Wednesday, November 10, 2010

A Bad Marriage Is Like A Dodgy Motor


My friend Alana told me the other day that I was unusual in being married ten years and still getting along with my husband. She claimed most people can't really stand each other after that period of time. And I think that feeling is fairly common and echoed by Slummy Single Mummy who said she was cynical about everlasting love. In any case I was strutting around like a peacock for a bit thinking what a success I was for being married for ten years. In fact so many people have said to me 'Emma, what's the secret to a happy marriage?' that I felt it was time to put fingers to keyboard and dish. [Actually it was really just Alana who is unmarried but still, I'm sure you're all dying to hear my pearls of wisdom].

Don't marry a spouse that is the equivalent of a rusty motor

It's really quite simple. There is no point marrying some hot piece of totty and after a few years things going flat and then embarking on a round of counselling or swingers parties and testing out all types of new fangled sex toys trying to insert the spice (or lager flavoured love cream) back into your marriage. It doesn't work and it's bloody expensive. You basically have to marry the right person to start with. If you buy a car you don't just buy a nice looking second hand motor do you? You get it checked out to see if it's rusty under the hood don't you? If you buy the right product - a good quality product - then you will have a keeper. If you buy a piece of rusty old junk you will have a car exploding on you on the middle of the motorway.

I suppose the tricky thing is knowing that you've got hold of rusty piece of junk from the beginning and not tying the knot with him/her. Usually people are cross eyed with lust at that stage and don't think these things through too well. Why things worked out for me I really don't know. I like to kid myself that I am an amazingly good judge of character but really I think our union was just plain good old fashioned luck.



Also I think sexual attraction is ingrained from early erotic experiences. Coming from the UK I fancy men with badly cut hair that straggles over the back of a collar, I get turned on by jumpers (you have to find jumpers erotic because there will never be a time save the two weeks in summer when English men will be out of jumpers), sideburns, glasses, little or no muscle definition, zero body fat and naturally crooked teeth. My husband - who by the way is Irish - has crooked teeth. It was quite funny, he went to a dentist here and they told him that for $30,000 they could break his jaw and put him in a headbrace to straighten his teeth. He told them, most politely, where to shove their head brace.

So, are you still with me? Firstly buy the right motor with the right er features on it to really get your engine revving. And then, to seal the deal of everlasting love move to a country where you are not sexually attracted to the men/women. For me that was America. Firstly American men are rarely in jumpers. They are also insanely clean, scrubbed and have large regularly spaced teeth. Lastly there isn't the opportunity to get it on with them since they simply don't try it on at every opportunity the way English men do. In fact it was quite a culture shock to go out to a club here and never run into a chap trying to impress me with a crude chat up line. In fact here the use of the words ‘nice rack’ ‘well put together’ or ‘screw’ said to any woman who is not a sales associate at IKEA can quickly lead to a sexual harassment law suit – something most American males will do anything to avoid.

So that about sums it up: marry a quality product to start with and then move to a foreign country where you do not find the opposite sex desirable. I hope my advice will prevent at least some of you from making poor marriage choices.



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34 comments:

Steve said...

You have just sold the UK to me. I can't believe my luck in being born here and born with sideburns, glasses, little or no muscle definition, zero body fat and naturally crooked teeth (well, I wasn't actually born with all those but they came to me later). I am a one man lust magnet!

But. There is one slight problem. Most of the women in the UK are not like you Emma (see, you're just too perfect; you cannot be replicated or even cloned); they don't like sideburns, glasses, little or no muscle definition, zero body fat and naturally crooked teeth. They have, to be sure no taste. But they do outnumber class birds like you a hundred to one.

Did you notice I called you a bird? Thought you might like that little bit of cheek. I do a roaring trade in cheesy chat-up lines too (though spitting through my teeth tends to spoil the effect).

EmmaK said...

Steve...I think you're being too hard on yourself. Men think women want a kind of Arnie muscular type but what really do you do with a man who's got a thigh as big as a giant ham? Forgedaboutit

Hey you can call me a bird anytime. As long as I can call you a Fridge and Freezer (geezer)

Steve said...

Anytime, doll. ;-)

Kelloggsville said...

I married the only Australian in my village for that very reason. There just wasn't another beer swilling, cricket loving, pot bellied, slurring man....ahhh hang on that covers the other 50% of the UK male population not covered by the no fat, jumper laden, crooked teeth brigade...I'm not sure I could face walking into a bar and not getting a sleezy line, my ego would fail and I'd be asking them if they were gay!!

EmmaK said...

Kelloggsville...yeah it's just so insulting isn't it NOT to have someone give you a line when you're a hot piece of ass (as I'm sure you are as am I). I don't care how bad it is at least try and make me laugh.

fingers said...

Well, ignoring the confusion caused by the fact that down here 'engine' and 'motor' are the same thing...and continuing in the vehicular theme...
I prefer to marry extremely low-performance chicks with insanely high maintenance costs.
Like paying for a Ferarri and actually getting a Lada...

Bambam said...

There is something to that theory about moving to a country where you don't find the opposite sex desirable. Was blissfully happy living in Asia for 12 years... and don't panic but after 10 we were still very happy! After 17, and being back in Australia for 3 years, she left me... hahahhaha...

Hey nice Cocktails At Naptime pic there!! He's very handsome!!

Wildernesschic said...

After surviving twenty years and counting I loved this post, I thing you have to be best friends to get through life's up's and down's.. Which we have had more than our fair share. You need to have a similar sense of humour and values, goals etc etc .. I spend 24 hours a day with my husband I am in my 40's and he has crooked teeth ..he does have a fit body though:P and he try's it on at every opportunity still...
You can keep straight teeth ..if a bloke wasn't making a pass I would think I was passed it xx

misssy m said...

This sounds terrible but I am so glad i married a Scottish bloke. I tried all sorts before- Italian, German, Italian then German again...but they just didn't get my jokes. And that's a deal breaker.

Heather said...

ha ha ha ha, oh how true. Thankfully, Finland is a country full of jumper wearing, crooked teethed men with bad hair cuts and an inability to dance.

kailexness said...

So so funny :-D congrats on the 10 years thing, I'm at 9.5 and having a bit of a revival... but then my fella is English has crooked teeth and rather a lot of stubble.. I am happy to report a reasonable amount of muscular definition around the arms, shoulders, legs and bottom - I'm still hinting for the six pack thou - perhaps there is a recipe for success there.

It also helps to fall for your best friend I have found...

Clyde said...

Hmm, I thinking that if you cant be friends, you are never going to last in a relationship.
We all have faults, so if you can get them all out there and accept them, then you have a good chance.
My ex wife forgot to tell me about one of her previos marriages and that she was an alcoholic and that she liked to cheat and she was a thief----but we lasted 9 years

EmmaK said...

Heather...stop right there you're arousing me. If I came to Finland I'd be walking around with the equivalent of a hard on!

Some Chilean Woman said...

I'm a Chilean living in the USA. Americans just don't do it for me, they're too pretty, except for Jack Black, I lust after him.

I am lucky to have found me a Scot with sideburns, glasses, little or no muscle definition, zero body fat and naturally crooked teeth. He makes a great husband.

21stcenturymummy.com said...

I'd better stear clear of the US. I love American men (a certain type anyway), their accent, the preppie clothes, sparkling teeth, hmmm...

EmmaK said...

BamBam...at the risk of pointing out the bleedin obvious you need to remarry and then move back to Asia! (Don't marry the same chick though)

fingers....Like paying for a Ferarri and actually getting a Lada...

Enlighten me ...Is that the same as paying for a high class prostitute and ending up with a clapped out trannie with missing teeth due to crack abuse?

Clyde....good point I was probably a bit vague about the car thing. The car should also not be an alcoholic, cheat or thief

Misssym....I didn't know that you had sampled every type of gent in the EU. I myself as mentioned have a pasty skin fetish and any time I dabbled outside an English/irish specimen I came a cropper. I did date a German for a while but he was pretty dull. Also I had one really bad experience with an australian that has put me off them for life (unfair prejudice I know)

Lynn MacDonald said...

Hahaha...I really enjoyed this. I have been married 24 years and took a somewhat different approach which I wrote about which was my "fixer upper" theory. However, if hay fails I will move abroad.

Being Me said...

Awww you can't discount all Aussie blokes from one bad experience! He must have been a bogan...

Shelly Rayedeane said...

It is called karma. When a person plays around with anything and everything, how can they not expect parts not to break down?

First the car goes, then next it's the motorcycle falling apart leaving some guys brains splattered all over the pavement.

London City Mum said...

I married a Welshman, does that count?

And no, he cannot sing. That was the first thing my mother asked me when I told her about him.

LCM x

EmmaK said...

Being Me...he was an accountant. Maybe I should say "I will never sleep with an australian accountant again!"

Gumpher said...

Welshmen, God's gift to womankind.

EmmaK said...

LondonCityMum....I don't really see the erotic appeal of welshmen apart from Tom Jones (before he had his conk sawed off). Like I say it is all about one's early experiences - my experiences of wales are going to swansea which smelt of fish, and also going to Fishguard to get a ferry which was a v depressing place. Thus welshmen don't give me the horn.

Humdrum Mum said...

Love it! -HMx

Organic Motherhood with Cool Whip said...

Well since I married my version of God's gift to womankind (short, smallish afro, big sexy thighs, gleaming white teeth) I am glad that we can hang out and not covet each other's menfolk. That said, I'm not quite sure what a jumper is...do they come in cheetah or leopard print? Cuz I might find that a turn on.

Ladii Aponte said...

LMAO ok i havea good quality product, but even still After reading this post i will refrain from moving to PR! The mr. Loves girls with big ass thick thighs and small waists lol he has me and im all of the a bove with a little more waist than before lol but after reading this I DONT NEED TEMPTATION for him lol not to mention, I love me some sexy Puerto rican men Lol reason why i married my Husband, only flaw hes not all thugged out more of a clean cut look going which is good but evry girl is attracted to a bad boy... hmm dont need that tempting me all over the damn country and lstly I moved away from his naval base after he separated thank god cuz i LOVE me a sexii man in a Uniform hahaha! Bad wifey, never cheated, hope to never do it either thansk for sharing! never thought of that before

Ladii ❤ Aponte

Cate said...

Well the hubby and I will be hitting the 22 year mark this December.Pretty impressive considering we were a blind date & he proposed 3 months after meeting me.....

Not always easy going, but yep - certainly worth knowing your "type" - makes things easier in the long run.

(Oh, and mine is an Australian / Italian with olive skin and who used to be very "built")

www.momentsofwhimsy.com

Modern Military Mother said...

I have one year to go before the big 10. I married a Scotsman - mainly because he was good looking and has a massive penis. It is the gift that keeps on giving. Sometimes when I don't hate him for being so annoying we have a really good laugh, giggling like idiots. It's a rollercoaster.

Modern Military Mother said...

I have one year to go before the big 10. I married a Scotsman - mainly because he was good looking and has a massive penis. It is the gift that keeps on giving. Sometimes when I don't hate him for being so annoying we have a really good laugh, giggling like idiots. It's a rollercoaster.

Suburban mummy & Co said...

Only been married a year, but been together for 13 I think all the arguing helps tremendously :D
Seriously We had so much common ground it was obvious we'd be good together! I am British married an Aussie. I'm always trying to get him into cable knits he won't have any of it

Glowless said...

Map Guy and I wanted our marriage vows to be "The person I am now will love the person you are now, forever" - cos the whole forever after thing is a bit strange to me.

P.S. Map Guy wants to know where to buy the lager flavoured love cream from.

EmmaK said...

Suburban Mummy....I'm always trying to get him into cable knits
lol
That's really tough!! But maybe you can find an angora/wool mix he would be amenable into slipping into

Glowless...look for adverts in your local free paper that say: 'Earn money in your spare time throwing Sex Parties.' Then turn up and try a selection of fruit flavored love creams that will guarantee to bring you out in a nasty rash. I live to tell the tale: http://tinyurl.com/3bygqv

modern military mother...I wouldn't call your husband's huge appendage a rollercoaster so much as a big dipper. Be careful you don't get stuck on the top with no way of getting down!

Electro-Kevin said...

The secret to a good marriage ?

Equally forgiving partners and regular oral sex.

EmmaK said...

Electro-Kevin....fair point. As long as you don't wield a knife while doing it http://tinyurl.com/22r6ay5