some people call us Brits Whinging Poms - which I consider an entirely apt name. Apart from that, the answer is not much. I'm no expert, because I was only briefly there for three weeks in 1995 and apart from a stint to the divine Byron Bay to ogle surfer boys mostly lived in a house in Balmain, Sydney, full of Scottish and English people who smoked bongs all day and were crammed into this house to such an extent that there were curtains, yes, curtains, strung down the middle of the rooms to create private ‘quarters’, and consequently you could fit at least four people in a room. It was the kind of wholesome environment where people would end up having sex with whoever was beside them on the sofa at the end of the night. While I was there, one girl got pregnant. My English friend Louise was the only respectable person in this squat type situation. She had a job as a picture editor on a magazine, and I have no idea how she got up in the morning after all the degeneracy. I am quite a messy person, but the situation in one of the bathrooms was so bad that you had to wear shoes to go into it, because the floor was covered in….well, you get my drift.

Louise was there for about a year. Stupidly, she didn’t emigrate to Oz at the time, when she was under 27, and it would have been relatively easy. Instead she came back to England and got obsessed with emigrating and at one point after she was older than 27, wanted me to pretend to be her lesbian partner - for reasons that now escape me, it is easier to emigrate if you have a partner or spouse - and make an application to move there. I would have done it too, only I know I would have cocked up the immigration interview. Nevertheless, the years have passed and sometimes I can't help but wonder what might have happened if I had turned that corner. To think I could now be living with my 'lesbian lover' in Sydney eh? The mind boggles. Setting aside for a moment the fact that the officials would have seen through the charade what if we'd pulled it off?

It could have happened. We were both hacked off with men at the time, what if I'd segued into temporary lesbianism? I wonder whether if the earth had been slightly off kilter while we'd been having our drunken discussion in the pub when Louise had shrieked "I've got it - we'll pretend to be gay!" we'd have taken it all the way to Oz? Not terribly likely but still it's certainly funny to think about what I would be like if I was living in Australia. I have a feeling I'd be tan, lithe and fit because not only would I be a super surfer but they have all the nice fresh fish over there and the food is so healthy and delicious. But actually knowing me I would be 300lb and eating heaps of meat pies and Tim Tams not to mention glugging beer by the truckload to quench my thirst. What do you think...do you think I could have gone the Sapphic Antipodean route or am I clutching at eucalyptus leaves?



Well, anyway, until the day I can save enough to get to Oz for an extended vacation I hang around all the cool Aussie kids like Kathrine at Mummy Diaries who alerted me to the fact that "after 10 hours dancing on the podium, rubbing up against sweaty men and shaking your glow sticks, your pachanga will smell like road kill." I also adore Mrs Woog at Woogsworld who if you've got a mo needs urgent advice on dropping lose 20 kilos in 5 weeks without the use of tape worms. The Not Drowning Mother is a kindred spirit who likes to knock back absinthe-based cocktails with names like ‘Monkey Gland’ and ‘Sweaty Bollocks.’ And Fingers at Whine Guide is quite probably the funniest rudest guy on the planet (not for the faint hearted!)



So I am interested to know, where might you have ended up you'd given into some crazy whim or impulse or if, like George Michael put it you'd 'turn a different corner and we never would have met.' What might have happened if fate had taken a decisively different turn and you'd ended up living in a parallel universe like the one in the rather silly film Sliding Doors? Do tell all.

47 comments:

Steve said...

If you were a lesbian and had cocked up the emigration interview you'd have serious gender issues. I've never fancied living anywhere but England really though as I get older Oz does appeal as the way of life seems easier. My granddad though did consider emigrating to South Africa after the war but my Nan refused. Life and indeed I would have been a very different person if gramps had got his way...

Memphis Steve said...

I think I could have pulled off the lesbian part. I'm not sure if I could have survived the many years I would have spent trying to master surfing without drowning part. That's where I think I'd have gone wrong. If I could have made it through that then I suppose I'd be in better shape, have had fewer knee surgeries, and probably working the same basic job while married to some blond Aussie surfer chick and drinking lots and lots of alcohol. Life would probably be pretty OK.

EmmaK said...

Steve...England is great from April - September but for the rest of the time the grim weather always made me want to commit suicide...maybe that's just me!!

memphis steve...I don't think I'd be able to cope with Australia because drinking is so casual worse than in UK maybe. In UK I was drinking like a fish ...glad I live here in USA where it is a little frowned on to have a G&T at ten in the morning!

how are you bearing up now you know that Steph was really Staci or did you always know you sly old fox you??? do you stil adore Steph?

Lucy said...

I think I lived in that same house in Balmain.....

And ended up staying. Fifteen years later, I am still here.....manageed to avoid the need for lesbian lover con, by marrying surfie dude.

Otherwise - I could have been back to the UK, driving up and down and across the M4 and M6 working for the man, and probably whinging......and having babies to the wrong kind of man....

xl said...

Oh, I would sign anything admitting to being a lezzer to get an Oz visa!

Mrs Woog said...

I am said Aussie Mrs Woog - and had a similar experience to your Balmain one but it Tufnell Park Norf London - shudders.
And if I had actually carried out any one of the ten thousand threats to leave Mr Woog in that squalor, I perhaps might have found myself a whinging pom! Or a wannabe lezzo Aussie/Pom.

London City Mum said...

I could have taken up a place as first mate on a racing yacht and yo-yo'd across the Atlantic a few times before shacking up with the skipper on some godforsaken island in the middle of nowhere.

Like the Falklands. Or the Outer Hebrides. Or Fiji.

Actually, I lie. Fiji never figured in the discussions. But Lymington did.

Woo hoo. Way to go (not).

LCM x

p.s. WV is fackept. Like it. Might adopt as new expression.

notdrowning said...

"I could have been a lesbian living in Sydney" is the best memoir title I have ever seen, improved only, perhaps, by the inclusion of the words "naked jelly-wrestling for a" between the words "lesbian" and "living".

I tried to write down my own 'Sliding Doors' moment - a process that was more complicated than trying to put the plot of the two Matrix sequels in writing - but then my browser crashed and my musings were lost forever more.

Shame, that.

PS. Thank you for linking to the blog. I am not worthy.

mummydiaries said...

I think Australia would be a much richer place with you in it!! Please try and do a book tour and rs Woog and I will take you out for a night of drunken mummy dancing on night club tables.

misssy m said...

My folks nearly emigrated to Canada when I was nine but my mum got cold feet. I don't think I'd make a very good Canadian though. I was there last year and I seemed to upset everyone. You may remember:

http://misssymartin.blogspot.com/2009/05/testing-times.html

Heather said...

I have had many moments like that and do sometimes wonder what would have happened if I'd agree to stay in bolivia with that bloke or go to France to work instead of Lapland like i could have... Am ever so glad I didn't though.

EmmaK said...

mummydiaries....YES!! It's a HOT date ....mums night out in Sydney ...you me and Mrs Woog doing Karaoke while drinking absinthe based cocktails and being a total disgrace.....I'll work on it!!!!

EmmaK said...

Mrs WoogWow, I used to live in Tufnell Park - I found it to be a deadly dull suburb I didn't realize that some of the houses were dens of iniquity!!

EmmaK said...

not drowning...Intriguing!! I still want to hear about your Sliding Doors moment. Are you coy because it is something of a Sliding Drawers moment? guffaw

Misssy M....hard to think of you pissing people off. I'll read your post and see how you pissed off the Canucks. Canada is a bit chilly isn't it ...worse than Scotland I think...you had a lucky escape methinks

Electro-Karen said...

Well, sister, I DID turn that corner and just look at me now !

EmmaK said...

Electro-Karen...I see you've been caught red handed in the wife's lingerie drawer again!! You look lovely after the op darling xx

Some Chilean Woman said...

My mom had her fortune read last year in Chile. The woman told her one of her daughters is a lesbian, my mom thinks it's me, not my perfect Mormon sister.

I have a crush on the Aussie chef Curtis Stone, he's very pretty and girlie, wears man make-up and has highlighted hair. That's as lesbian as I get.

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fingers said...

Yes, thanks to our progressive immigration policy here, I expect you'd have made citizenship in no time flat.
What, you're single, heterosexual, have 3 university degrees and speak 11 languages ?? Sorry but we have no room for people like you.
What, you're a pair of fully functioning lesbians looking to live on the dole and rort our medical system ?? Well, come on in we've been expecting you.
Of course the easiest way to get in here is to arrive by boat with your extended family and when challenged by the coastal patrols simply throw your children overboard and yell death threats in Arabic to our PM and all the Jews running the country...

Kristy said...

You know, I love watching this Showtime Show about lesbians The Real L World, but I know from watching it that I am definitely not lesbian material.

Farmers Wifey said...

hey another aussie here! You have two of my fav aussie bloggers on your list.....Great blog btw!

Clyde said...

Your friend was the only respectable one in the house---hmm, and you were in the house, so that makes you---oh, you had fun.
And who would want to eat all of the pies when we have the best seafood in the world and our beef is fantastic and fruit from the tropical north to the cherries and apples of the south---and the wine countries in each state.
Hey, you only had to be lesbian to live in Sydney---the rest of us are hetro.
Come and give us another go--- geez, a pom with and American accent---just what we need in our multicultural society

EmmaK said...

Clyde.....While I appreciate the great weather in the USA and the lack of drizzle I do not have an American accent. I will visit Australia as soon as I am able and sample your cheese selection!!

Boonie S said...

I’ve never been to a parallel universe, largely due to the poor baht/dollar exchange rate. However I have been a Lesbian ever since I was a pubescent boy. You may be interested to know that Lesbia is very nice at this time of year.
Thanks for a truly trouser dampening post.

All the best, from Little Sweet Boonie

EmmaK said...

Boonie S...I haven't really got a clue what's going on but your comment made me laugh. Maybe I will take a trip to Lesbia some day!!

Rusty Hoe said...

As a Melbourne girl it's compulsory to say patooy to Sydney. Here in Vic we have a plethora of well built AFL footy players in tight shorts that are far more interesting than surfer boys. You know, you could probably get in easy at the moment as we are currently sans government thanks to a stupid Federal election that is still undecided 2 weeks after the fact. Truth be told most wouldn't object to a faux Lesbian form the UK as our new leader at this stage.

dulwich divorcee said...

My Italian next-door-neighbour invited me to go to Lesbos when I lived in Belgium - that's the closest I've got! Love sliding doors though

Metropolitan Mum said...

What I know about Australia:
a) they finish most of their sentences with a question mark?
b) the guys I met are all pretty fit (I used to have a crush on my Australian fitness instructor)
c) now knowing about the mating habits of young adults, that's definitely not where my daughter is going to spend her gap year

Deer Baby said...

We were only talking about whether we should leave dreary old England the other day for Australia. But my husband says he'd miss the rain. And the culture!

I almost, almost seriously considered posing as my gay friend's girlfriend to meet his parents and perhaps even marry him. Or at least have his baby. Thank god I saw sense. He ended up marrying a lesbian to get his green card and so that she could stay in the country. It was like that film Green Card where they had to swot up on each other.

Seana Smith said...

Hey, I think I was at that same house in Balmain too, with Lucy and many more desperados. Ahhh... I did move from Scotland to Sydney, then nipped back to Glasgow for a few years, collected my International Man of Mystery and came together with Bairn Number 1.

If we'd stayed.. so many things... I'd be helping my mum so much more now... lots of good and not so good stuff. But since all my kids are hyper... best to be in Sydney with its outdoors lifestyle.

The lesbian bit... well, hmmm... I so prefer to go on holidays with other mums and they actually help rather than holiday... but not sure if the full shebang would work so well!

allison tait said...

I remember this post! Love it!

Thanks for Rewinding at the Fibro.

Glen said...

i think you made the right choice - I've seen real lesbians - they don't look anything like the ones on the Internet.

Danger Boy said...

Good stuff!
If I'd followed a crazy inkling I'd be living as a beach bum in the southeast US, living the life of an intinerant adventurer. AKA broke and homeless.
It was a bad year.

MultipleMum said...

I remember reading this post! Too funny and familiar! Thanks for Rewinding this Weekend x

joeh said...

I am pretty sure I am a Lesbian that was unfortunatly born in a male body. Oh the humanity!

Love your blog please In future blogs feel free to use the word Lesbian as often as possible.

rewinding

The Cranky oLD mAN

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HotGVibe said...

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Lara at This Charming Mum said...

Sounds like the Sydney squat was very similar to the one I lived in in London! I've known quite a few people who've gone to extreme lengths to emigrate. It does seem to become an obsession! I've always loved travelling but never quite wanted to commit to immigration :)

Mummy Manifesto said...

Not sure I would turn to the other side to get a permanent visa in Australia. I am from Perth and we have heaps of English families flocking to our shores..Sounds like Sydney is the place to be when you are a backpacker

Lydia C. Lee said...

Not sure what my sliding door moment would have been but safe to say the outcome would suck.
I do think the thing with travel, there are those moments where you could decide to stay. Or not. But we never know anything else.

Tegan Churchill said...

I always think about what would my life by like if 'x' hadn't happened.
I had to chuckle at your tan and lithe comment! I am far from that and I live in 'The Sunshine State' lol

robomum said...

9.20pm here in Sydney and your post has got me thinking. I have no idea where I'd be if I wasn't here... I'd be somewhere I suppose. Hopefully somewhere exotic and exciting. Like a bar owner on a Greek Island, pashing hot tourists.

theviblog said...

I was living in London and trying to apply for an ancestry visa on the basis of my Northern Irish Grandfather.

The only thing I needed was my Dad's birth certificate to prove the link between my grandfather and myself. Dad kept stalling - said he couldn't find it. Since he was born in Zimbabwe there was
almost NO chance of getting a copy.

Eventually I decided to come home anyway and when I got back my Dad eventually confessed that he'd stalled because he'd been afraid I wouldn't ever come home! So I cod have ended up living in the UK instead of sunny Australia. I as furious at the time but I think he did me a favour in the end :P

EmmaK said...

theviblog...one of life's great mysteries why every young aussie wants to move to London and every young Brit wants to move to Australian for sun, surf and sex. What could have been eh....you could have been pasty faced and wearing a wooly hat for 11 months of the year!!

Alison Dennehy said...

Heheh, I knew folks who lived like that in Glasgow and London too - come to think of it the common denominator seems to be me :D

I did move out here after a year in England (and four and a half years in America too), it was easy for me as my dh is a Melbourne lad. I have not regretted it, but am now terribly homesick. No pleasing some folk :)

Could never pull of fancying women, too much stickiness involved, am eternally grateful to people of either gender who manage it :)

As for healthy lifestyle, despite the sun, beaches, rainforests and whatnot I still manage to pull of being a lazy sod - if you try hard enough you can manage it in any environment :)

SlapdashMama said...

Well because I am an anxious Daddy's girl type I have never lived oveseas. I have a British passport and everything, Dad is from Belfast. But my parents, while never actually explicitly telling me not to, were just so disapproving of the concept. I had an opportunity after a relationship breakup to go and live with some friends in London but my Dad spent hours talking me out of it and I listened. It's my own fault for being a timid creature I should have told them to jam it. Weird when dad had done exactly that, move overseas to Australia. Stupid parents are stupid. And so am I.