Friday, June 18, 2010

Flog Yo Blog Friday


It's been a fairly uneventful week. On Wednesday my daughter Scarlett jumped off her bunkbed in the dark and sliced her forehead on the ceiling fan and ran down the stairs looking like something out of Hammer House of Horror and had me mopping up blood for a long time on a cut that turned out to be pretty small in the end thank god. My husband said she needed sugar for the shock, but I am pretty sure that is an irish thing (how can that possibly work?) He ended up giving her a bowl of icecream and I was pretty jealous. What about my shock? The shock of seeing a semi nude kid running down the stairs covered in blood? I did not receive any icecream, alas. She is fine but I think she has learnt her lesson there.

Other than that it is just the usual type of week: I got another parking ticket. I always park somewhere where it says 'no parking' and dash into a shop for five minutes figuring how attentive can these meter maids or whatever they're called really be? And almost every time I do that I get a ticket. Sod's law being that if you park illegally you will get a parking ticket within seconds. I know you'll tell me what did you think would happen but look, I'm cheap, I'm not paying a dollar just to run into the library to return some library books. It's just a case of sod's law (can you think of any other examples?) It's like wearing a cream suit while drinking a glass of red wine - nine times out of ten you will spill it on yourself as my mate Misssy M recently discovered.


Harry Kewell - no idea what team he plays for but that's hardly the point - Mrs Woog turned me on to him

Other than that I have been ogling semi-nude World Cup footballers whenever I have gotten a spare moment. Then I woke up this morning in the middle of a dream where I was in a jacuzzi with Harry Kewell and Glen Johnson although I'm pretty sure David Beckham was in there somewhere too .... and realized oh bugger me that it was the last day of the kids' school. So seeing as the kids will need me to entertain them I'm not sure how much I will be around. Oh goodness me .... how time does fly.

Anyway it's that time again - time for me to flog my blog. So do join in. This is what you need to do if you want to Flog your blog:

1. Follow my blog. (if you haven't already done so).
2. Grab my bubbly button and post it on your sidebar.
3. Link your First Name/Blog Name and URL below.
4. Add a short description (max of 125 chars). It could be a description of yourself, your blog or a teaser to your latest post.
5. Follow at least 1 linkyer/blogger (Pay it forward is the name of the game).
6. The list will be open for linkyers on Fridays
7. A new and fresh link list will open every Friday. And you will have to link up AGAIN. The previous link list does not carry over to the following week.

And lastly, have lotsa fun.

Carry on then...

mummytime

Monday, June 14, 2010

Shirtless Monday


David Beckham tears ACL; Abs thankfully fine

I wasn't sure I was going to get into the World Cup. Quite frankly I'd never seen one sober. And most things are quite exciting when you're lagered up to the gills in a pub full of screaming countrymen and women. But since I find myself an odd British fish adrift in the wider waters of the USA where no one's that worked up about it all I wasn't sure what would happen. Luckily I found that there was a jingoistic dog inside me scrambling to be let out. To my delight on watching the USA-England match I suddenly becoming a raging nationalist and was actually very excited every time England tried to score a goal. This time I was stone cold sober and - this is so sad I can hardly bear to tell you - I watched the match at the gym on the running machine while wearing ear buds. England played terribly but on the upside, let us give thanks to the lads. Let's give thanks to their gifts to the world - such wonderful abdominals should never be hidden.

I hear there's a petition making the rounds to get the FIFA to rescind the rule that players are not allowed to take off their shirts during the match. I need to find this petition and sign it - not that I am that much of a bigwig around FIFA but still I'm sure every signature can make a difference.

I'm hugely disappointed at this championship's jerseys so far. Two years ago Nike'd made lovely, lovely body-hugging jerseys, and many a side wore them too. And now we are back to the baggy ones. No matter, luckily some footballers generously got their tits out for the ladies ....

My thanks go to ..


Glen Johnson and Ashley Cole



Steven Gerrard thanks for the gift of abs


Glen Johnson again ....thank you



Also got a quick glimpse of Bastian Schweinsteiger of Germany. I like you. I like you very much.

Any more shirtless player links gratefully received - but right now I simply can't justify a day googling 'shirtless footballers.' And what about you? Are you getting much out of the World Cup?

Friday, June 11, 2010

Flog Yo Blog


Bear with me because I am flogging my blog today. This is a great way to stalk discover some cool new blogs. I believe the dominatrix who started all this is here and she tells me her regular blog floggers are some of the most brilliant bloggers on the interwebs. No lies! She don't lie. Much.

Besides, she is a practicing Catholic. Yes, really! And, she hates doing penance.

I too am a lapsed Catholic. I did want to be a nun when I was twelve though. I am totally serious.

Anyway, let the flogging begin.

This is what you need to do if you want to Flog your blog:

1. Follow my blog. (if you haven't already done so).
2. Grab my bubbly button and post it on your sidebar.
3. Link your First Name/Blog Name and URL below.
4. Add a short description (max of 125 chars). It could be a description of yourself, your blog or a teaser to your latest post.
5. Follow at least 1 linkyer/blogger (Pay it forward is the name of the game).
6. The list will be open for linkyers on Fridays
7. A new and fresh link list will open every Friday. And you will have to link up AGAIN. The previous link list does not carry over to the following week.

And lastly, have lotsa fun.

Carry on then...

mummytime

Monday, June 07, 2010

Frog Hopper: Caption Competition


Well I return battered and bruised from a weekend at an amusement park. And such was the humor of this photo I took that I thought hey why not have a caption competition? So, put your captions in the comments section by Friday at which point I will randomly draw a winner. And remember, politically incorrect captions are most welcome.

So as for prizes. Well if you are yourself a frog I can send you a couple of juicy flies. I was in a county near here called Essex recently and actually saw the grossest thing ever - a live bait dispenser where fisheman (I presume) could get live maggots out of a machine. But assuming that most of you aren't a frog the winner will receive a copy of my hilarious book Cocktails at Naptime which will be published in Australia by Finch Publishing in October (so okay it may be a while before you get the book but I guarantee you will love it!!!)


Details about the book as listed at the London Book Fair:

Cocktails at Naptime
The woefully inept guide to early motherhood
by Gillian Martin & Emma Kaufmann

There are secrets that no baby book will tell you, stories that no parenting magazine will even touch with a set of forceps. And that’s a shame because out of postnatal nastiness and the human struggle with sleep-deprivation, couch stainage and perineum bruising, comes forth humour; lots of it. Read about how the Mothers of History dealt with getting their figure back, discover how to transform your partner into a sex symbol using only household bleach and a pair of rubber gloves, and find out how to recognise (and avoid becoming) a stereotypical Mummy From Hell. Cocktails at Naptime is a hilarious look at those first twelve months (from birth to back-to-work) and the antidote to the ‘how to’ parenting manuals and the glut of ‘girlfriend’ books. It gives you a hug, a tip or two and the nod to have a big glass of chardonnay.

Emma Kaufmann (Baltimore, USA) and Gillian Martin (Aberdeen, Scotland) met over the Internet and wrote the book together. Gillian has been published in several blogger compilations and is a radio personality with many connections to UK media outlets. Emma has been published in You’re Not the Only One, as well as in the British blogger compilation for Comic Relief, Shaggy Blog Stories. She has also written the successful erotic novel, Lured by Lust (Virgin Books/Random House 2000) and Confessions of a Cake Addict (Agora International 2009).

Publication October 2010 224pp, illustrations, trade paperback. RIGHTS AVAILABLE: All excluding ANZ.