Dear Fans and Friends,
(This is a letter written as if I am a celebrity because I feel like I will be soon, why I don't know, just a feeling)...
As 2007 draws to a close, I would like to thank you all so much for buying my CD and my book called Poor Little Self-Centred Bitch Trod On Everyone To Get To The Top, making me very rich and allowing me to have imported chunks of glacier ice in my scotch and allowing me to have very attractive rent boys servicing my every need day and night. Thank you.
To Master Bates who sent me the multi functional sex toy kit...can I just say...
thank you so much! I spent all of Christmas putting it together and it really made my Christmas go with a bang.
I also gave the nanny the day off for an hour last Saturday so I could pose for these loving photos with my kids (what are their names again??)
Also, I know that so many of you have asked for my breasts when you go to have plastic surgery and that the EmmaK Smile® is now the most requested smile surgery in LA. But I do have my off days, just like you. I do have periods too, although the blood is scented with my signature perfume Musk d'Emma.
To prove that I can sometimes look almost ordinary, I give you the photo below. This is a great fun competition, so please can you put a humorous caption beneath it. Prizes include many copies of Poor Little Self-Centred Bitch Trod On Everyone To Get To The Top plus gallons of Musk d'Emma.
And now all there is to say is I love you all so much. If I could I would sleep with every one of you (provided you'd had an HIV test first and wore a full body condom).
May 2008 be full of blessings,
Lyrical Press, Simon 451 and more
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