Tuesday, November 30, 2010

Moving House: Dream v Reality

I'm dreaming of a White Kitchen .....with every Christmas card I write

Hello my lovelies. Maybe some of you are wondering where I have got to? All I can say is I am covered in scratches, my hair is full of dust and I am sneezing up a storm. Yes I have moved house and I'm dishing all about it at At Home magazine where I now have a column as The Ex-Pat Mommy. So click on the button below and check it out! And tell me if you too have lurid fantasies revolving around cookers with all the bells and whistles ... or is it just me?

Monday, November 22, 2010

The Best of The British Mummy Bloggers Carnival

BMB blog carnival button

Hi and welcome to the Carnival! I can't quite believe my time to host has come round so quickly. I remember applying to host it months and months ago and now my time has arrived slap bang in the middle of me moving house! That's why I'm posting a day early because I'm posting from the library - since my oven doesn't yet work (there is a knob missing) let alone my computer. But I am putting this together for your pleasure while I look forward to later savouring a delicious [not] slice of microwave pizza!

I've had a blast reading the entries, and now it's your turn, show your fellow bloggers some love and leave them a comment, find a new blog you haven't read before, (I know I have). So pour yourself a cuppa, or in my case a glass of Pinot Grigio, and enjoy!

First up is Bloggertropolis pondering what it would be like to have sex with Nigella

Cherished by Me posts about the pressure new mums are under to lose weight

Notes From Home ponders that this was not the sex education she planned on teaching!

Mummy Musings posts about how toys are biased towards gender and how she tries to rebel against this trend

Clare at Crumbs Feed Your Family has penned a side splitting open letter to Gordon Ramsay

Emma dishes on Mummybloggergate and confesses a rather unusual encounter at her dentists - she wants your stories too!

Pippa at A Mother's Ramblings wonders whether Dora The Explorer taught her boy to spell

Hayley at Singlemummy.net has been thinking about how bittersweet Accident and Emergency departments can be

A Modern Military Mother celebrates A Medal of Honor and A Royal Wedding

Sandy Calico reflects on the fact that there may be more than one version of beauty

Heather at Note From Lapland wonders whether British Women wear too much makeup

Bianca at Bigword's Blog reveals what men really talk about when they're on the toilet

Cocktails at Naptime writes a letter to Santa about what new mums don't want for Christmas

Cass at The Diary of a Frugal Family offers some great tips on shrinking down your monthly budget

Observations of Mrs. Average explains how bad parenting days are just as frequent as bad hair days in the Average household.

Mid 30s Life gives us her take on the Twilight Saga

Vegetmitevix is stressing out like mad about her imminent holiday and whether she can control the weather

Kellogsville dishes on how working from home sometimes involves going up in flames

Sarah from Catching the Magic posts about a British couple on their travels around Wellington, with a baby and four year old in tow

Emma at A Matter of Choice posts on an Unusual Proposal of Marriage

Tea Drinking Mum shares a Toy Store Story

Hazel at Hot Cross Mum wittily rewrites 'A Few of My Favourite Things' as 'Mother's Lament'

NurtureStore shows how to transform a load of old junk into an amazing model riding stables

Misssy M reveals how Twitter Is The New Toilet Wall


Friday, November 19, 2010


Exclusive Report by Ivan Tpublicity

An angry mummy blogger slash cookbook author who felt she was violated when she was searched at an airport has started a slew of blog posts by other mummy bloggers who had not realised until that moment that they had been violated in the course of their every day lives.

Mummy blogger Emma K who is also the co-author of hilarious book Cocktails At Naptime is representative of the outpouring of grief that has flooded the mummy blogger community since they read the airport post.

"Until this woman posted about this I had no idea that I had been mishandled," said Emma K, as mascara ran down her face. "I am so angry. I feel so violated. What happened was I went to my dentist earlier today. How was I to know that he was going to use a large mechanical instrument on me or that I was going to have to lie in a chair with my legs in the air in a sexually humiliating position? No one had ever told me that was what one did at the dentists. I am too traumatised to talk right now but I feel my dentist inappropriately violated my wisdom teeth when he 'grabbed' my gums and 'waggled' the teeth about (without telling me what he was going to do first) causing me considerable discomfort."

The mummy blogging community, which is already licking its wounds after sex bomb Andrew Marr declared that bloggers were “socially inadequate, pimpled, single, slightly seedy, bald and cauliflower-nosed, sitting in their mother’s basements and ranting,” is now reeling from this second blow.

The airport search confession post scandal now known as Mummybloggergate has rocked the mummy blogging community to its foundations. Some pundits are saying that the repercussions of such an outpouring of mummy grief may short circuit keyboards and cause breakdowns of whole mummy blogging message boards. We are definitely worried that Mummybloggergate could impact the economy with mums too traumatized by their new found grief to go shoe or clothes shopping. We will monitor this sensitive situation carefully to see how things progress.

Do you have a story about how you were mishandled by your local shoe salesman or optician? If so we want to hear from you.


Tuesday, November 16, 2010

British Mummy Bloggers Carnival Call For Posts

Join Me! I want you strutting your stuff at the BMB Carnival

I'm hosting the BMB Carnival here on Tuesday 23rd November. It's my first time hosting and I'm counting on you all to submit your posts to me by the 22nd at midnight.

Your posts can be about anything, there is no theme this time, just submit your favourite post to me by the 22nd and you will be featured in the carnival. It's a great way to get new readers for your blogs and find some great new blogs too.

To submit an entry, just email me the link to emmakcontact[at]yahoo.com together with a one line description of your post.

Looking forward to reading all your entries!

And while I have your attention be sure to check out my pal Gillian Martin's hilarious article 'Five Things To Know Before Pregnancy' which can be found over here at Glamour Magazine. Remember - if you love it leave a comment and rate it!


Friday, November 05, 2010

Has The World Gone Wack?

It's an unfortunate fact of life that those who have the energy to protest about things are often mentally unwell and that those who protest against consumerism actually defy logic. Take Buy Nothing Day (BND) an international day of protest against consumerism observed by social activists. Typically celebrated the Friday after American Thanksgiving in North America its motive is "a day for society to examine the issue of over-consumption." Right. Or take Adbusters who protest against advertising who say that saying no to ads is all "about starting a lasting lifestyle commitment to consuming less and producing less waste."

Or what about those Freeganists who dumpster dive and run their cars on used chip grease - don't they realize they're bankrolling their rather smelly lifestyle on the backs of the excesses of consumerism? What I want to ask today is: Why protest against consumerism? And if you are going to surely do it in a way that has some actual impact.

I think you can look at consumerism two ways. You can look at it like 'oh woe is me I'm such a victim of advertising and I hate that these pesky advertisers are making me buy stuff I don't need and the way manufacturers have all sorts of fashions I have to follow so I'm in with the in kids. I'm so angry ooh I know ... I'm gonna protest... I'm gonna deface advertising posters because I'm so angry about er consumerism.' They're quite funny I suppose but don't make much sense.

So you'll be using the hand cranked gramaphone will you?

And as for protests....Hey lady was that protest against the computer printed on a computer?

The other way you can look at it is the Western economy functions only when there is growth in the economy (ie producing more and consuming more). Whenever this growth is static we call it a recession. So if we stopped consuming crap and stopped buying the latest versions of Windows and didn't think we needed an iPad or the latest trend in flourescent leggings the economy would be up shit creek without a paddle.

Then there are those people who are doing their bit, like me like you, like most of us. They're 'reducing their consumption' by only taking one holiday or driving a mini van with a 'I Care About The Planet' bumper sticker and buy organically raised pigs. Nice idea and all that but you're just skimming the top of the glacier my friend. And even if you're trying to reduce the mess in your back yard just take a trip to somewhere like India and see just how polluted their seas are due to the fact that they don't legislate for the dumping of toxic chemicals from the manufacturers who just produced your cute $5 t-shirt.

Never mind free speech ban naked cyclists

So I say consume consume consume. Or go live on a self sustaining farm. Because you can't be somewhere in the middle. And even if you are on a self sustaining farm without electricity unless everyone is doing it what's the point?

So what do you say? Is there any bleedin' point to those wacko schemes about 'turning off the lights on Tuesdays' or 'not buying designer jeans on Fridays.' Because to me it makes not one bit of sense!