The sultry Naomi from featured me on SheKnows’ Daily Delights mentioned me as one of the Top 10 Humor Blogs. So now I've got a bit of performance anxiety. I have to show I am funny and will no doubt end up with bloggers' droop. So here goes nothing.
Another funny lady Naomi raved about was the Un Mom who runs Random Tuesdays.What's that you may well ask? Well it's basically a challenge. Put on the slap, go to the nearest bar and see how long it takes to 'bag and bed' a random person of whichever gender you fancy.
It's actually a game where you scribble down whatever's in your head. So here's what's in mine:
Jelly Brained Bint Senility beckons. Everyone in the family got new sneakers on the weekend. Well yesterday I was wearing rain boots as it was raining to I took what I thought were my new sneakers with me to the gym. When I got there I could not get the sneakers on. I'd totally forgotten my daughter had gotten new sneakers and that these were hers. I kept thinking either I've drunk an Alice in Wonderland potion and my feet have shrunk or I'm so senile that I bought shoes two sizes too small. I couldn't work out in the small sneakers as I felt like my toes were being crushed in a vise - and in a feat of madness I even drove home to get my old sneakers so I could partake in the 'Body Pump' class. Six hours later my daughter pointed out I'd been trying to wedge my Plates of Meat into her new sneakers like an Ugly Sister into a glass slipper. So basically I am going totally gaga. Is it just me? Please tell me it's not just me.
Aussie Brothel Opening I keep seeing business opportunities everywhere. Like I don't actually want to run the businesses but you know, I see the openings. Like my husband's brother works in a copper mine in Australia, a three hour flight from Perth. The workers on base get two weeks on and one week off when they are flown back to Perth. Now imagine the scene: 400 men and 4 women live in this complex. Now apart from offering the women workers free chastity belts and putting steel plates in their bedroom doors to stop them being broken into by randy engineers (by the way they also give all the workes a 24/7 open bar - only in Australia -so this is an accident waiting to happen) isn't it obvious that there is an opening here for a brothel? Since brothels are legal in Australia this seems like a no brainer. You can't put 400 randy lads in the middle of nowhere and not expect things to go pear shaped without some degree of release? That's just plain unfair. Contact me now to learn more about this exciting business opportunity. Supply and demand you see. I reckon you could do ten minutes work for $100 Australian. Market forces and all that. What say you?
Vegetables in Jello Diet I'm thinking of starting a vegetables in Jello diet. Because eating bright radishes in lime jelly would make even my cast iron stomach do a back flip. Patent pending. The wierd thing is those cheerful peeps in this video actually make it seem feasible so try some veg in jello today!
I'm afraid that's all there is in my cranium at present but please link up and join in the fun and let's see what delectable morsels lie at the bottom of your brain. So Random Up Y'All
Who am I? Displaced Londoner now living in the States with my two little girlies and long suffering husband. Co-author of hilarious parenting book Cocktails at Naptime www.cocktailsatnaptime.com
My mom's an Austrian, my dad's a Brit, which makes me a Britaustrian, or possibly an Austrish?