Friday, November 09, 2012

From Tantrums to Tiles - A Spiritual Journey

Excuse my absence but I have been busy modelling. Well remodelling really. One kitchen. One bathroom. One new deck. One complete nervous breakdown!

This has been a bit of a learning curve for me. Let's put it this way: I am not a morning person. Usually I need three cups of strong coffee to kick start the motor before even doing a Neantherthal grunt to the spousal unit. But, believe me, having a bunch of men in your house blasting Thin Lizzie in your earholes while bashing down walls with a sledgehammer at seven o'clock every morning will push you to the limit - and beyond.

I mean look, I simply don't get those shows like Hell's Kitchen where the chefs are asleep in a room (with six others) and som Kitchen Hitler comes in at three in the morning and bangs on a steel drum and toots on a trumpet and everyone has to get up immediately and skin a cow and make an entree out of its entrails. And the thing is, everyone seems to do it without going ballistic.

How? Will someone please explain?

Well, I have had the remodellers in for two months and yes it was a bit of a shock to the system. To be fair they are a nice bunch. But I don't find it easy to talk about the texture of wall tiles or the size of  lightbulbs at the crack of sparrows. But you know what, I have managed it. I have become a nicer person. I cannot bite the head off a contractor at seven in the morning or they might retaliate and sew a dead rat behind one of the walls...or something worse!

And what about the strain on one's marriage? Fifty thousand mind blowingly boring discussions about shades of paint have been conducted with Mr Mommy Has a Headache. "I want beige paint for the trim!" "Well I don't! I want oatmeal!"

"Okay, how to you feel about perlescent tiles?" "I don't give a fig for perlescent tiles."

It becomes a tug of war about every little decision. So in the end it's like SURRENDER. You choose the color of the deck and I'll choose the light fixtures. If you don't try and be mature about it you can see yourself ending up in a scene from War of the Roses.

I'm just pleased to say that we are now on the home stretch. For some, alas, things did not end so well. Including this note left by a husband at the close of a remodel project in the 70s was rediscovered recently behind some wainscoting [via Found mag]…

So tell me all about your remodelling experiences. I've heard of awful, drunken contractors who put up wonky walls. So do dish all...if you dare....


Kristen said...

My dad remodeled the house we grew up in for 30 years. I didn't even know sheet rock was not a type of wallpaper until I went to a friends house and actually saw their walls were painted.

Nicole Buckingham said...

The note... so sad. Glad you brave brave souls are faring better than the last. =)


I wanted to personally invite you too to join me and our beautiful team for An Aloha Affair-- it's a new sort of way of being/ growing together in a more meaningful way and we're truly committed to you having a great experience-- I hope you'll join us... save ya a spot?...


Vicki Psarias said...

So funny..sure you'll survive, if you can get through kids aka sleep deprivationm you can handle a remodel!

Electro-Kevin said...

HI Emma

I've very worried. I received your email and will try to put a rescue squad together.

Hold tight !


***Message I receieved from you below. Please check.***


I am sorry for reaching you rather too late due to the situation of things right now. My family and I had a trip visiting Manila Philippines, everything was going on fine until last night when we got attacked by some unknown gunmen. All our money,phones and credit cards was stolen away including some valuable items, It was a terrible experience but the good thing is they didn't hurt anyone or made away with our passports.

We have reported the incident to the local authorities and the consulate but their response was too casual, we were ask to come back in 2weeks time for investigations to be made proper,But the truth is we can't wait till then as we have just got our return flight booked and is leaving in few hours from now but presently having problems sorting out our bills here and also getting a cab down to the airport, Right now we're financially strapped due to the unexpected robbery attack, Wondering if you can help us with a quick loan to sort our bills and get back home. All we need is ($1,650 USD) or anything you can afford, I promise to refund you in full as soon as I return hopefully tomorrow or next. write back now to let me know what you can do.

Thank You

EmmaK said...

Electro-Kevin....I know our friendship goes WAAAAY back so I don't feel $1,650 USD is too much to ask. Thanks so much in advance right now I am very low on rations and am eating the wallpaper. Awaiting the rescue squad!

Stay-At-Home Indie-Pop said...

We extended our kitchen and I let Mrs Pop take all the decisions and win all the discussions. Marriage survived. The contractor, who was Spanish, proudly showed me the graffiti he'd painted underneath the new breakfast counter - Spain, European Champions 2008. Then he covered it up for the delight and information of future demolition crews.

GrandmaSally said...

new follower, Hope you'll drop in to say hi =) Have a wonderful Thanksgiving

Electro-Kevin said...

Too much choice. The chief reason for the high levels of neurosis in the affluent western economies.

Why ?

Because there is no-one else to blame for our bad choices and a shittily done kitchen stands out a mile against a good one and by things such as these we rank ourselves.

Plus there is the issue of not just one room being fucked up for the entire duration of the household 'improvment'.

Give me austerity any day.

EmmaK said... is because you are not genetically female that you do not get the hormonal rush from a new kitchen. Now the builders are gone I couldn't be happier ...i mean no serously although I appreciate I do have a high level of neurosis.

Electro-Kevin said...

I'm watching Fatal Attraction at this very moment.

I can see the benefits of a kitchen which is both spacious... and robust.

EmmaK said...

Electro-Kevin....yes that's why I have the granite surfaces. They're practically indistructible in a fist fight non?

Victoria said...

I've only had a bathroom redone and it went well. Mostly because it was done by my FIL so I didn't have to deal with anyone shady!

Stopping by from the link-up! Looking forward to following.