Thursday, May 17, 2012

Finding My Water Wings


I have recently become a water aerobics fanatic. I go to a gym that has a somewhat volatile air conditioning and heating system. So I was either freezing like a popsicle or burning up like a sausage on a barbie in the regular exercise classes ...or maybe those were just early hot flashes! Whatever. I knew something had to give. I had seen the water aerobics class and wanted a slice of styrofoam dumbell action. The time was right to discover my inner dolphin. So I just dived in.

There are so many positives. Firstly I am the youngest person in the group by twenty years. Secondly I am the fittest person in the class simply because I am young. So if I simply do the moves twice as fast as the seniors I feel insanely superfit like I'm Jillian Michaels or summat.


If you want to feel superfit it is quite simple. Use psychological tricks on yourself. Make sure you're the hottest looking chick in the exercise class. If this means signing up for yoga for seniors or water aerobics -just do it!

The other thing is that no one in the class is in a hurry to get anywhere. Sometimes I'm in the water for three hours getting as pickled as a prune while we all chat about holidays, grandchildren, or what kind of soil suits what kind of plant. In the case of the men there does seem to be some very vague flirting going on. One gent asked me if I was a university student. Bless him. Maybe he does have cataracts but he made my day.

Am I selling this to you yet?

One wierd thing has been puzzling me though. Yesterday I was doing my water moves to Chuck Berry when we all noticed this guy who was about thirty. He was sitting in a lounge chair tapping away on his laptop. He was wearing a blue outfit that could have been medical scrubs, or the uniform of god only knows what. No one knew how he had smuggled in the beach lounger.


Sorta like this but indoors wearing medical scrubs. WTF?

Okay so he could have been using the free Wifi that the gym offers. But why in the name of God was he relaxing in a pose like he was on the beach cheek by jowl beside an indoor pool full of gyrating seniors and one pseudo-senior (moi). The mind boggles. We found out from the lifeguards that this guy was not working for the gym. One of the more outgoing pensioners swam up to him and asked, "Are you a spy?" But he ignored her.

What do you think was going on? Several theories spring to mind but let's keep this clean.

I just hope to God he wasn't filming and I don't end up on youtube .....



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15 comments:

The Eye said...

He was def using the laptops integrated webcam, probably for one of those granny sex websites...
Youtube would be a blessing compared to a granny sex site... : )

EmmaK said...

The Eye.....GULP.....Well at least the people accessing the gilf site won't be ogling me as I don't have liver spots or whatever it is that gives them the horn!!

Very Bored in Catalunya said...

I would so sign up to an geriatric exercise class, could be the future for me!

And get rid of this bloody catpcha thingymajig! I get it wrong about 5 times. Grr

About Last Weekend said...

Don't worry...He's probably only going to post it on some bizarre porno site. Mum keeps telling me to take up golf as I'm (only) 50 and I'll be fantastic at it by the time I'm 80. Something to look forward to...

Memphis Steve said...

Sounds like he was a blogger and he was looking for a secret place to write his blog in private without getting busted by anyone who might know him.

Philipa said...

Water aerobics, what a great idea! Sadly I can no longer afford any funds for self and am getting fatter by the day :(

I wonder who the wierd guy was? Some men go for older women. Better than going for children. I shall await your debut on Youtube, Em as the babe of the senior mermaids.

badside said...

Maybe he was just getting a little work done before or after his workout. Ugh, I've had to check in at odd times and places for work too, although w/ smart (dumb) phones you see less of this with laptops. As long as he didn't drink a mug of old lady pool water, he's probably not that much of a pervo. Me thinks if the class were 20 years younger than you (a mathematical impossibility), you'd still be the hottest chick in the pool! Have a great week Sugar!

EmmaK said...

Philipa....even if he wasn't a pervo why didn't he just use the cafe to access wifi?...it just strikes me as odd!!
Re your burgeoning bingo wings...surely you can afford to go to the local pool- it used to cost about a pound back when I lived in London or maybe things have changed since I moved to US of A 11 years ago?

The Laundress said...

TOTALLY filming.

Or blogging bout what he saw...

Possibly?

I've always wanted to try aquaerobics. Maybe I'll join the seniors in the pool this year...

Metropolitan Mum said...

If you do, please send me the link. Life's a bit boring right now.

About Last Weekend said...

Just back to say I watched that new movie with Michelle Williams in and they have a hilarious water aerobics scene. Suffice to say they put a blue chemical in the pool which traces all leakages to the person,

Strength essence said...

Headache is one of the most common reasons that patients seek medical attention

jake said...

love love love it!!! Sooo laugh out loud funny... thank you 3x... i thought only fifty-boy got it like that... you are the best!
jake finn
jakefinn@gmail.com
fifty-boy.blogspot.com

Expat mum said...

Sorry but I'm still laughing at some geezer asking you if you were a college student. I may have to come and sign up!

EmmaK said...

Expat Mum....you will love it! You feel so fit because you can do things so much faster and your skin feels so firm and muscular in comparison to the oldies. Also for some reason most of the people in Water Aerobics are very nice ....unless you try and touch their water dumbbells and then they let you have it!