The sultry Naomi from featured me on SheKnows’ Daily Delights mentioned me as one of the Top 10 Humor Blogs. So now I've got a bit of performance anxiety. I have to show I am funny and will no doubt end up with bloggers' droop. So here goes nothing.
Another funny lady Naomi raved about was the Un Mom who runs Random Tuesdays.What's that you may well ask? Well it's basically a challenge. Put on the slap, go to the nearest bar and see how long it takes to 'bag and bed' a random person of whichever gender you fancy.
[Just kidding!]
It's actually a game where you scribble down whatever's in your head. So here's what's in mine:
Jelly Brained Bint Senility beckons. Everyone in the family got new sneakers on the weekend. Well yesterday I was wearing rain boots as it was raining to I took what I thought were my new sneakers with me to the gym. When I got there I could not get the sneakers on. I'd totally forgotten my daughter had gotten new sneakers and that these were hers. I kept thinking either I've drunk an Alice in Wonderland potion and my feet have shrunk or I'm so senile that I bought shoes two sizes too small. I couldn't work out in the small sneakers as I felt like my toes were being crushed in a vise - and in a feat of madness I even drove home to get my old sneakers so I could partake in the 'Body Pump' class. Six hours later my daughter pointed out I'd been trying to wedge my Plates of Meat into her new sneakers like an Ugly Sister into a glass slipper. So basically I am going totally gaga. Is it just me? Please tell me it's not just me.
Aussie Brothel Opening I keep seeing business opportunities everywhere. Like I don't actually want to run the businesses but you know, I see the openings. Like my husband's brother works in a copper mine in Australia, a three hour flight from Perth. The workers on base get two weeks on and one week off when they are flown back to Perth. Now imagine the scene: 400 men and 4 women live in this complex. Now apart from offering the women workers free chastity belts and putting steel plates in their bedroom doors to stop them being broken into by randy engineers (by the way they also give all the workes a 24/7 open bar - only in Australia -so this is an accident waiting to happen) isn't it obvious that there is an opening here for a brothel? Since brothels are legal in Australia this seems like a no brainer. You can't put 400 randy lads in the middle of nowhere and not expect things to go pear shaped without some degree of release? That's just plain unfair. Contact me now to learn more about this exciting business opportunity. Supply and demand you see. I reckon you could do ten minutes work for $100 Australian. Market forces and all that. What say you?
Vegetables in Jello Diet I'm thinking of starting a vegetables in Jello diet. Because eating bright radishes in lime jelly would make even my cast iron stomach do a back flip. Patent pending. The wierd thing is those cheerful peeps in this video actually make it seem feasible so try some veg in jello today!
I'm afraid that's all there is in my cranium at present but please link up and join in the fun and let's see what delectable morsels lie at the bottom of your brain. So Random Up Y'All
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21 comments:
I've seen lots of weird things in jello--but the weirdest was bologna. Or maybe spam. Truly, jello recipes from the 50s and 60s.
I must be an oddball because I like my jello with it's virginity intact. No fruit. No veggies. No meat. Just jello. OK alcohol is fine. I stand corrected. LOL
VandyJ....Jello is pretty dreadful all round. In the UK we make it palatable by stuffing it in a trifle: that's sherry soaked sponge, layers of cream and fruits too - which makes it go down very easily. It might stick in one's throat though if one tried the spam-jello surprise!
Kristine.....yeah maybe that's the way for me to go eating lots of jello mixed with the purest vodka - it'll certainly put a spring in my step!
I was so freaked out by the horse that I forgot what I was going to say about jell-o.
Jello shots are about all I can handle with alcohol as the 'added in' part. Of course I might be convinced to attempt to eat veggie enclosed jello after I'd imbibed in numerous jello shots first. ;)
I can see me doing the same Alice In Wonderland mode when Princess Nagger's feet get bigger and I'm in a hurry to get somewhere. I bet it won't be as comical as it is when she's trying to walk around in my shoes.
Wii Bowling and Champagne Making - RTT
Eww, radishes in lime jello?!?! Ick!
Happy Tuesday!
Brothels are legal in Australia? Not sure whether that sells the place to me or not.
Depends on the extras I suppose.
I like raddishes, I like lime jelly. It could work...
You went to the gym?
*faints*
LCM x
London City Mum... Well there are lots of people to gossip with plus a wonderful snack bar that does super smoothies. What's not to like!?
Jello has to have those little colored marshmallows in it. What's the point in fruit or veg? You're just ruining the "not found in nature" theme.
I'm with LCM - you went to the gym? I am impressed.
Oh, and I remember my grandmother doing a lovely little concoction of jellied beetroot years ago. Needless to say, it was NOT my favourite dish....
www.momentsofwhimsy.com
I don't know about the brothel thing. May have worked in the wild west days when a wife had not bloody say but I'd be stamping my feet ten times over if I knew hubby was off to work in a mining camp with an onsite brothel. Always Penthouse and Brother Hand for release.
Jello and veges, you have lost the plot woman!!
Jules...no it is fine - the lads at the mine are all single! I just thought if there was anyone out there who was interested in living in the middle of nowhere and servicing these lads I'd offer them first dibs!
Brothels aren't actually legal in WA but they are "tolerated". If you ever get the chance, do the tour of Langtrees in Kalgoorlie - it's AMAZING! My tour guide was a retired prostitute who punctuated all her words by slapping her hand with a giant dildo. It was awesome.
mhmmm... Australia....
OMG that Sneaker Day thing at your house each year sounds even better fun than Festivus...
I think you may be a bit late on the aussie brothel's or prostitutes serving the mining communities!! Didn't you know Australia's white settlement was a bunch of prostitutes from the UK?
I'm actually contemplating running a brothel at the moment. I already feel as though I'm getting f*cked over at work, so may as well get creative and earn a few extra bucks along the way!
I was enlightened to find that it doesn't matter if you're in the top 10 of nearly anything. I noticed that my readership actually went up during a four month sabbatical in which I wrote absolutely nothing on my blog. I guess in the end it just doesn't matter what you do with your blog...
I hate writing under pressure, it makes be go completely _________.
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