I know Smellorama has been around for donkey's years but I was quite intrigued by the fact that they now call it Odorama and that an Odorama version of cute 80s comedy Gregory's Girl was recently screened in Edinburgh and that some of the smells were bad ones.
In the Odorama screening of Gregory's Girl (check out the mullets!) cards with eight smells on them were handed out. The smells of freshly cut grass, sweaty socks and teenage aftershave then wafted out during the screening.
I would have loved to have been there - it would have brought all the memories of teenage snogging rushing back. Remember ladies if you will the amount of aftershave some teenage lads used to wear - remember going in for a snog and finding that your eyes were watering because your date was drenched not only in acne medication (which I must confess to this day has peculiar erotic associations for me but that's between me and my therapist) but also in a full bottle of either Old Spice or Brut the smell of which was as pungent as cat pee?
Remember the tagline for Brut: "Apply a little Brut Force." You'd never get away with that today. How the mighty have fallen eh? Now Gazza drinks the stuff.
Have you ever wondered what the world would be like if eventually Odorama became ubiquitous and TV and movies smelt as if you were there? Now that would be great in a film like Charlie and the Chocolate Factory which would have me licking the screen and later making frenzied love to a (consenting) Mars Bar.
But what about the actors in the movies? Wouldn't it ruin the fantasy if we actually knew what they smelt like? If you were right up there in Brad Pitt's armpit while he was shagging some willing lovely would you gag at the scent of his terrible BO? I reckon Odorama would be a turn off because Brad Pitt is someone who always looks like he reeks of pheromones - in a bad way.
Other stinky celebs include Matthew McConaughey a self confessed stink bomb and beach bum who sees deodorant as the enemy. He wouldn’t even break the ban when his “Fool’s Gold” co-star, Kate Hudson, complained about his body odor. “She always brings a salt rock, which is some natural deodorant, and says, 'Would you please put this on?’” But her efforts were in vain. “I just never wore it," said Stink Boy McConaughey. "No cologne, no deodorant.” In fact, Matthew defends himself by insisting no other co-stars ever mentioned it!
Here is a list of other stinky celebs and their signature scents:
Colin Farrell: Stale Guinness, fags, vomit
Amy Winehouse: Ashtray, crack pipe
Bono: His shit stinks like everyone elses
Bruce Springsteen: Stale sweat, cheesy foreskin
Johnny Depp: Dead man smell on a musty thrift store coat
Kate Moss: Fags, morning after sewer breath
So do you think we are ready to see more movies in Odorama? What about the 2009 movie Manure featuring Billy Bob Thorton about a manure salesman in which "every surface, from the crops in the earth to the clouds in the sky, has been carefully color-graded and painted the appropriate shade of excrement." Just think if they could have just added the scent of fresh shit too, it would have been a big shit at the box office I'm sure.
And now tell me this: Which celebrities do you think smell the worst and also what movie done in Odorama would make you gag or tremble with delight?
Luci Mcquitty Hindmarsh
9 hours ago